Ann's Cancer Recurrence and Continuing Care

Here is the link to stream the benefit concert on 2/21/20 8PM EST. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPLCY_p7KCQ Hello to all. It breaks my heart to have to share this news and start another campaign. I was closing in on my five year cancer free mark. That would've been Jan. 1, 2020. I've done everything "right", following the cancer fighting protocol for my disease. Last year was extremely difficult. I had an expensive, painful, and emotionally draining preventative cancer surgery that left me with PTSD, debt, depression, and fatigue. I had to fight and claw everyday just to make it to work and to get back to a healthy physical and emotional state and to be able to do what I love best (again!), play the oboe and teach my students. I thought I succeeded, and was so happy to perform this past summer at two conferences and couldn't wait to start the new academic year fresh and ready to tackle teaching my favorite and familiar courses. Also, I felt like ME again! I was happy and had energy and ready to get  back to a "normal" life without having everyday be about cancer and/or cancer recovery. This excitement all came to a screeching halt on August 6, 2019, when I was told my cancer had come back and was much more serious than before. To be honest, I knew something was wrong, I'm excellent at listening to signs from my body even if others don't believe me or take me seriously, as has happened in the past. I was having sharp pain off and on since May. In some ways, it was a relief to know what was wrong. But then...the reality and nightmare set in. 

Even though I have a good job with good health insurance, I nearly went bankrupt at age 35, during the prime of my career. I spent all of my savings on cancer treatment and racked up serious debt. I had to stop paying my school loans for several years because of this debt, so those loans have been accruing more interest. I've been asked by several people why I haven't bought a house after receiving tenure, which was extremely difficult to do while so sick from cancer treatments. The truth is, if you get cancer as a young adult, all of your expenses and financial decisions from that point forward revolve around cancer and treatment. I've had to have several expensive tests, medications, and surgeries every single year so having savings isn't really in the cards. A house and other pieces of a "normal" life are out of the question for me at the moment. I do not say this for sympathy, these are just the facts. I'm still paying off last year's surgery, have accumulated $8000 in medical bills in August 2019 alone, and am on chemo medications now and for the unknown future in which the copay with insurance is a few thousand/month. I'm fortunate to have found out that those chemo co-pays are covered at the moment! Yippee! However, I still have to pay for many expensive tests, several pain, hormone, and other monthly prescriptions, and hundreds in co-pays every time I set foot in the hospital out of pocket. I just want to stay alive and get back to my job, but I need to be strong and vulnerable and ask for help. Since my family lives thousands of miles away, I do not drive for medical reasons, and am a single and independent lady, I have added stresses and expenses that many do not understand.

If you can spare anything, small or large, I will be so, so  appreciative. If you cannot, I completely understand. I'm asking for some empathy and compassion as well, although I am not a victim and cancer doesn't define me; I've still accomplished great things with this disease, and plan on continuing for as long as possible. The pic I used is my favorite new headshot. It makes me feel powerful, strong, and beautiful, even though the "new/old" cancer was growing inside me at the time, and I didn't know it. If you're not in a place to contribute financially, please share. I'd also love prayers, oboe reeds (completely serious as I don't have the energy to make them at the moment), positive thoughts, meals, rides, visits, facetimes, calls, hugs, or anything else you'd like to offer as I battle this living on my own in TX. If you don't know what to say, it's fine. There are no "right" words. Just being with me, listening, or sending me a quick message that you care (without making jokes, yes, it's happened) is enough and would help make me feel so happy, loved, and not alone.

Lastly, thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who have already offered up  your homes in Houston, cooked for me, drove me places, let me cry on your shoulder, and anything else I'm forgetting. My life is forever changed...but I will persevere. I will turn my PTSD into post traumatic growth (which  is a real thing) again. I just need time. I'm still in shock and emotionally processing. 

Thanks to everyone in advance, and I'm sending much love to you.