Black Panther themed funeral Zeias-Wolf
Donation protected
No parent should ever have to write this post but here we are…
Zeias-Wolf was born 11/11/2018, a happy, healthy, loving, funny & gentle boy, he lived 5 very healthy years until one day things changed.
Zeias had been complaining of migraines and sickness towards the end of September 2023, I took him to get this investigated in A&E early October and was sent home with anti-sickness tablets, no scan or follow up. I then investigated his eyes as his co-ordination was off and I was noticing him zoning out quite a lot. After going to the opticians in December an explaining his symptoms they referred us to the eye clinic, on Tuesday 19th December we attended the appointment as a general check up for his eyes, they found that his optic nerves were swollen which is caused by pressure in the brain, he was rushed for an emergency MRI and they found a ginormous brain tumour taking the right hemisphere of his brain, Zeias was a happy and healthy child even through this, still smiling, still fully functional, unaware of what was about to face him, he was at school the day before and in his uniform ready to go to school after the appointment. We were rushed to Birmingham children’s hospital later that Tuesday night where they needed to do further scans and they decided he needed an emergency surgery to effectively try to save his life, he underwent two surgeries that Friday, one to increase the fluid flow in his brain as the tumour had interfered and the other to get some for a biopsy and potentially try to take away a very small part of the tumour to relieve some of his discomfort. He went into the surgery on the 21st December and came out after 10 hours very groggy but still responsive, during the early hours of that following morning around 6am he went unresponsive and was rushed into theatre due to a major bleed on his brain from the tumours reaction to the surgery, his chances of survival were very low but he came out and was in a coma in ICU. he was in the coma for around 8 days before they started to try and wean him out of it, he was slowly waking up but due to the brain damage caused by bleed being in his central brain stem we were unsure how this would affect him, due to further tests and assessing him even though he could move his eyes and have reflexes to move his fingers etc, he developed dystonia and was still unable to move his limbs intentionally, this caused him alot of pain so they decided to put him back under sedation to keep him as comfortable as possible. Yesterday 05.01.24, his biopsy results came back & he has a Stage/grade 4 Glioma but due to his condition in ICU they are unable to carry out any treatments that have the potential to work as well as his brain injury that could leave him severely disabled for the rest of his life, unable to ever live independently if he could even survive the brain tumour. The doctors expressed that his chances of survival aren’t likely at all and that our options are to either see his potential recovery which would cause him to be in pain for the smallest chance of survival or to put him on to end of life care and allow him to pass away comfortably & turning off his oxygen.
The day before we went to the appointment that changed his life we put up and decorated the Christmas tree, after running around getting everything for Christmas and him being so excited to finally have a Christmas with his sister & he had just performed his first ever nativity a few days before, Christmas was supposed to be such a beautiful time as we were finally all together as a family, only for him to be fighting for his life over Christmas and new year. This has all happened within a span of a few weeks and now I sit here writing as I prepare his funeral, the pain cannot be contained in words, the shock or the sudden decline which I still haven’t been able to fully process.
You never ever think you would be sitting in this position having to make such a massive decision for your child, especially when three weeks ago he was smiling, running around and at school, now you’re having to make a decision on how to let your child go.
Upon deep remorse & pain I have decided that letting him pass in comfort is most important at this time, being able to try & spend the last few days/weeks with him before we say goodbye is worth more than watching him suffer only to end up eventually passing away due to the complexities & severity of his condition.
Wolf loved black panther, well most super hero’s to be honest but he believed when going into that initial surgery that he was undertaking “superhero surgery to relieve his special headaches & gain super powers” which has ultimately lead to him losing his quality of life & life in general (the surgery itself was successful but his brains reaction to it wasn’t, they did all they could’ve done, unfortunately this couldn’t have been helped)
In an attempt to make his send off as special as possible I am creating this go fund me page so that he can have a black panther themed funeral and the send of my baby deserves, the costs will go towards his funeral costs & headstone & making a memorial as beautiful as possible for my baby who’s life was ripped away from him way too soon.
We will be going to the hospice within the next few weeks & once they turn of his ventilation his passing will likely be very quick.
Words can’t explain the pain I feel, the guilt & the hurt, as a mother all we try to do is protect, love and keep out children as safe and nurtured as possible, we do what we think is right for our own children and nobody knows what they would do until faced with no other option.
Thank you for reading.
I love you Zeias-Wolf, forever & always.
