disabled black autistic needs help with survival

for those who don’t want to donate through GFM: venmo: asapskrr
cashapp: $asapskrr
i’ve been putting this off a long time but whatever.  i’m dee and i’ve been unemployed since december due to my mental disabilities worsening significantly. i’m 21, black, and a disabled transmasc person who’s struggled with multiple mental illnesses since i was 13. none of my mental struggles were acknowledged or even treated until i was 18 and i was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety, bipolar 2 disorder, and PTSD shortly after. since then, ive been on 9 different anti-depressants and mood stabilizers that either didn’t work or gave me such horrible side effects that aggravated my already present symptoms. in august, in a last resort attempt, i underwent shock (tms) 5 days a week for 36 sessions. TMS worked wonderfully and basically took away all of my major depression symptoms, but it left all the anxiety behind. my anxiety has gotten so bad that i’m constantly plagued with stomach trouble, uncontrollable thoughts, and at my last job, i was having at least one panic attack every two hours.  my panic attacks would make me physically sick (chills, vomiting, shaking, dizziness, difficulty breathing) and i’d be running to the bathroom multiple times a shift. i truly hate medication but it’s the only treatment i can access right now since i’ve been in therapy since i was 18. if  the anti-anxiety meds don’t work, then i’ll have to try four different medications just to qualify** for TMS again. my mom is a schoolteacher and is quitting her job once they decide to bring the kids back to keep us all safe bc we all have underlying conditions and they’re among the highest risk group. once she does this, i won’t have the basically free insurance i had before and i’ll most likely have to pay for it out of pocket monthly (bc it’s v unlikely i find a job to insure me so fast/easily). the money donated to me, would be for basic survival and day to day necessities such as food, medicine, bills, etc,. my parents try to be supportive but still completely lack the understanding that a mental illness can affect you just as much as a physical one. they consistently ask me when i’m getting a job and getting insurance so they can stop paying for it. i really wish i was well enough to work so i could provide for myself and them but i’m just not there yet. in the mean time, i could really use some help with bills and my car note. it’s $275 a month and i have next month’s payment but i’m concerned about the next. i’m not asking anyone who isn’t able to comfortably donate to donate, but i would appreciate it if you shared this around. thank you.