Baba Yaga & the Talbots

Babayaga is a 5 year old domestic tabby we adopted after I’d grieved the loss of my 9 year old maine coon Atlas when he went missing two weeks after the birth of my youngest son.

Losing Atlas threw me into such a deep depressive episode it was easier to call it post partum so people wouldn’t ask questions.

but really, what even I wasn’t able to see at the time, was Atlas had been one of the only emotional caregivers I’d ever had - and was there for me while i went through the deepest parts of my alcoholism and love for abusive relationships.

Atlas gave me reason to keep getting up and out of bed when I’d run out of reasons to get up for myself. Losing him after the birth of my last son felt like he was letting me go- it was time for me to learn to take care of myself so I could teach my son’s how to.

naturally there was no way I was going to adopt a cat for a while after that- I think I said I never would. I just grieved.

until one night my husband and I went on a date to see John Wick 3 (duh) and stopped at a Petsmart in Arvada, Colorado where I started crying in the back of the store uncontrollably about something unrelated to animals I’m sure, because I was sad about everything.

but thats the night we met Bob. Baba Yaga.

John Wick 3, tysm.

He looked just like Atlas. I held him and just cried. kyle got really beautiful pictures of our meeting.

I met him and left him and sat through the phenomenal cinematic masterpiece that is John Wick 3- but afterward my mind went straight to the cat.

We came back the next day and adopted him. and shortly after when i once again heard the sound of cat footfalls on a wood floor- The atlas hole wasn’t filled by any means but Baba Yaga was here now and suddenly my heart knew a bit of Atlas was, too.

when we moved back to Kansas City hoping for family and gettin kicked in the taint, we had one vet diagnose bob on his annual check up with really severe periodontal disease and recommended thousands of dollars of work - he was 3 and never had issues so we got a second opinion. to this vet, his corneal issues and swelling seemed to be allergy related. in February 2022 Bob’s eye swelled up like it did at the beginning of this debacle but again we were told, allergies corneal issues pink eye- he was given a huge dose of antibiotics and he was fine in two days

I will admit in the last year because of life circumstances I have not taken him in and that is hurting me deeply right now.

but Bob was up and fine the other day- sneaking outside to eat grass and fight the neighbor cats.

right now Bob right now is on IV fluids anti-nausea medication and hasnt eaten in going on 4 days - his eye pressure is raised in the vet is not sure if he has a dental root abscess or some kind of metastatic disease process or tumorus growths secondary to end-stage renal failure but we have to get enough fluids in him to see if his current kidney failure (creatinine 15 ) is related to the infection or a dental root abscess- or he’s has kidney disease that we didn’t detect and is now in irreversible kidney failure.

he is currently being kept at a vet on IV fluids, anti-inflammatories, and anti-nausea meds. I have no idea how much this is going to cost. I said 3000 because we’ve already gone in 800 and the price of pulling a tooth alone because it’s the canine is $300. We’re not even talking anesthesia, x-rays antibiotics, a periodontal cleaning. its bad.

They are being incredibly compassionate especially because he is so young - the sweet Dr. P cried on the phone with me saying this should not be happening to a baby boy.

The plan for now is to spend the next two days trying to get Bob to a place where he could survive the anesthesia necessary to diagnose what’s going on by encouraging fluids either by IV or subcutaneously continuing antibiotic treatment- trying to encourage food- and check his blood levels again to see if he can go under anesthesia

If you went under anesthesia right now, he would not survive.

He’s only five. My sons and I are shocked and so sad. But we also know that there is a risk in loving and that it is worth it every time.

Help us if you can- frankly our family has been fighting an uphill battle for the three years since we moved back to KC. confronting and healing trauma is hard- unpopular- expensive- unattractive- and expensive.

we’ve sold our beloved home because in order to prioritize the counseling our family needs (husband and i both have to go- & two sons are on their own healing journeys but my husband and I have been so stressed an isolated here We haven’t even been able to see each other.)

so we can no longer afford mortgage that was no problem for us moving from Colorado but being self-employed, traumatized, and in 100% commission sales during a pandemic and then a recession is tough.

my husband’s new career in real estate- is blooming he has a Kansas city YouTube channel @movingtokc that is experiencing awesome success, I’m beginning to dream of what financial independence could look like for me now that I’m not a full-time mother or depressed chronically ill person- needing the acceptance of my family of origin so bad I go blind to the needs of my own… but nothing is moving fast enough on the financial front so we’ve been backed into a corner.

I’m blown away that this whole crazy internet kismet journey took off - because now suddenly it feels like theres a whole community of people capable of seeing me in ways I’ve been begging to be seen for years by others, and my family of origin- and you all are here saying it’s OK to ask for help. So I think that’s what I’m doing.

it just feels like the earth below us keeps crumbling faster than we can imagine the shape of a new foundation. it’s taken a massive toll on our family and relationships- most especially our marriage.

I want to insert a disclaimer about how difficult it is asking for financial help- but I think you guys get it and we need it.

any help you can give us toward the vet bill, our counseling, mortgage, a vacation on a beach with my boys … is so appreciated.

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so i said I’m not one to ask for help but now I’ve written a novel.

we haven’t had health insurance for ourselves, let alone our animals for the last 3 years- and I’m feeling the weight right now of not only the neglect of myself, but of the other things Im meant to care for and it sucks.

thanks for letting me write, vent, process, grieve and share what I know is not a unique experience- times get tough, and they surely will again.

trying to see and hold what feels like a mountain range of losses surrounding us right now- while keep enough of myself aside to remember the sun will rise again.

thanks for reading my novel.

I really do love you. Like the girl in V for vendetta. I may not know you, but I love you anyway.

save baba yaga. and maybe my family.