IVF Help and Support
Donation protected
My name is Lynda and my husband's name is Jose.
How do I start this? COVID sucks. It sucked the life out of people, literally and figuratively. It sucked the everyday routine of people's lives. It sucked the hopes of couples who wanted to try to at least have one child.
I am 37 years old. I can't have more kids. But there's a reason for it. Actually, there are quite a few reasons behind it.
Here is the timeline of events:
Medically, I had complications with my youngest during my pregnancy in 2008. After I had my 1st son in 2006, my doctor discovered precancerous cells to cervical cancer in 2007. My doctor had to perform a LEEP surgery to help remove part of the infected cervix. My doctor and I hoped that I wouldn't get pregnant soon after because we needed my body to heal. That did not happen. Not even a year later, we found out I was pregnant again. I wasn't happy about it. I love him a lot because he's my child. I wasn't happy that I didn't give my body enough time to heal.
During my pregnancy with my youngest, my cervix started thinning quickly. I believe it's because my body didn't heal in the appropriate time like I wanted. I had to leave on maternity leave at 7 months pregnant. My doctor was afraid I'll have my youngest, Colt, too early and he will be a premature baby. He was afraid the baby would come out on the shopping floor out of nowhere. At the checkups, the cervix was not slowing down on thinning. So, my doctor put me in complete bed rest. All I can do is work with my hands. Nothing else. If I get up to walk, it's only to the bathroom. I finally had him in November 2008.
However, I discussed with my doctor I would like to have the Essure because I did not want any more kids with my ex-husband. You would think it was because of the complications with my cervix, but it isn't. As of today, my cervix is healthy.
On the day I was supposed to have the Essure, only one wire was inserted in my right fallopian tube. The one on the left could not take. After 3 months in 2009, I had a check-up with radiology. The one on the right successfully took. But the left side showed no leak from the dye to the ovary from the tube, rather...it was outside the tube. My doctor has his beliefs that it may not have fully formed when I was a fetus. But that's an assumption. He told me that if I do get pregnant from that side, it may be a tubal baby. If that was the case, to save my life, the fetus will have to be removed. I still had a 15% chance (give or take) of getting pregnant.
Over the years since 2009, I did not get pregnant even when I thought I was. A few years later, my ex-husband and I divorced.
I didn't plan on remarrying. I only plan to date or have a relationship with a divorced dad. Because I know I couldn't have any more children. I should've known that was a deal-breaker for some. But then...
I met my current husband, Jose. I was only looking into dating. Nothing too serious. I didn't want to remarry. I actually believe marriage is a sham. Why? Why would I put myself through that again? It's not good for my kids and it's not good for me. But then...here comes this man unexpectedly. It was like a STOP sign that came out of nowhere and just backhand slap me in the face. I fell for him...hard. And he fell for me. Within two weeks of dating, I told him my baggage. My kids, my ex-husband, even the fact I can't have any more kids. He listened and didn't judge. All he said was, "That's not enough to scare me away."
I really had to talk to him about the no kids thing. I told him there might be a chance, but it's slim. To him, a chance is a chance. Every now and then, he would drop hints indirectly to me "If I had a kid." That's all he would say. But, it only happens after he posts a picture of a dad and kid. Or it could be where he comments on another friend's post. And it's the same thing "If I had a kid." We had family members who asked when he's going to give them a baby. Or, friends who asked if he's going to have a baby. Deep down, it made me depressed.
After about 2.5 years, we talked about a fertility clinic. But first, I wanted to talk to my doctor about it. I had visited my doctor last year and after an exam, he stated that my body and uterus are healthy to carry a baby. He also stated that if I really want to have another baby, I will need to go to a fertility clinic.
I researched and found this clinic in Atlanta as the best low-cost option. I told Jose about it and we had planned on going forward. I had even set up an appointment with the clinic back in November 2019. But then, Jose had lost his job. The money we had put away for the consultation had to go into bills.
We talked about rescheduling, but we had hoped for the beginning of May. The reason is because I coach girls' soccer and we thought it was best to reschedule for an appointment when the season is over. But then, COVID happened. It turned our world upside down. Jose had found a job delivering for Amazon mid-November. He is still working for Amazon. I am a teacher and I have been home with my youngest. My oldest daughter lives with her grandparents, and my oldest son lives with his dad. .
