Anna from Dear Chelsea

Thanks for your interest in supporting my GoFundMe! Below is the letter I wrote to Chelsea Handler for the Dear Chelsea podcast. Any donation helps!

Dear Chelsea,

I’m a 34 year old woman who’s fought hard for the life I live today. As a young teen living in a challenging environment, I developed an eating disorder that followed me through many eras of life. At one point in my early 20s, I was hospitalized multiple times for major dehydration and electrolyte imbalance due to bulimia. After a final near death experience, I decided that recovery was my only option. Since then a lot has happened, and although I’ve had small relapses in my recovery since 2014, I am healthy, happy and proud of the person I am today. I have a wonderful partner of 4 years, a job that allows me to be creative while helping others, a dog I’m obsessed with, and a life of adventures big and small. I still struggle with anxiety and depression, but I manage these things well with therapy, exercise, and a mostly balanced life. For the last several years, I’ve worked primarily lower paying jobs in education and the non-profit space. While I don’t make much, I’ve worked hard to save a humble amount money, and I’m in a better place than ever financially.

My new job has afforded me with dental insurance, and this summer I went to the dentist for the first time in a couple years (didn’t have dental insurance prior to that).

After a thorough exam with my new dentist, I learned that several extensive procedures would be needed ASAP to avoid losing multiple teeth. This is due to prior damage to my teeth resulting from the years I struggled with an eating disorder. The total cost of the essential procedures is well over $10,000, with additional preventative care totaling additional $18,000. My dental insurance will only pay for $1000 worth of work annually, so the rest of that tab is on me.

When my dentist went over this information with me, I couldn’t help but crumble into tears. The overwhelm, shame, and hopelessness took over. My dentist was lovely and kind, and explained how we could break the treatment into chunks to lessen the financial blow. Still, I need a minimum of $10,000 worth of dental work ASAP to ensure I don’t lose any more teeth (I’ve already lost 3). I currently work for a nonprofit, and I have three side hustles. I have student loans, rent, a car payment and still I manage to put money in savings monthly, but it would take me years to pay for the dental work needed using those savings. I’ve looked into personal medical/dental loans and only qualify for ones with a 25% interest rate, so that option is off the table.

I’ve booked the first set of procedures with my dentist (totaling ~ $2,500) and will be using savings money to pay for that. I need a plan for how to get the rest of the essential care needed. This entire experience has thrust me into a familiar spiral of shame, self disgust, and sadness similar to what I dealt with early in my recovery when healing from health issues resulting from my eating disorder. I’ve worked so hard to overcome those health issues, while also trying to heal from the trauma that caused my eating disorder. I know I need to think creatively, ask for help, but the shame and feelings of self disgust have me frozen in that regard. How can I find a creative solution to this problem, (which at its heart is just a financial issue but feels so much bigger than that)? How can I view myself with kindness despite the shame and regret I feel over harming myself for so many years? I know your ingenuity and positivity can illuminate resolutions I may not be able to see right now.

Thank you,

Anna

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