Anais Gutierrez

In December of 2021, I found out that I was pregnant. That sort of news brings with it all kinds of emotions; fear, happiness and the excitement about being a parent. It was the sort of news that I had never experienced before. I was anxious about being pregnant and then it all went away the moment I felt my baby move for the first time. It made all of my initial worries about pregnancy, fade away. My baby was healthy and alive. Feeling my baby move was relieving because it let me know that there was nothing wrong, she was fine.

On August 23, 2022, I went into labor and delivered my healthy baby girl. Her initial entrance into this world was a bit complicated as she swallowed her own poop and they needed to clear her airways. She was purple and she didn’t want to breathe and both my husband and I feared the worst. However, they cleared her airways and got her breathing on her own and she was fine. All of her tests came back good and the pediatrician on duty made the statement that she was the healthiest and most content baby that he had ever seen. She was happy, healthy and alive. My Anais May was the best thing that had ever happened to both me and my husband and that never changed.

On the morning of September 11th, Anais woke up at 10:30AM for her next bottle and about 25 minutes after, she started projectile vomiting. She continued this throughout the morning and finally, my husband and I decided to take her to the emergency room at Cook's Childrens since this is the hospital that her pediatrician was associated with. Upon arriving, we were ushered into triage where we waited for 5 hours before we finally got into a room. They did take Anais for an ultrasound and a CT scan as we continued to wait. During this time, she continued to vomit and no one did anything or seemed to care. The hospital staff just continued to make us wait. Finally, after 5 long hours, we were taken to a room where we waited another 2 hours before the doctor finally came in to see Anais. She was in a rush and just told me that my daughter had Acid reflux and she was healthy and otherwise fine. However, Anais had started to grunt with every breath during the time that we had been waiting and this was not a normal occurence for her. I told the doctor that she wouldn't take her bottle and I didn't want her to just be sent home with no solid explanation as to why she was vomitting. She ordered some blood tests and some fluids and then left. Another nurse came into the room to get her blood and give her fluids, which according to them, needed to be done in syrringes because Anais was too young to have anything more than that. Her grunting got worse during this time and I told the nurse that had come in to draw her blood and she knew that it was abnormal. The nurse told me herself that it was off and she didn't say anything to the doctor or anyone, she ignored it. I mentioned this to the doctor when she came in and she dismissed my daughters symptoms, ignoring the distress that she was clearly in, and told me that she was fine and she just had gas. They sent my daughter home with the diagnosis that she was 'fussy' and she had acid reflux. Her scans were clean but there was clearly something wrong with Anais. I trusted the doctors since they’re supposed to know what they’re doing. 

Once we were home, I continued to feed Anais with the suggestions that the doctor had given me but she still continued to refuse her bottle. At her next bottle, around 5AM the next morning on September 12, 2022, she seemed dazed, almost as if she was in a trance and she continued to grunt with every breath. I called her doctors on call, after hours service and they recommended that I take her to her pediatrician just because we had been at the emergency room the night before. So, when the doctor opened, I sent several messages through the portal and I called. I didn't receive a call untill 11AM where they tried to refuse to get her seen that day, claiming that they were too full and she might need to be seen another day. I pretty much had to force them to see her and I was finally able to get her in at around 1:30pm. Shortly before I set out to take her to the doctor, she began with a soft cry but I was taking her to the doctor at that moment so I was hoping to get answers when I got there. The answers never came as the moment I arrived at the doctors office, my daughter died. She went into cardiac arrest and her heart stopped. I rushed her into the doctors office where no one seeme to know what to do. After about 30 minutes, she was taken to Cook's Children's where it was confirmed that she was dead. They did manage to get her heart started temporarily before it was confrimed that there was nothing more that could be done.

I had to see her face when she died and this is what torments me every single day. To see the face of your daughter the moment her heart stops is not something any parent should ever have to live with. This was so unexpected and my husband lost his job and has been struggling to find another one ever since she died. I had to take time off work and even then, they’re not giving me 40 hours. We need help financially and with her funeral arrangements since our plan is to cremate her and place her in the wall with my father who died in July of 2020. We don’t plan to hold a memorial just because its very hard on both of us but Anais deserves to have her story told. We don’t have answers as to why she died, even though we’re seeking them desperately but as the autopsy report comes back, I will keep you updated.

We don’t like to ask for help and we never have but we don’t know where else to turn. Our baby was taken from us too soon and we are struggling to cope with this reality. If there’s any way you can help, we would appreciate it.

Anais May Gutierrez: August 23, 2022-September 12, 2022.