Andrea's Rest and Recovery Fund

Hi Friends <3

As many of you already know I’ve been struggling with endometriosis and the associated chronic pain, exhaustion and depression since I was a teenager, and more acutely for the last 6ish years. It has been incredibly challenging to navigate the health care system, especially as a single, self-employed anglophone woman.

I’m happy to report that I am finally receiving the care that I need, although it is a bittersweet triumph.

I have been leaning hard on my closest loved ones emotionally, energetically and not least of all financially. But now I must cast my karmic net a little wider. I truly wish I was asking for cash for a greater project than my own survival.

Content Warning: Medical Gore

I will likely be starting pharmaceutical and hormonal therapies next month to quell the severe bleeding I’ve been living with for the last 3 years. I’ve also been forewarned of 1-3 surgeries within the next few months depending on the severity of the findings and whether or not I respond to treatment.

Earlier this month a sizeable masse was found in my womb and I have been diagnosed with quite severe hyperplasia. The result of this is that I am experiencing haemorrhaging for about 10 days of the month losing about 15-20% of my blood as my body tries to clear these blockages. As of this January I am under the care of the MUHC Gyno-Oncology team. I’m still waiting to see if I have Cancer, what kind and how severe. The path is still unclear but I’ve already had one painful biopsy and will be doing another in a few weeks.

I am still in the testing phase and *fingers crossed* this masse is simply the devil I know, endometriosis and not the big “C”. If that is the case I will still have several surgeries ahead of me.

* * *

As you might imagine this process has been incredibly emotionally gruelling, putting all my psycho-spiritual training to the test. I feel like I’ve already cycled through every possible outcome and died 1000 deaths and reincarnations in the last 3 weeks. The only regrets I found in those meditations were: wishing I treated my body with more tenderness and releasing more of my art and writing into the world.

It is my desire and intention to keep working as much as possible over the coming months, but at this time I don’t know that I will be able to. Ideally I want to feel safe enough financially to properly catalogue my recordings and curriculum so that in the future my work out lives me and I can contribute even when I’m too sick to work.

Despite my strong will and independent nature, these last years I’ve felt like a weak little lamb in wolf’s clothing. I’ve been begging doctors to listen to me and managing all of this with the help of (biological and chosen) family but ultimately, I’m the one advocating for myself. I’ve been *attempting* to keep my Hypno practice afloat, my bills paid and my medical appointments in order but everything seems to take me 3x longer because I’m caught in a cycle of weakness, sadness and debilitating pain. This season of my life continues to humble and eviscerate me mind, body and soul.

In short, I’ve been in survival mode and getting sicker everyday because of it. As someone who has dedicated their life to helping other’s slay their demons, I’m learning through this process how to stop fighting and simply let other’s help.

Alas, I ask that you keep the faith in my capacity to heal and *Goddess willing* rise stronger.

I’m grateful for the loving communities I’ve been cultivating within Montréal, Potton, Saskatchewan and online. I even spent much of the last many years crashing in my mom’s basement, in Munro’s guest room or at Gwynne’s farm when I couldn’t take care of myself alone. And-while they won’t be rid of me yet ;) its exponentially harder to deal with the burden of illness when you, yourself feel burdensome.

My aim is to have 6 months of peace so I can have a chance at full recovery instead of continuous expending my reserves. The funds collected will be going toward my basic needs, debt accrued while unable to work and a little extra safety net for additional therapies, herbs and home care between surgeries.

My dream is that we can all celebrate and dance together for my 40th birthday later this year and I can finally feel like my passionate, vital self again.

Thank you for your contribution and happy thoughts,

All the love, Andrea xo