In Memory of Charles Bell

Dear Friends and Community,

At 3:34 pm on September 29, 2024, our beloved Charles Edward Bell took his last breath. It was our honor to witness that moment, holding him as he peacefully exited this world. We felt his body relax and the warmth of his spirit soar as he gained his wings.

While we are devastated to lose him in this physical world, we find comfort in knowing he is now free from pain and sickness. He will always remain in our hearts and the hearts of everyone he loved. We cherish the time we spent with him and the beautiful memories we created together. He was not just a great father, husband, and friend, but a guiding light in all our lives.

In the days leading up to his passing, we shared many laughs and cherished moments, providing comfort and solace to each other. Charles was our hero, a gift we will always hold dear.

Our father wore many titles: decorated veteran, loving father, devoted husband, joyful grandfather, happiest uncle, jubilant cousin, caring brother, active community member, brilliant political strategist, and treasured friend. Everyone who met him loved him and knew him as a good man, embodying the true spirit of kindness and patriotism. He loved his country with the same respect and care he bestowed upon his family and friends.

Charles always greeted life with a smile, even during its toughest moments. He was a constant source of support and a friend to all.

In this difficult time, we are seeking support for his cremation services and to aid our mother, who was his caregiver for the last 15 years, with expenses while his benefits are being transferred. Any contribution, no matter how small, would mean the world to our family and help us navigate this challenging period.

I hope that in addition to considering financial support that even more important, you will take the time to read the following story on how our family ended up financially devastated like this. Really truly read our story. It is long and I am sorry for that, but this is an important story to tell. Not just for my family, but yours as well.

When my father passed away this week, we were blindsided with a financial reality alongside with our grief that has stolen our peace and left my mother absolutely terrified for our future. No one should face this.

While my dad had health insurance in life, he had no life insurance to cover death. My parents cashed in their life insurance and quick sold their house two years ago to help me out of a catastrophic and emergent situation. There was no other option. Over the last two years, they have been living in Vermont with me helping to pay off the extraordinary debt that I encountered to save my life from that catastrophe. In truth, they have been borrowing against assets and cashing in what little money they could save the entirety of my 45 years on this planet. The guilt I feel right now is immeasurable. My father died with no savings left for my mom to live on and no life insurance to even pay for his cremation. My dad was an officer in the air force, and part of the tac334 operations in Vietnam. He did amazing things. He was also a survival instructor that saved lives and earned medals during his service. Additionally, my father spent his life as an active volunteer in the community with organizations like Habitat for Humanity, Paint Your Heart Out (Lakeland), Salvation Army Charities, and many many more- too many to name in this post. He even served other communities by going to rebuild houses after disasters like Hurricane Andrew. My father was a member of the First United Methodist Church of Lakeland, a retired chemist from Mosaic, and a retired school teacher. My dad worked three jobs most of my childhood to meet the gaps that insurance didn’t cover to keep me alive. When I tell you that I literally would be dead without his blood sweat and tears, I mean that. I would. I would have died as a child. Despite all of the jobs my dad worked, he still always had time for family. He took us to the park, was a scout leader, a baseball coach, a PTA dad, a cheerleading dad, a majorette dad, and of course our beloved charitable Santa. If you needed help and asked dad, he never said no. And no one really ever even had to ask. Dad showed up for everyone, all of the time. He gave 100% every single time in every single thing that he did. My dad was a true patriot, a good neighbor, a brilliant political strategist, and a great American. Which, is what makes this situation so incredibly sad.

While my father was working round the clock to keep me alive and our family fed, my mom stayed home to care for me. It is important to mention here that the sickness I had which resulted in 7 years of dialysis and 2 separate kidney transplants was a result of a birth defect from my dad’s service in Vietnam. Our government acknowledged the defect as service related, but to this day has yet to compensate for it. Instead, my dad often worked 20 hours a day between his jobs, and believe it or not, he never once complained and he always came home smiling.

