Baby Turks 2024

I honestly don’t know where to start other than, infertility sucks. So many people experience it these days, but it is a heartbreaking journey and one that doesn’t always end in success. I will keep this as short as I can, but we want to explain why we are asking for help.

This November is Mark’s and my 10-year Wedding Anniversary, and for 10 years we have been trying to start a family. After 2 years of having positive pregnancy tests only to have them fail, we turned to IVF for answers, and we have been actively doing IVF procedures now for the past 8 years.

After our first initial tests, we discovered I have what is called a balanced translocation in my chromosomes. We were told not to stress about it as thousands of people carry genetic translocations and go on to have children. It is inherited from either parent, and it would have been passed onto them through the generations. With IVF we could test our embryo’s and find ones that are balanced and have them transferred to stop the chances of a failed pregnancy.

With this amazing news we went ahead.

The first cycle failed, we thought ok, bad luck, let’s try again. Second cycle failed. This went on for a total of 4 cycles before we started to look for more answers. We changed specialist. He did a simple blood test only to discover that I also have what is called NK Cells (Natural Killer Cells) which would attack embryo’s and give them no chance of surviving. I would need to supress my immune system to ‘switch off’ these cells to give us the best chance of success. We followed through with the treatment, did another cycle, only to have this fail.

IVF is not regulated in Australia which means that each specialist and clinic can pick and choose what they test for. I have met patients that have tried for 10 years only to find out that they are not compatible and that it was never going to work. It’s only as you go along on this journey that you learn more and more about the process. You put so much trust into these people to guide you to the desired outcome. I was not only doing IVF but also assisted techniques such as Acupuncture, Chinese Medicine and seeing a Naturopath to help support my body during these cycles and still, we had no luck.

Mark and I have also looked at and considered, adoption and fostering, but if you investigate the Australian laws and programs around these, they are a red tape nightmare, which is super frustrating when so many children are just wanting someone to love them. If you want to adopt you can’t be older than 35 as it’s a 5–7-year process, then you are deemed too old. Just ridiculous.

Given that we had now done 5 embryo transfers, which had all been genetically tested but still failed, we asked what our next option was, and we were told, egg donor.

Australia does not have egg donor programs or egg banks like overseas, sperm yes, eggs no. It is illegal in Australia to receive money for egg donations which means you need to know someone who is willing to donate, and they also need to meet a strict criterion. Since we didn't know anyone who met the criteria (donors also have to be under the age of 35) we made the decision to head overseas.

We travelled to Europe to a clinic our specialist at the time recommended to us. To give you the short version, it went something like this: Covid hit, got a travel exemption on medical grounds, went to advised clinic, got low grade eggs, had 2 failed transfers, got stranded in Europe for 3 months regardless of the fact that we were given an exemption, ended up on a repatriation flight after going through hell and spent Christmas of 2020 and New Year in hotel quarantine. Now, some people might think we were mad to go in the first place but given that we had permission from our own government, we never envisioned what transpired. At the time we were thinking – How long does a pandemic last? 1,2,3 years? We didn’t want to risk taking this long to wait and find out and start our family, so we went.

During the pandemic, one Melbourne fertility specialist Dr Lynn Burmeister was busy pushing the government to allow eggs to be brought into Australia as hundreds of her patients had been in the same boat as us and unable to pursue treatment. A deal was finally made, and the government allowed a program to commence with one overseas country and we were put on a list to start treatment in the coming months. Happy that we had a plan we went about life as normal. Come February 24th, 2022, our world stopped again. The country that the government had granted permission to host the program had just broken out into war (I can't mention the country by name as Go Fund me is blocking and reviewing any posts when it is mentioned). The program was stopped. When we inquired if a new program would be considered by the government with another country, we were told it would be another 4-5 year wait as they fought the red tape again.

2023 came around and my beautiful sister offered to be our egg donor, having had a child herself the year before she now fit the criteria for a known egg donor. This month we did an IVF cycle with my sister. For genetic testing to be done, the embryos must survive 5 days growing in an incubator so that they reach what is called blastocyst stage. Each day the embryologists would call and give us an update and each day the numbers dropped. We received a call to say the last 5 eggs on day 5 did not survive and that the treatment had come to an end. My sister also has a genetic chromosomal translocation. Heartbreaking not only for us that the cycle failed but also for my poor sister who was trying to gift us the biggest gift anyone could possibly give. She has now been deemed an unsuitable donor. Her daughter is a little miracle, and our family is blessed to have her. We love Mikaela so much for trying to help us.

After being on this merry go round for so long it’s bloody hard to stay positive. Mark and I promised each other at the start that we wouldn’t lose ourselves in this process and that we would continue to have holidays and live our lives and we would and not let IVF become all consuming. We have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on treatment, I have put my body through hell, but you can’t put a price on having a child. It’s easy to see how this can end marriages. We have stayed strong for each other, and our love has only grown as we have faced each hurdle together and made decisions together and navigated this long and hard road, together. Rivers of tears have been shed, it doesn’t get easier each time, in fact, it’s the opposite. What comes so naturally to others, has become a Mount Everest for us.

We just want a child to love.

So, the last hoorah, the reason we are reaching out to all of you, is to help us have one last go at making our dream a reality. Under the guidance of our specialist in Sydney, Dr Gavin Sacks, we are looking to travel to Hawaii to access a boutique donor egg clinic that has a success rate of 80% resulting in pregnancy. The eggs are high grade hence the success rate. The program is expensive, but we are willing to make sacrifices to have this one last shot. We are covering the cost of the program, but we are looking for donations to go towards our flights, 2 weeks accommodation during treatment and pre and post procedures.

We never expected to be in this position, we had everything crossed that IVF with my sister was going to be a success, but we haven’t given up hope. It takes a village to raise a child and we are asking our village to help us create one and make our 10-year dream come true. Any contribution is a blessing, and we thank you in advance. We hope and pray that baby Turk’s can be welcomed in 2024.

If you or anyone you know also suffers from infertility and would like to chat, please feel free to message Mark or I privately. It is such a hard journey but please know that you are not alone.

With love and heartfelt Thanks, Mark & Rachelle xx