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Help Angie Survive Pancreatitis
I've accepted after 39 months into this battle for my life, I have to ask for help.
On 2/22/12 about 3am I woke with the most incredible pain of my life. It feels like a butcher knife in your upper abdomen plus endless vomiting/nausea. I knew something was really wrong but had no idea what, maybe a heart attack? A trip to ER revealed Acute Pancreatitis, something I had never even heard of before & resulted in my spending almost a week in the hospital horribly ill. I hoped this was a one time ordeal. Just a weird thing like being struck by thunder. No such luck, I continued to have these awful attacks and to get sicker and sicker. This was really interfering with me being SuperMom and as I was in my 22nd year as a Paralegal and breadwinner for my family. I have never been one not to work - 2 jobs in high school, 2 college degrees earned at night + 2 years of law school, all while working full time, and being very proud of my career, plus raising a family, being the room Mom, so on, and just loving and doing it ALL! I kept on working, but missing more and more time from work when I was in the hospital over 40 times the first 2 years. I tried so hard to keep on keeping up, if I wasn't in the hospital I went to work - even if I was vomiting in my trash can - I saved my sick days for the hospital. My life becoming a revolving door of pancreatitis attacks and hospital stays of 3-5 days every other week or two. After several surgeries, it was discovered I also had Sphincter of Oddi dysfunction. 2 more surgeries later and I was worse rather then better. I still tried to keep working, but was ultimately let go the week before Christmas 2013, and the day after I had requested time off for my 5th surgery a few weeks later. I live in Spokane and my specialist is in Seattle, so every visit to him and surgery requires a trip there. So I picked up my final paycheck the day I left town for that surgery and used it to travel there, for a surgery from which I wound up having complications, becoming very ill and spending more time then planned in the hospital in Seattle. That was January, 2014 & I was at that time forced to make the heartwrenching decision that I could no longer work and that I had to apply for disability. I wanted to work but was not reliable or physically capable. I had heard the horror stories about how long it takes to get approved for disability, but silly me I thought "But they will see that I am really, really sick and I have worked my whole life since I was a kid". Well, over 15 months later, and now 39 months into this illness, I continue to wait for my benefits to go through, as I get sicker and attempt to survive with no income, have lost my car, am facing the imminent loss of my home to foreclosure, and struggle just to keep the power & water from being shut off every single month. My life has become a mere existence of trying to keep afloat, take care of my youngest daughter that is still at home, and having in home care to help me stay in my own home as much as possible, as opposed to the hospital during my routine AP attacks. I spend most all my time in my home with my IV running at home via my PICC line (soon to be replaced by a port). I have not been able to visit my specialist since last year because I do not have the money nor reliable transportation to make the trip. I have already sold off everything of value, all the way down to clothing through an exchange group, to keep things going. I've worked very hard not to let my kids go without during this difficult time. It has been hard to accept the reality that we would actually lose our home of 16 years, I just kept telling myself that my disability had to come through in time to save the house. Then 3 days ago I was informed that I was going to have accept the reality that I would not receive a hearing on my disability claim anytime this year. We are out of time, our home will be put up for sale in a couple weeks. To exercise the last possible mediation option, it costs a fee that we cannot pay, but if we are able to come up with it we would at least have a little more time. My goal amount is the total amount I owe to save my home, though it feels like it may as well be five million. To try to exercise repayment options with them, it costs money we don't have. If we do finally lose our home, we must move somewhere - rent an apartment (first, last, deposit, etc.). In the meantime, as I sit here today, I continue to make my phone calls and plead with the utility companies, as there are shut off notices on everything. I cannot afford my medical expenses nor living expenses, until/unless the benefits that I believed I had earned over the course of the past quarter century, hopefully finally come through. I will try to sell the few things I have left and send every five dollars I can scrape up towards power or water. So here I am, it has been suggested to me that I have to "get creative" in raising money to survive this crisis and that "gofundme" could be a way to help my family through this horrible time in meeting medical and bare living needs. I have always been the one that helps others, the one to give even when I don't have anything to give, the one to jump in for every volunteer or donation request, and the one who would drive around with a couple of extra bags of toiletries & snacks in case I saw a homeless person that might need something. So please believe me when I say it is humbling and humiliating altogether to think about being that person and to ask others for help. I struggled terribly with making the decision to do this. I am more grateful then words could ever express for the help I have received from family and friends along the way <3