Donate A Cuddle Cot - Ayda Lane & Remi Love

Hi everyone,

In loving memory of our beautiful girls, Ayda and Remi, we are hoping to raise enough money to buy the forget me not suite at Stoke hospital, where our girls were born, another cuddle cot.

Ayda Lane and Remi Love

Up until the 22nd February I had a fairly straight forward pregnancy. Apart from the relentless morning sickness and a few little scares, which were quickly put to rest by last minute private scans. I was healthy and my girls were healthy.

On the 15th February we had our gender scan, we rushed home to open the two envelopes filled with pink confetti. We didn’t know that that day, filled with so much love, would be the last we’d ever hear two healthy heartbeats.

On the 22nd February I went into early labour. Ayda was born at 8:20pm, followed by Remi at 2:15am. Both born sleeping.

We won’t know why this happened until we get our test results back, maybe something went wrong or maybe life just had other plans for us.

Instead of planning for our girls future, we’re trying to navigate parenting without having two beautiful girls here to tuck into bed every night. Something that no one ever prepares you for and unfortunately there isn’t a straight forward manual on how to be a mummy and daddy in these situations.

The Cuddle Cot and the Forget me not suite

What is a Cuddle Cot?

A CuddleCot is a small, portable, lightweight unit that enables families experiencing the loss of their baby at any age or gestation to spend more time with them and enables more time to create memories.

The cuddle cot has enabled us to have our girls home with us, every second up until the funeral. 12 days to be exact. 12 days full of walks, bed time stories, cuddles and lifelong memories that otherwise wouldn’t have been possible.

Ayda and Remi have spent every second exactly where they should be, home.

There are no words to express how grateful we are to have this time with our girls and how grateful we are for the care and empathy that we were shown on the forget me not suite.

I wish I could give every midwife that helped us a big cuddle, thank you.

Hospitals often only have a few, if not one of these cuddle cots, meaning another family may not have had the opportunity we have. So in loving memory of our kind, brave girls we hope to donate another one.

We don’t have an exact cost for this yet, we just know that it is in the region of £1,700. Our goal will be adjusted accordingly once we find out.

We sincerely appreciate every donation.

A letter to Ayda and Remi, from mummy.

My Ayda and Rem, my biggest blessings and my two little sidekicks. Here’s a letter I never expected I’d have to write.

I hope the time you spent in my tummy was comfortable. I hope you enjoyed our bump playlist that I played every day, over and over, in the hopes you would be born really liking fleetwood mac. I think they would of been Ayda’s favourite. I hope you know that baths suddenly became my favourite part of the day when I was pregnant, because that was our time together. And baths seem really lonely now without you.

I had so many dreams for you, my two little girls. I have spent the past five months imagining who you will grow up to be. I find myself getting caught up in these thoughts and untangling myself from them. Life had other plans for us. I’ll never hear you say mummy or have you come home crying because one of you has grazed your knee. But I do know that you would have been kind, with the biggest of hearts. You would have been bold, never afraid to speak for what you believed in. And I’m taking a guess here, but at least one of you would have inherited my awful timing for jokes. Probably Remi.

Thank you for giving me the strength I have needed. Thank you for the happiest months of my life. And thank you for choosing me to be your mummy.

I’m not quite sure how I could fit everything I want to tell you into this little letter and I don’t think I need to, because I’ll tell you both every day for the rest of my life, just between us. But just know that I love you to the moon and back. Today, tomorrow and all of the tomorrow’s after that.

Everything I do is for you.

Love, mummy x