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Be the Change for the Best Interest of a Child

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A mom and child need your help. 

Their story is happening again and again everyday in every state as the rights of children come second to the rights of abusers.

While this particular case cannot be put directly online with names and the in depth evidence, a funding effort to help aid the mother and child anonymously, can be.

So many people have asked what they can do -- and here it is. Sadly. 

Pride aside. Tears aside. Pain and grief on levels that you could never imagine. All aside.

There's a child out there who needs your help to get home to his mom -- and this is what we can all do for one of our own, to ensure with best efforts that this child grows up stable and safe among family, friends, and community where the bonds are like no other. 

Please know how much they need your help and how much it hurts to be put in a position where this page has become a reality.  

This case involves a child who was taken from their primary parent for no valid reason and given to an abuser who has done everything possible to backdoor and manipulate through a system, furthering the abuse cycle that the mother and child left and worked hard to find fair compromise with moving forward. 

We tell women to leave abuse and when they do, they are not protected within the systems that are supposed to aid.  They are met with extensive hurdles with their rights to peace, safety with boundaries, and with quality of life -- some of the basic principles this country was founded on.  Along with these hurdles, the financial aspects that go along with family court is so disheartening that it really makes you question humanity at times. 

There is an epidemic in this country that is starting to get attention by a variety of journalists, outlets, and advocates, who are working hard to bring forth constructive change for children and families who leave abuse cycles.  

This epidemic revolves around a family court system that needs major reform in how they handle human beings (and their current needs today as well as their needs tomorrow) above legal standards that are outdated and doing more harm to society than helping as they sit now.

Abuse is dismissed in family court on a regular basis. Whether it's desensitization, the lack of education and application with what we now know as "trauma informed care," or the refusal to admit that perhaps the same old way of doing things simply isn't serving the people anymore.

Children are our future members of society. Decisions made for them today become the realities of society tomorrow. We wonder why mental health is in such crisis in this country and why domestic abuse is out of control.  

Children are being placed again and again in the hands of people who have documented mental health issues, a history of abuse, and or compromised environments. The primary care of children is being left in the hands of abusers and mentally ill individuals, over people who are healthy, stable and have played the substantial role in the raising of the child.  How do we even rationalize this?  It just doesn't pass the straight face test with humanity. If there's one thing we know about abuse, it's that it will continue to cycle when left unchecked and unaccountable. Our children deserve better and WE are the only ones who are going be the change in the world for them.  

Every single one of us in this world has a voice -- and these collective voices are the only thing that can create real change within society.  The rights of children in this country are being compromised and violated every single day and it's happening within our own court systems. Read that again until it sinks in. 

Paychecks are passed from person to person in a system that works like a machine with facilitating what is declared "the best interest of a child" standard. In the end, this standard is anything but what it states and the epidemic it's causing is quite possibly one of the greatest civil rights violations going on in our time.  

Abusers are being given custody of children, while above and beyond stable parents who have raised these children are losing their rights. It's happening everyday. It's happening in every state.  It's happening in all communities. Read that again and again and again.... 

The majority of high conflict divorces have a common denominator of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is not just physical in nature. Mental, emotional, and financial abuse are also at the forefront of the cycles and often go dismissed.

No one has a right to control other people. No one has a right to bully, intimidate, or utilize coercive control tactics to destroy other human beings inside and out. Abuse goes on every single day because we ALLOW it to as a society. We turn our blind eyes, we rationalize it as none of our business, we always assume there is some type of "tit for tat" going on. Please understand that those statements couldn't be further from the truth.  Abuse in any form is NOT OKAY.  

Abuse comes in all shapes and sizes and each is just as terroristic and destructive as any of the others. Until we get to a point in society where we refuse to tolerate this type of behavior by supporting abusers (which in turn takes away support from victims and makes it harder for them to heal, receive justice, and rebuild,) we will continue to cycle in abuse patterns that will affect each generation.

This particular mother and child are stuck in just that and they need our help.  Badly. 

