Beloved. Bringing light to addiction and suicide deaths.

My name is Antonia Rolls and I am an artist, writer and speaker. I am asking for support in creating and hosting my new exhibition called Beloved. This is a powerful and beautiful collection of paintings and words about addiction and suicide deaths, an already dark subject that I am bringing into the light. No one dies alone.

I lost both my sons to suicide and addiction, one after the other. In the darkness of their lives and the tragedy of their deaths I saw that no matter how dark the darkness is, the light is always there. Beloved is the name I have given to those who die through suicide, addictions and overdoses, and also to those already in the light who collect our lost people to carry them back into the light. These paintings and words are about finding consolation for those lost and lonely deaths and for those of us left behind. This new collection of paintings follows on from the “Addicts And Those Who Love Them, behind every addict is someone traumatised by loving them” exhibition of portraits and words from addiction which I created to try and understand my boys’ addictions. It taught me so much, but I couldn’t save them. And this is the next part of their, my, our story. I am exploring the light that the darkness tries to blot out.

I am so lucky to have a wonderful team of three helpers. The funds are to get me, my lovely team, the paintings and all the exhibition stuff to Brighton in May and to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August. We will need to stay in both places and Edinburgh is not cheap during the Festival. I have a good arrangement with a landlady in Edinburgh for this exhibition, I just need to pay her, and she has kindly reduced the price for us. I will need help not only to create the paintings with paints and wood to work on, I need help with printing costs, poster and leaflet design, publicity, the entry fee to enter the Edinburgh Fringe and the hiring costs of the venues. And of course, the hire of a van as my paintings are very big this time – and all the travel costs for us to get to and from both Brighton and Edinburgh.

So many thanks to all of you – I hope to see you there.

Brighton Beloved – Fishing Quarter Gallery, 201 Kings Parade Arches, Brighton BN1 1NB. 19 to 25 May, opening night 19 May 6-9pm.

Edinburgh Beloved – Whitespace Gallery, 76 East Crosscauseway, Edinburgh EH8 9HQ. 2 to 13 August, opening night 2 August 6-9pm.