We had it all planned out. Use May and the summer months to go through the consultations, exams, and IVF. We really hoped for this. But this pandemic made it harder for us. We want to try to have a baby. We want to go through the process. It didn't matter to us that we have to drive about an hour and a half to the clinic. We are willing to put forth the effort. As long as we can have one child. One child to complete our family. My youngest wants us to have one so he can be the big brother and not the youngest anymore.
Jose is the oldest child of 7. He is the firstborn son. He and his parents are traditional. So, of course, he wants to have his own. He wants to learn what it is to be a dad with an infant. He's currently learning how to be a husband and a dad to a pre-teen! I'm his first, and hopefully only, marriage. He's 34 and he's learning something new about family life every day. But to be a dad to a baby is something he wants to experience. He's currently being a dad to an 11-year-old. He knows how to be a dad to an older child, just not the diaper changing part. He helped out his parents with his younger siblings, so in a way, he has experience. But not with his own. COVID ruined our plans to go forward with IVF. We want to have a chance at this. I'm not getting any younger, and my doctor said time is running out for me to carry a baby. We want to move forward. If we achieve this, we would be the most happiest couple in our little town in Northwest Georgia.
Eventually, we finally went to a couple of consultations about getting pregnant. The doctor gave me a rude awakening. The Essure.
1- A tip of the Essure is "dangling" inside my uterus. If I do get pregnant, the Essure can rupture the amniotic fluid sac and cause me to go into premature labor.
2- The Essure is made with 2 different metals, one being Nickel. It's slowly poisoning me for the last 11 years. I had symptoms of pelvic pain, joint pain, being lethargic, etc., from the results of Nickel in my system.
The doctor explained that I must have the Essure surgically removed in order to have a better quality of life and a safe pregnancy.
As I stated before, I am a teacher (and we don't get paid enough!) and Jose is working through the pandemic delivering for Amazon with limited hours. Yes, you read that right. He only works 3 days a week, a total of MAYBE 30 hours at best. What we earn is enough to cover our monthly expenses.
The funding we're asking is to cover the surgery I have to have and the cost of IVF. This does not include the cost of medicine, which is up to $15k by itself (depressingly crying).
Please donate and support us any way you can. I was told the longer I wait, the more high risk I cannot have a baby. We don't want to go through a surrogate because my uterus is still healthy to carry a baby. And a surrogate can cost much more than what I'm asking.
And besides, who wouldn't want to see a little Mexicanese baby?
How do I start this? COVID sucks. It sucked the life out of people, literally and figuratively. It sucked the everyday routine of people's lives. It sucked the hopes of couples who wanted to try to at least have one child.
I am 37 years old. I can't have more kids. But there's a reason for it. Actually, there are quite a few reasons behind it.
Here is the timeline of events:
Medically, I had complications with my youngest during my pregnancy in 2008. After I had my 1st son in 2006, my doctor discovered precancerous cells to cervical cancer in 2007. My doctor had to perform a LEEP surgery to help remove part of the infected cervix. My doctor and I hoped that I wouldn't get pregnant soon after because we needed my body to heal. That did not happen. Not even a year later, we found out I was pregnant again. I wasn't happy about it. I love him a lot because he's my child. I wasn't happy that I didn't give my body enough time to heal.
During my pregnancy with my youngest, my cervix started thinning quickly. I believe it's because my body didn't heal in the appropriate time like I wanted. I had to leave on maternity leave at 7 months pregnant. My doctor was afraid I'll have my youngest, Colt, too early and he will be a premature baby. He was afraid the baby would come out on the shopping floor out of nowhere. At the checkups, the cervix was not slowing down on thinning. So, my doctor put me in complete bed rest. All I can do is work with my hands. Nothing else. If I get up to walk, it's only to the bathroom. I finally had him in November 2008.
However, I discussed with my doctor I would like to have the Essure because I did not want any more kids with my ex-husband. You would think it was because of the complications with my cervix, but it isn't. As of today, my cervix is healthy.
On the day I was supposed to have the Essure, only one wire was inserted in my right fallopian tube. The one on the left could not take. After 3 months in 2009, I had a check-up with radiology. The one on the right successfully took. But the left side showed no leak from the dye to the ovary from the tube, rather...it was outside the tube. My doctor has his beliefs that it may not have fully formed when I was a fetus. But that's an assumption. He told me that if I do get pregnant from that side, it may be a tubal baby. If that was the case, to save my life, the fetus will have to be removed. I still had a 15% chance (give or take) of getting pregnant.
Over the years since 2009, I did not get pregnant even when I thought I was. A few years later, my ex-husband and I divorced.
