Aubrey's Cancer & Tom's Wreck : Needed Expenses

12/2023 UPDATE:

Happy Holidays to everyone. It has been a long while since we have given any update, and I wanted to take a moment to do so.

The questions I get most from people are, “How is Aubrey?” followed by, “How are you?”

Here is the best answer I have at the moment: Aubrey and I are both as good and well as we can be, and are both working at healing and recovering from the ordeals that we have both faced, both individually and as a couple. Neither one of us are “strong” or a “warrior,” or any of the other wonderful things people say. We both wish we were, but the reality is that we are just doing what we can day-to-day to try to make our life as good as possible. Frequently, we don’t succeed.

Healing and recovery mean different things now than they used to. Prior to the last 2-3 years, I think we both considered “healing” and “recovering” as the process of getting back to where we started before something happened. These days it feels more like the challenge is to simply be as good as it CAN be at any time, realizing that you can’t go BACK, only forward.

So with that in mind:

Aubrey continues to recover and heal from her active cancer treatments. She is on some long-term medications to reduce the chance of recurrence of her breast cancer. These have their own significant side effects that she has discussed in previous updates.

The toll of the surgeries and cancer treatments have had some lasting impacts. The physical things that we take for granted like strength and energy, energy reserves, etc. are simply… less. Other things are impacted as well, emotional energy, memory, etc. It makes for challenging day-to-day life, but like I said before - we try to be as well as we CAN be at any given time. This is honestly the main reason that Aubrey hasn’t posted any updates for so long. The task of sitting down and taking stock of everything that is right and wrong is quite emotionally draining, and hasn’t been an emotional place that Aubrey has wanted to put herself in.

I am also continuing to recover and heal from my wreck last October. I’ve come to the realization that the injuries I thought were the worst are proving to be less troublesome in my day-to-day life (though the ribs do still affect my sleep and the shoulder fatigues quickly), and the injury I thought was the least important (my broken thumb) has turned into severe, erosive, post-trauma arthritis (The kind where the doctor walks into the room and says “I have some bad news”). This arthritis impacts my ability to work with my hands to the level I always have. In addition to work, anything that uses my left hand is affected (can’t play the guitar without pain, etc.) So for me, I am as good as I CAN be, but there is no going BACK to just being “healthy.” It’s just a thing that I’ll have to deal with, as it changes day-to-day. And as long as I am being honest, I’m also struggling with some memory issues and depression. Maybe from lack of good sleep? Who knows?

Regardless of where we are physically, mentally, emotionally, we both remain thankful to be here and able to go through life day-to-day. We recently hosted a small holiday party here and it was a blast. After years of being forced to not have even the OPTION of celebrating the holidays, we decided to do as much as we could with what we had. With some decorations from the attic, and some donations of old decorations from friends, we are pretty pleased with the way our holiday looks and feels this year! It is fantastic to be well enough to get to celebrate with friends again. We have both missed that sense of camaraderie and connection.

As far as finances…. Yes there is very much still a need.

Aubrey can’t work as much as she used to. I can’t work like I used to. And my business is still trying to catch up from months of being closed. So if you feel compelled to do so, we certainly appreciate any and all help. Basically, I think we just both got tired of asking. It's really demoralizing for us.

We are both, as always, so grateful for the people in our lives who have given emotional, physical, spiritual, and financial support. Please know that we love and appreciate each and every one of you.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/aubreys-cancer-medical-living-expense-help

11/2022 Updated Goals: We felt like maybe life would return to "normal". Aubrey completed her active treatments several months ago and we have just been dealing with the limitations of her recovery. It's brutal, and she is exhausted but life goes on. We were planning our first trip to see family in years. Then last Thursday morning...

I own a vintage motorcycle that has been my emotional support animal through all of this cancer journey and other pitfalls of life. It's the best therapy I could find. I took it out Thursday morning before work to see how it was running. I left our home on Melvin Drive, turned left on Holsted, then right on Azure. A nice gentle ride to the stop sign, then right on Cason Trail toward St. Andrews. I was only going a mile or two and I was already headed home. Just a quick trip around the block. I noticed a jogger, and a lady walking her black and white dog. I thought to myself "What a beautiful day, everyone is outside..."

Then I regained consciousness for a few moments in an ambulance, another few moments in a trauma room at the hospital. A driver had pulled out onto me from a side street (Lisburn). Hitting me and my bike. The accident broke 10 (I think that’s the number everyone finally agreed on) of my ribs on the right side in the back. I had a partially collapsed lung, a pneumothorax, a broken left thumb, and lots of other consequential bruises, etc. I spent 7 days in the hospital and I had 2 surgeries. I have 3 ribs "plated" with Titanium now. The pain was indescribable the first couple of days. If you had offered to shoot me, I would've accepted. I’m still suffering pain, but nothing like the first two days! I have months of recovery ahead.

I've spent almost the last 2 years as a caregiver for my Aubrey. It's a tough job and nothing I wish on anyone. Now sadly, even as Aubrey is still struggling with energy and stamina issues from aggressive cancer treatment, she is in the unenviable position of being MY caregiver. I can't sleep in a bed or really rise to a standing position easily, I can’t shower by myself. It's really difficult. I'll hopefully heal over several weeks and she can go back to taking care of herself, and I can go back to taking care of her.. The disruption to our lives will last much longer.

My business will suffer drastically. Only a little time will tell how that will turn out. Please pray for Aubrey. Pray for me. Pray for our mental, physical, and financial well-being.

Thank you all, and we love you. And THANK YOU AUBREY for taking care of me! I Love you!

We haven’t actually ASKED for financial aid in a while. It isn't very comfortable. But now is a time when we can once again really use the assistance. My income is $0 while I am not at work since I own the business.

3/2021 Original Fundraiser:

We found out that my wife Aubrey has breast cancer. It's all moving very quickly so much so that they are planning a double mastectomy at the end of April. After that she will start treatment (currently planning chemotherapy pending more test results) in a couple/few weeks. We're still waiting on MORE test results so I can't answer questions now regarding prognosis or really anything...

2021 started with a fire. That was followed the next week by a trip to the Emergency Room for Aubrey (unrelated to the cancer and as yet unresolved). While dealing with tests and trying to get a diagnosis for that issue, a mammogram was ordered which was concerning. That was followed by more mammogram, ultrasound, tests, much stress, worry, planning, doctors, scans, biosies, etc, etc, etc.... And it seems that it is only going to get more difficult as she moves into treatment.

This will be especially fun financially. Aubrey is half of our income and she will be unable to work as much (if at all) at times. Meanwhile, I will need to basically double my income to make up the difference while also taking care of her.. So to say I am worried is an understatement.

And you thought 2020 was a nightmare...

We appreciate your pennies and your prayers.

CARINGBRIDGE (For current medical information): https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/aubreyblizzard/journal