Because You Can't Hustle Your Way Out Of Burnout

My name is Kyla Walker, and I have, among other things, severe depression and complex PTSD that are absolutely killing me right now.

The day after my last birthday, I had a flashback that shook me to my core, and my depression meds couldn't handle it. I spent most of the next two weeks in bed until I could drop my heels, pull out of the skid I was in, and try to correct my course before the bills came due. Thankfully I have health insurance for the first time since March 2019, so getting back on my meds which had skyrocketed from $20 to $200 was finally an option.

With that in hand, I figured I'd be able to work my usual 40-50 hour week out on the road as a delivery driver. What I failed to plan for was forgetting that I'd be trying to work these hours while recovering from a burnout-induced panic attack, which I'm still struggling to do at four weeks since the breakdown. I had to take out a payday loan of $550 to have rent with enough money left over for food and gas to stay on the road for work. That loan comes due tomorrow, and I've resisted asking for help until now... but the middle of this month is going to break me.

It's not enough that the $700 for the loan is due on the 15th, I need ANOTHER $700 for the car note on the 16th and the insurance payment a few days after that. On top of all this, the car has seen better days. It needs electrical work to pass inspection, and I need to have a little bit in savings in case something happens to it and it needs repairs or I won't be able to work. (If nothing happens, I'll at least have money to put towards a cheap new used car when my current living situation changes here in a month or three.)

I wouldn't be coming here asking for help if I hadn't already made some great strides forward in getting better but I still probably won't make the bills. As I said, I got my meds adjusted in record time, and I had my initial consultation with a therapist at my sister-in-law's practice yesterday. I'm also working on getting a new job as well, so I can be less dependent on driving, like, 28,000 miles a year as I have been for the last three.

I'm setting an initial goal of $1400 to cover the loan repayment, car note, and insurance, and everything else (whether I earn it through work or this GFM) will be going into the war chest. Even five bucks will make my life a lot easier. Thank you so much for reading this.