Billie's Gender Affirming Top Surgery

Hi! My name is Billie, I’m 21 years old and in May 2023 I will be undergoing gender-affirming top surgery. My story is quite a long one but I’ll try my best to summarise it for you! I grew up on the stage, performing in ballet concerts and various dance styles since the age of 9, When I was 15 I left traditional school so that I could train full time at a ballet college and complete my school studies online. Throughout my ballet years and through adolescence, I battled mental illness and physical illness until I decided enough was enough, I gave up ballet for good at age 18. After losing such a big part of my life I began to fall deep into depression and lost all sense of my identity. I developed Anorexia and began to question my sexuality and gender identity, growing up in an environment such as the ballet world where hyper femininity gains high praise, I didn’t let myself explore these feelings outwardly for a year or so after quitting dance.

It was then a 3 year long battle against myself and the world to truly find out how I wanted to present myself and how I wanted the world to perceive me. I told myself so many times that my feelings weren’t valid because I didn’t feel as though I wanted to transition from Female to Male, I beat myself up and sabotaged any feelings of happiness without really knowing it. It wasn’t until I met a community full of diverse individuals in my city, and did further research about the gender spectrum, that I realised I was not alone. I decided to let myself explore and experiment, I wore different clothes, I tried different pronouns and I shaved my hair multiple times, I even changed my legal name! These actions showed me that I was on the right track, but I needed to do more for myself.



At the beginning of 2022 I booked a surgery consultation for top surgery, the earliest consultation was a year away but I knew that this was the next step. I really struggled all throughout 2022 with my eating disorder and my depression, I was in and out of hospital with poor health and my mind was in a very dark place because of the relentless gender dysphoria I was experiencing. Towards the end of the year I realised that my appointment was finally in sight and I was reminded by those close to me, that I would not be able to have the surgery I was seeking if I was unwell due to anorexia. I made a conscious effort to choose recovery and began to pick up the pieces of my life again.



This week I attended my surgery consultation and was met with the absolutely incredible news that I would be able to have the procedure. For someone who never even thought top surgery would be possible due to not fitting the gender binary, I was crying happy tears in the exam room because for the first time in years, I truly felt that I was in the driver’s seat of my life. I finally have the chance to live my truth and feel comfortable in my skin. I finally see the light at the end of this self-discovery tunnel. This is where I need your help, I am not one that asks for many favours but although I am working my hardest between now and my surgery date (30th May) to save as much as I can, I do need help to raise funds for the out of pocket costs that will apply.



If you have even $1 to spare I would be eternally grateful for your support in my journey to a happier, healthier life as my authentic self.

Lots of love from Billie xx