a memorial tree for my dad

The 11th of august marks the day where my dad passed away.

Even though it is almost two years ago, I am still dealing with the grief that on some days can feel completely unbearable. Like many other queers I had a very complex relationship with my dad.

His name was Benny, he was a carpenter coming from a shoemaker family and worked himself up to be a building contractor. A proud Leo, who lived and worked hard. Before cancer took over most of his life he was also a great friend to the local community in this little farmer village he and his wife were living in.

We for sure had a lot of problematic and traumatizing years together, but I have come to a point in my grief where I want to remember him as a parent who taught a lot of good stuff too. Like for example, different wood/stone/material crafts and construction methods in general. As a kid we also made paintings and drawings together and he taught me the importance of being able to dream of something unrealistic.

He left a giant hole in my heart. And therefore on his next birthday, the 7th of August, I want to go to the cemetery, where he is buried and plant a tree next to his tombstone.

My dad had many favorite trees, one of them was a Japanese red maple tree, also called an ‘acer palmatum’. It symbolizes peace, strength and change. I personally also love them because they are monoecious, meaning they have both male and female flowers on the same plant<3

This fundraiser will be helping to cover the expenses to buy the tree, and train tickets for me and an emotional support friend.

Thank you for reading this and your possible donation.

And many thanks to my friends, who were there when my dad passed away, and to the ones listening to my memories, wounds and stories. Big love to all of you, and to my queer community all over the world <3 I see you.