In the 1990s my dad got the first diagnosis of his service connected diseases. Despite that, he continued to work. He had to keep me alive. In 2004, my dad suffered the first of several strokes, and then was diagnosed with a progressive heart disease and Mysthenia Gravis, which is a neurological muscle wasting disease. Shortly after those diagnosis, my father suffered an almost fatal heat attack and had to have open heart surgery. From then on, the toll of the of the disease impaired my father to where he was no longer able to work. My mother became his full time care giver 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. A nurse from the hospital where my father recently passed showed us the actual costs of what caring for someone with his needs would have cost the state and government, and we were in shock. $80,000 dollars a month was the estimate she gave us based on the costs for all the tasks my mom had been doing for my dad for the last 15+ years. My mother did so with love. But after 15+ years of saving the VA $80,000 a month, an estimated sum of $14,400,400.00 dollars, that’s right, over 14 million dollars, my mother was left with nothing. She has no work credits for taking care of my father. If the VA had paid people that 14+ million dollars as contracted workers, they would have all had social security work credits along with a paycheck every week. My mother received none of that. If you add in the costs she saved the state of the 30+ years she took care of me, plus the cost of end of life care she provided two of my aunts, it is more than half a billion dollars. Half a billion dollars of work my mother provided and she has no work credits. No PTO. No pension. Nothing.

When my father was first disabled, my parents were told that my mother would receive 2/3rds of my dad’s pay. I was at that meeting. She should have been okay right now. Instead, the government has chipped away over the last decade at survivor benefits and now my mom is only entitled to $1500.00 a month. Who can live on that? And she won’t receive that for at least four months. And, she still has to wait for the VA to rule on it, so there is always a possibility she will be denied.

Additionally, the VA only offers a $300 death benefit and social security a $250 death benefit for my father, both paid in reimbursements. You literally can’t cremate a cat for that. Not to mention that we needed to have the money up front.

In my eyes, not only did my dad serve our country, my mother did too. She took care of my father and I who both had life debilitating diseases from his service for over 45 years total. My mother put in 45 years of round the clock care 7 days a week with no reprieve. She did so willingly with love. She extended both of our lives by doing so and provided us both quality of life as well.

I feel like my country turned it’s back on my mother. She gave her life for her country taking care of a veteran who risked his life and the child who suffered from that risk as well and she has nothing now. No money to live on. No assets. No home. No work credits to even draw social security. At 66 years old, my mother who just lost her husband of 51 years can’t even grieve in peace because the threat of becoming homeless and losing her car, phone, and health care is very much a real possibility. This isn’t right. My father served his country and ultimately lost his life for it. My mother served her country too. She saved the government literally millions of dollars and now, she has been tossed to the side, disposable.

If you have read this far, I thank you. Beyond the dire financial need my mother has and the unfairness of it all, I think it is important that people know what happens to our veterans and their surviving spouses. How this country treats them. This is not a democrat or republican issue. It is a by partisan problem. Our country has been under house and presidency ruling by both parties during these years I have mentioned and both have chipped away at the benefits rather than fixed the problem.

I need help for my mother. I can not tell you how embarrassing it is to have to beg for help to cover the cost of death for the man who worked three jobs to save my life or to have to beg for money to help my mom be able to keep her car and eat while she waits on the tiny benefit that won’t even cover rent for her in the future. I can not tell you the bigness of the guilt I feel for being the reason they cashed in what little they had managed to save. But the truth is, as guilty as I feel and as much as I would like to take the whole blame, this isn’t all on me. My parents should have had a death benefit to a bare minimum cover the cost of cremation. My mother should be able to get the 2/3rd payment of his VA check she was promised. She should have had caretakers pay for her 45 years of service. She should have social security work credits. And I should be grieving my father and celebrating his life right now instead of begging for help on social media. But here we are.

Again, if you have read this far, thank you. Even if you are not able to financially help, please share this. Share this so people know what happens to veterans and their surviving spouses. Share this so people know how veterans and their family members end up homeless and begging in the street. Share this so people know when their children consider serving our country what the real risks actually are. Share this because my dad was a hero and he deserved better than this. Share this because our story isn’t the exception, our story is the rule. What happened to us is happening every day to families just like mine, just like yours.

With heartfelt gratitude,

Jane Bell & The Bell Family