Adia's Junior Roller Derby World Cup Fundraiser

Hello to anyone who is reading this. I hope this message finds you well. You are here reading this for a reason. The reason is that I need money. Now you may be asking, “Why would a seventeen-year-old who will be moving to college within the next year need money?”...

I hope that question answered itself, given the fact that going to college and living alone is expensive, but that is actually beside the point.

The point is I’M GOING TO FRANCE AS A MEMBER OF THE USA JUNIOR WORLD CUP ROLLER DERBY TEAM.

I put in the work, trained and studied and listened and watched for four years, and my hard work has paid off. I made the team. And I could not be prouder of myself. I am truly blessed.

Unfortunately, because roller derby is a very small, localized sport, this trip will not pay for itself. Over the next four months, my parents (shout out to them) will have to undertake the responsibility of finding a way to pay for flights to various games, uniforms, and practices leading up to the world cup, as well as the trip to France itself. This is no cheap endeavor, which is why I have created this fundraiser.

With your monetary support, you could help me, a young and ambitious black athlete, make it to France to represent the entire United States on the grandest junior roller derby stage. You would be helping my dreams come true. There is no minimum donation; whatever God places on your heart to put forward toward my aspirations is sincerely appreciated. Just the fact that you have read this overly verbose statement warms my heart.

You can count on me to not misappropriate this money and use it for frivolities such as clothes and whatnot. I hate spending money. I’m a certified miser. I once impulse-bought an overpriced bag of Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles from the gas station, and I cannot stop thinking about it to this day. So don’t worry. This money will be going to the right place.

Again, I thank you immensely for your donation and for your time.

Sincerely,

-Soulja Crab