Amanda & Spenser's IVF Journey 2.0
WHO WE ARE
Spenser and I met doing children's theater in 2006 in Los Angeles. I had been part of this company since I was 9 years old, and it's all but too beautiful that it's where we would meet. After being together for 6.5 years, we got married in a small backyard wedding in October of 2014. We've been trying to start a family since June of 2015.
Both Spenser and I were put on this planet to be advocates, supporters, and nurturers of children. I've personally known this about myself since I was a little girl- I have always, ALWAYS wanted to be a mom. All of my jobs have involved being with children. I was a staff director with said children's theater company where I met Spenser, enamoured with exposing children to the arts. After college, I worked in early childhood education as an infant caregiver. I've had the honor to help nurture over 60 babies throughout the my time at the daycare. Having the opportunity to intimately get to know so many families on such a personal and deep level has been really incredible. And though I am on a different career path now, when my scheduling allows, I still go back and substitute at the school to stay in close contact with the babies (who are growing so quickly!), and their families. I am now a newborn and family photographer, and feel so honored to be able to preserve fleeting moments in a family's life with my camera.
For those of you who know Spenser, know that when he sets his mind on something, he does it to his fullest capability. He is so passionate about learning and exploring everything this world has to offer, and is so eager to rediscover and share this planet with his children.
OUR INFERTILITY JOURNEY
Spenser and I have been trying to start a family for the past 23 months. Unfortunately, mother nature appears to have other plans- and we've already been on quite the journey.
In the past 2 years, the one and only time that I have been pregnant resulted in emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy. I had internal bleeding, and the doctor's didn't know where the pregnancy was. I had to sign a waiver saying that they were going in as an exploratory surgery, and I had to give permission to remove any or all of my reproductive system depending on what they found, which was truly terrifying. The pregnancy ended up being in my right fallopian tube-
and my incredible surgeons stayed an extra 1.5 hours in surgery to save the tube. After healing, we went on to try IUIs, intrauterine inseminations. The goal of an IUI to increase the number of sperm that reach the fallopian tubes and subsequently increase the chance of fertilization and a pregnancy. We did 4 cycles, 4 attempts, 4 months of IUIs-- but unfortunately all of them were unsuccessful.
The truly frustrating part in all of this is that our diagnoses is "unexplained infertility". Doctors cannot find a single thing wrong with Spenser or me-- on paper, we both physically look absolutely perfect. There isn't a reason, a cause, or a diagnoses as to why we haven't been able to get pregnant.
Our only option left is IVF, in-vitro fertilization. This process involves fertilizing my eggs in a laboratory setting, hoping they grow, and then implanting them back into my body. Unfortunately, this type of procedure is not covered by insurance, and we'll be paying for
everything out of pocket.
In June, we completed our first IVF cycle. Please click on the Update tab on this page to read about our journey. The outcome was not what we were hoping for, by any means. We will be starting cycle #2 in August, 2017.
The costs for each IVF cycle breaks down the following way:
-IVF Cycle (includes office visits, lab tests, egg retrieval, and embryo transfer): $8,010
-Anesthesia: $550
-Micro fertilization and assisted hatching: $1,845
-Genetic screening on embryos: $4,950
-Embryo freezing (including 1 year of storage): $630
-Medication: between $3,000 and $7,000
The total cost will potentially add up to $22,985 for a single attempt to get pregnant.
This entire process is overwhelming, and has already been an intense emotional rollercoaster. Adding the financial burden just pours salt into an already open wound. And this is why we decided to create this page, even though it's hard to ask for help, especially financial help.
We've always believed that raising children takes a village...but in our instance, creating our children will also take a village.The support of our family and friends over the past two years has been incredible. We feel so many people cheering for us, thinking about us, praying for us. We are SO ready to be parents, and grateful that medical technology is at a place where we still have options to explore.
Any amount that you might be able to contribute to our medical bills would mean the world to us. Truly every dollar counts towards the greater goal of being able to be parents.
With love,
Amanda & Spenser
#WORTH THE WAIT
From very early on in our infertility journey, we have been very open with our struggles. What Spenser and I have come to discover is that infertility struggles are so common, yet NO ONE talks about it.
As I mentioned, I am a newborn and family photographer. My photography is fueled by storytelling. I have decided to tell our story with my photography because I want others to know that they are not alone. I want to break the taboo of infertility, where people feel they have to go through this silently. The photo below is of myself, I was likely around 5 weeks pregnant. 6 days after this image was taken, I would end up in the emergency room. We had no idea that this would be the start of our journey to have our baby.
I have started a series I call #WorthTheWait, where I gift a newborn session once a month to a couple who has overcome infertility. So, as silly as it is to talk about this on a page where we are seeking support, if you or anyone you know is on the other side of this journey, if you finally have your baby you have been waiting and waiting for- I'd be honored to tell your story.