Right now, the clock is ticking with a two week window to fund and file an appeal within the family court system for a case that's verdict was so egregious, that it leaves a child in jeopardy and leaves the mother crippled to a point financially that she can't fight for the rights of her child or herself.  It took everything she had to make it through three years of litigation with extensive attorney and court appointed official fees, while trying to keep life as stable as possible.  

The system is long and it's a bit broken when it comes to how the black and white allows abuse to continue throughout the process and throughout life in general.  While everyone must take responsibility for who they marry and the choices they make in life, no one deserves to have to endure continued abuse patterns once they make a decision to leave -- and no child should ever be left behind as collateral damage as if children are assets instead of living, breathing human sponges who are shaped daily through environment.  Children simply do not have the tools to handle compromised environments alone and there needs to be better education on trauma informed care within the system and within the ranks of every single person who handles a file with a child's name on it. Abuse isn't always easy to recognize, especially with children who trauma bond to their abusers more easily, and until we get trauma informed education and decision making in the hands of every Guardian Ad Litem, therapist, social worker, lawyer, judge, etc etc etc -- we are doing a disservice to the victims of domestic abuse every single day and making it harder for them to gain access to the rights of safety, peace, and quality of life that everyone is entitled to as human beings. 

This is an above and beyond mother who has always put her child before anything and everything else in her life since the day the child was born. This mother and child have a bond like no other and the separation that was decided upon by a family court is a complete violation of human rights for these individuals who have been together "stuck like glue" since day one. 

Despite the child using their own voice with their wants and their fears, custody was given to the parent who has a documented history of issues - and the above and beyond  primary parent since birth, was completely disabled and left with nothing but ruin, a violation of rights, and even more concerns overall with how this scenario could possibly even happen. It not only happened, but it's happening in every single state every single day.  Try to rationalize that.

What do you think happens to a child who grows up in an abusive or compromised environment?  This is text book common sense, yet our courts go by black and white standards and discretion that errs on the side of chancing safety with our most precious members of society.

This family deserves the true Best Interest of a Child to be upheld.  This mother has never been arrested, has no issues with drugs or alcohol, has no mental health issues, etc.  She left abuse so that her child didn't have to grow up subjected to it any longer. She did the right thing for her child and she was left with nothing but ruin.

What message are we sending victims here?  What message are we sending abusers?  What message are we sending to our children and future generations of society?  

Anyone who knows this mother and child knows what kind of parent she is, knows the life she has provided this child, and knows how this child belongs with the primary care that's been there from day one.

This family needs our help. Straight forward and simple.  

So many people have asked "what can we do?" or "how can we help."

This is how we can help, and every little bit matters as they fight for what is right for this child.

Please help if you can -- and if you can't, please remember that you can still help all people involved in situations like this by not turning a blind eye.

Become educated on the actual logistics behind domestic abuse and its strong hold on people from all walks of life.

 Become educated on how to better recognize abuse patterns within your family and friendship loops as you never truly know who is suffering in silence.  

Support victims not abusers.

Empower victims to use their voice and not be silenced.  

Abuse banks on silence. Never forget that.

If you can't donate personally to this cause that will absolutely directly make a difference for one very special and beyond well loved child who currently faces the next decade alone within abuse cycles, please donate your efforts to being the change in how you view domestic abuse and how you personally can make small changes so that we aren't so desensitized to it as a society.  Abuse exists because we allow it to -- let's stop allowing it to thrive. ...For our children, who become the future members of society. 

Please help us be the change for this mother and child if you are able to.  

Every little bit matters as they fight against the clock to file for justice with an appellate court and protect what's left of their life. 

"The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything."  -Albert Einstein 

(If you would like more education on the epidemic that children and families are facing in today's family courts, please look up the Center for Judicial Excellence online and on social media -- as well as the Stop Abuse Campaign. Education is the only thing that will truly empower change for our children.)

 

 

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  • Helen & Jimmy Manchester
    • $25
    • 5 yrs
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Be The Change
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United States, USA

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