Busted Nonbinary Artist Needs Breast Reduction!

Hi, I'm Terra, and I have a gross abnormality!

In my teen years I went from a little on the busty side to, well... massively huge. That was when I learned I have a condition known as Gigantomastia . While it may sound like something made-up to sell naughty books, sadly it is not. It is a very real and very painful condition, and it makes my life s u c k.

So, here I am, trying to raise money for a breast reduction! It is the most frequent and recommended treatment not only for my pain management but to give me a fighting chance against breast cancer. It is a major and costly surgery. 

Currently I am a size KK in bras, but that is often because it's the biggest size I can find in the store.  Custom bras are very costly and difficult for me to acquire. They are literally over 5 feet around and weigh more than this cat, each:

So why does this suck?

First, let's talk about the physical issues:

A little side story about me: I love armadillos. You wanna know why? I find them relatable because I ALSO HAVE A SHELL.  My entire back is a constant mass of knots because of the extra weight I carry. It causes pain that effects my entire body. I have TMJ issues, I have hip issues, I am unable take a deep breath correctly, even when holding them up, because those poor little muscles are crushed beneath a massive weight . And even the muscles not directly connected suffer because I am unable to sleep well and I cannot properly exercise.  My posture is getting worse as time goes on, my range of motion has fallen apart far more rapidly than it should for a person my age. There are days when I will be laid out, unable to do anything because my whole body is one massive lump 'o pain. 

And, it only gets worse from here. Spasms. Ulcers. Skin lesions. The weight of my boobs making me projectile vomit s regular basis. Hitting myself in the face with them when I'm just trying to get comfortable? Yeah. It happens a lot. Fun, fun times. 

I know that I will always be a proud, round person, but it frustrates me that I cannot properly exercise to any level that is really useful to my health. Yoga is practically pointless. Jogging? You're joking, right? But even just keeping active enough to stay fit has been impossible over the last year or two, due to the constant pain and, you know... physics.  I don't mind being fat, I do mind having a body that doesn't allow me to comfortably live and be happy.

Its also of worth note that my mother had this disease, and her back was broke where my pain is centered.  No one else in our family has it. My mother also got breast cancer at an age closer to my own than I am comfortable with. No one else in our family has had breast cancer. My breast tissue is so dense that I can't do a proper self-check and mammograms are questionable at best.  I have had genetic testing, and am confirmed to be at a high risk.

Now let's talk mental issues:

Not only is the physical pain of this disease crushing, the constant emotional turmoil is no less real and equally disruptive. The knowledge that at any point cancer could get me because my breasts are literally so big that I might have no idea until it is too late is a real and constant fear.  The lack of sleep suuuuucks, and I doubt I need to explain to you that sleep deprivation has never been good for your health. The physical pain I experience is distracting enough that it makes it mentally hard to focus, especially on long term projects.

I also identify as a non-binary individual, and while I don't mind being seen as a femme-presenting person, I have no option other than to appear AGGRESSIVELY female.  A lot of people know me as "the one with the boobs," which has caused a lot of dysphoria for me. My identity is wrapped up in my boobs. I don't love it. I have also suffered a LOT of objectification and harassment from a young age because of them. I don't ever really ever try to outwardly express my gender identity because I know getting past the boobs is not worth the energy of that fight. 

 
There's also social issues to consider:

Working is a challenge, and not just because of the pain. It will come as no surprise to hear that most employers don't love when you can't work a few random days a month due to pain that renders you immobile. I have had enough luck with employers in my past, but I have had a lot of issues too.  I'm a professional artist, and while right now I am able to work through this, and around this, without intervention, and SOON, I will be facing debilitating, unrecoverable issues. I have already lost my first career as a massage therapist.  I had to quit, not only because of pain but because they were so big that I didn't have the proper range of motion needed to preform necessary tasks for that profession.  Without treatment, I fear the loss of the career I truly love may be a real part of my future.

It is also VERY hard for me to look professional. Clothes do not often properly fit or tend to show off a REALLY inappropriate amount of cleavage for my professions (which often involve being classroom settings around children). Bras cost $50 minimum and don't often work in ways that look professional. I have gotten complaints from every job I have worked about how my chest doesn't look professional.  It's really easy to end up looking like Peggy Bundy or a slob and not a lot of room in between.  And I get it.  But I also just can't do much about it. 

Unless, of course, I can acquire $10k. 

What are the funds for?

The funds I raise will go directly towards the cost of surgery, plus added expenses for the 12 days medically recommended for my recovery.  The cost, altogether, comes to $10K in total. I will be going to Mexico, which may seem crazy because....duh my insurance will pay for this, right? This is a serious disease that's destroying my life, how could they not?!?

Well, despite multiple requests and countless doctor appointments, the answer has been a constant and resounding NO. My insurance will not cover a surgery that, under most circumstances, is considered "cosmetic." Other insurances through out my life have covered portions, but still cost more than 10K out of pocket. Hurray! I love American health care!

The $10k will cover the cost of surgery and all it's bells and whistles, including airfare and lodging for me and one caretaker (as much as I'd love Be, my wife, to come, she can't take care of me because of her own health, and we want to keep costs down as much as possible, because this is already a lot.)  While that amount is this fundraiser's goal, I also am pursuing other methods of paying for this as well (Including a kickstarter campaign for art nouveau enamel pins of busty ladies from popular culture, because I also love irony.) 10k is no small chunk of change, so I don't expect this to fully fund everything, every bit will be a blessing and help me so much.