I didn't plan on remarrying. I only plan to date or have a relationship with a divorced dad. Because I know I couldn't have any more children. I should've known that was a deal-breaker for some. But then...
I met my current husband, Jose. I was only looking into dating. Nothing too serious. I didn't want to remarry. I actually believe marriage is a sham. Why? Why would I put myself through that again? It's not good for my kids and it's not good for me. But then...here comes this man unexpectedly. It was like a STOP sign that came out of nowhere and just backhand slap me in the face. I fell for him...hard. And he fell for me. Within two weeks of dating, I told him my baggage. My kids, my ex-husband, even the fact I can't have any more kids. He listened and didn't judge. All he said was, "That's not enough to scare me away."
I really had to talk to him about the no kids thing. I told him there might be a chance, but it's slim. To him, a chance is a chance. Every now and then, he would drop hints indirectly to me "If I had a kid." That's all he would say. But, it only happens after he posts a picture of a dad and kid. Or it could be where he comments on another friend's post. And it's the same thing "If I had a kid." We had family members who asked when he's going to give them a baby. Or, friends who asked if he's going to have a baby. Deep down, it made me depressed.
After about 2.5 years, we talked about a fertility clinic. But first, I wanted to talk to my doctor about it. I had visited my doctor last year and after an exam, he stated that my body and uterus are healthy to carry a baby. He also stated that if I really want to have another baby, I will need to go to a fertility clinic.
I researched and found this clinic in Atlanta as the best low-cost option. I told Jose about it and we had planned on going forward. I had even set up an appointment with the clinic back in November 2019. But then, Jose had lost his job. The money we had put away for the consultation had to go into bills.
We talked about rescheduling, but we had hoped for the beginning of May. The reason is because I coach girls' soccer and we thought it was best to reschedule for an appointment when the season is over. But then, COVID happened. It turned our world upside down. Jose had found a job delivering for Amazon mid-November. He is still working for Amazon. I am a teacher and I have been home with my youngest. My oldest daughter lives with her grandparents, and my oldest son lives with his dad. .
We had it all planned out. Use May and the summer months to go through the consultations, exams, and IVF. We really hoped for this. But this pandemic made it harder for us. We want to try to have a baby. We want to go through the process. It didn't matter to us that we have to drive about an hour and a half to the clinic. We are willing to put forth the effort. As long as we can have one child. One child to complete our family. My youngest wants us to have one so he can be the big brother and not the youngest anymore.
Jose is the oldest child of 7. He is the firstborn son. He and his parents are traditional. So, of course, he wants to have his own. He wants to learn what it is to be a dad with an infant. He's currently learning how to be a husband and a dad to a pre-teen! I'm his first, and hopefully only, marriage. He's 34 and he's learning something new about family life every day. But to be a dad to a baby is something he wants to experience. He's currently being a dad to an 11-year-old. He knows how to be a dad to an older child, just not the diaper changing part. He helped out his parents with his younger siblings, so in a way, he has experience. But not with his own. COVID ruined our plans to go forward with IVF. We want to have a chance at this. I'm not getting any younger, and my doctor said time is running out for me to carry a baby. We want to move forward. If we achieve this, we would be the most happiest couple in our little town in Northwest Georgia.
Eventually, we finally went to a couple of consultations about getting pregnant. The doctor gave me a rude awakening. The Essure.
1- A tip of the Essure is "dangling" inside my uterus. If I do get pregnant, the Essure can rupture the amniotic fluid sac and cause me to go into premature labor.
2- The Essure is made with 2 different metals, one being Nickel. It's slowly poisoning me for the last 11 years. I had symptoms of pelvic pain, joint pain, being lethargic, etc., from the results of Nickel in my system.
The doctor explained that I must have the Essure surgically removed in order to have a better quality of life and a safe pregnancy.
As I stated before, I am a teacher (and we don't get paid enough!) and Jose is working through the pandemic delivering for Amazon with limited hours. Yes, you read that right. He only works 3 days a week, a total of MAYBE 30 hours at best. What we earn is enough to cover our monthly expenses.
The funding we're asking is to cover the surgery I have to have and the cost of IVF. This does not include the cost of medicine, which is up to $15k by itself (depressingly crying).
Please donate and support us any way you can. I was told the longer I wait, the more high risk I cannot have a baby. We don't want to go through a surrogate because my uterus is still healthy to carry a baby. And a surrogate can cost much more than what I'm asking.
And besides, who wouldn't want to see a little Mexicanese baby?
Organizer
Lynda Le Hernandez
Organizer
Dalton, GA