In Loving Memory of My Father, An Hi Ngo

In all honesty, my dad was never a great father nor was he a terrible one. He perhaps was never ready to be a father, but he was still the only dad I would ever ask for.

Growing up, my dad did not make the wisest decisions however, I knew that his efforts were always to put food on the table and clothes on my body. I would never be anymore grateful for his efforts to attempt to shower me with a comfortable life, even if it meant I wasn't always going to be raised under the same roof as him.

In 2015, my dad's health took a toll when his house burnt down and he had inhaled the smoke from the fire. Upon arriving in the hospital, it was discovered that he had thyroid cancer in which the doctors had to insert a tracheostomy to remove the cancer. It was also discovered that he had diabetes, high cholesterol, and within 24 hours, he had 2 heart attacks which led him to have bypass surgery. In 2020, my dad's health further deteriorated in which he experienced a stroke impacting the entire left-side of his body including his vision. Due to the stroke, he had lost most of his independence and had to recover in the hospital for 2 years.

As his only child, I will admit that it was difficult being his daughter. It was difficult at 15 to have a dad who had a tracheostomy and learning how to be his primary caretaker. It was difficult at being 20 to visit the hospital everyday, bringing him food and reassuring him that he would be able to regain his strength and go back out in the world one day.

However, what was the most difficult was on November 20th, 2024, my dad went to the emergency for reasons that even I don't even know what for and due to unforeseen circumstances, I was told that my dad's life was terminal as his lungs were filled with liquid and both his kidneys were failing. My most difficult decision was at 25, I had to let the doctors know to either let him live the next few hours comfortably or if he would spend the rest of his days in the ICU. Ultimately, due to my decisions, on November 21st, 2024, my dad passed away.

Without fail, my dad would joke that nothing would kill him. He would even say that COVID-19 never got him (which was true). Although I wanted to hold onto those words so bad, I had also expected this day to come. However, to be living through it, for a lack of better terms, really really really sucks.

I am now in the stages where I am preparing to say goodbye and a child planning a funeral for their parent is truly no easy feat, especially when it comes down to the financial burden of it all. At this moment, it is my only and utmost wish that as his daughter, I can provide him a proper funeral that he deserves.

If you are able to donate, I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart and if you cannot, I completely understand and still deeply appreciate you taking the time to read this and making it this far in my story.

Your support, whether through a donation and/or kind words, means everything to me. Thank you for helping me honor my dad’s memory in the best way possible.

Love,

Jenny