Mommy.
Zeias-Wolf was born 11/11/2018, a happy, healthy, loving, funny & gentle boy, he lived 5 very healthy years until one day things changed.
Zeias had been complaining of migraines and sickness towards the end of September 2023, I took him to get this investigated in A&E early October and was sent home with anti-sickness tablets, no scan or follow up. I then investigated his eyes as his co-ordination was off and I was noticing him zoning out quite a lot. After going to the opticians in December an explaining his symptoms they referred us to the eye clinic, on Tuesday 19th December we attended the appointment as a general check up for his eyes, they found that his optic nerves were swollen which is caused by pressure in the brain, he was rushed for an emergency MRI and they found a ginormous brain tumour taking the right hemisphere of his brain, Zeias was a happy and healthy child even through this, still smiling, still fully functional, unaware of what was about to face him, he was at school the day before and in his uniform ready to go to school after the appointment. We were rushed to Birmingham children’s hospital later that Tuesday night where they needed to do further scans and they decided he needed an emergency surgery to effectively try to save his life, he underwent two surgeries that Friday, one to increase the fluid flow in his brain as the tumour had interfered and the other to get some for a biopsy and potentially try to take away a very small part of the tumour to relieve some of his discomfort. He went into the surgery on the 21st December and came out after 10 hours very groggy but still responsive, during the early hours of that following morning around 6am he went unresponsive and was rushed into theatre due to a major bleed on his brain from the tumours reaction to the surgery, his chances of survival were very low but he came out and was in a coma in ICU. he was in the coma for around 8 days before they started to try and wean him out of it, he was slowly waking up but due to the brain damage caused by bleed being in his central brain stem we were unsure how this would affect him, due to further tests and assessing him even though he could move his eyes and have reflexes to move his fingers etc, he developed dystonia and was still unable to move his limbs intentionally, this caused him alot of pain so they decided to put him back under sedation to keep him as comfortable as possible. Yesterday 05.01.24, his biopsy results came back & he has a Stage/grade 4 Glioma but due to his condition in ICU they are unable to carry out any treatments that have the potential to work as well as his brain injury that could leave him severely disabled for the rest of his life, unable to ever live independently if he could even survive the brain tumour. The doctors expressed that his chances of survival aren’t likely at all and that our options are to either see his potential recovery which would cause him to be in pain for the smallest chance of survival or to put him on to end of life care and allow him to pass away comfortably & turning off his oxygen.
The day before we went to the appointment that changed his life we put up and decorated the Christmas tree, after running around getting everything for Christmas and him being so excited to finally have a Christmas with his sister & he had just performed his first ever nativity a few days before, Christmas was supposed to be such a beautiful time as we were finally all together as a family, only for him to be fighting for his life over Christmas and new year. This has all happened within a span of a few weeks and now I sit here writing as I prepare his funeral, the pain cannot be contained in words, the shock or the sudden decline which I still haven’t been able to fully process.
You never ever think you would be sitting in this position having to make such a massive decision for your child, especially when three weeks ago he was smiling, running around and at school, now you’re having to make a decision on how to let your child go.
Upon deep remorse & pain I have decided that letting him pass in comfort is most important at this time, being able to try & spend the last few days/weeks with him before we say goodbye is worth more than watching him suffer only to end up eventually passing away due to the complexities & severity of his condition.
Wolf loved black panther, well most super hero’s to be honest but he believed when going into that initial surgery that he was undertaking “superhero surgery to relieve his special headaches & gain super powers” which has ultimately lead to him losing his quality of life & life in general (the surgery itself was successful but his brains reaction to it wasn’t, they did all they could’ve done, unfortunately this couldn’t have been helped)
In an attempt to make his send off as special as possible I am creating this go fund me page so that he can have a black panther themed funeral and the send of my baby deserves, the costs will go towards his funeral costs & headstone & making a memorial as beautiful as possible for my baby who’s life was ripped away from him way too soon.
We will be going to the hospice within the next few weeks & once they turn of his ventilation his passing will likely be very quick.
Words can’t explain the pain I feel, the guilt & the hurt, as a mother all we try to do is protect, love and keep out children as safe and nurtured as possible, we do what we think is right for our own children and nobody knows what they would do until faced with no other option.
Thank you for reading.
I love you Zeias-Wolf, forever & always.
Mommy.
Organizer
Eleven Ahmose
Organizer
England