Case of the missing Burrito
Donation protected
At work on a Sunday night, I was trying to decide on what to eat for dinner as we don't get breaks off the clock to go grab something. I decided on Moes, and twice as nice when I realized they were giving me a free burrito for my birthday about 3 weeks prior!
So I order my burrito, but "NO!" cried the Moes app. "You must have a minimum of $10 to get delivery!" it proclaimed.
So me, being ever the planner, decided to get TWO burritos. 1 steak, which I would eat that fateful Sunday, and then a delicious adobo chicken burrito which I would have for lunch the following day.
I ate the absolutely delightful steak burrito that night and placed the adobo chicken in the cooler to bring home.
After working that evening, and right before heading home, I took the chicken burrito out of the cooler and placed it on the counter when fate twisted its tendrils around my evening.
(((Please...if you're squeamish or have a sensitivity to violence or abandonment issues from someone never coming back home when they're just going out for "Milk and cigarettes" then please don't read any further. This isn't for the faint of heart.)))
I noticed some lids needing to be put away that weren't done yet by my clerk that had left some 40 minutes ago. I grabbed the lids, and went to open the cabinet where they belong. In doing so, the cabinet and drawer TEAMED UP ON ME to smash my pinky between the cabinet drawer and the cabinet frame! "SON OF A BISCUIT EATER!" I shouted... (But I definitely did not say biscuit eater)
I iced down my poor little pinky and went home, made a chicken sandwich after taking the dog to play outside at midnight, had a few beers, and went sweetly to sleep.
Fast forward to Monday afternoon at work. Get the store situated, see my trainers clock in with my clerks right behind them waiting eagerly to start the amazing day we are going to have together as we start our witty banter until I try to yet again figure out whats for din... "Oh my god my burrito!!!"
Panic! Fear! MORE PANIC!
And then...Searching! I checked my back pack...I checked my car...knowing full well I couldn't eat the burrito had I left it out, but could give it a proper burial at the very least.
Nothing. I text my night assistant. "Hey. Did you happen to find a burrito last night anywhere?"
"Oh..." she texts back. "Oh...is that what I found on the floor this morning? I threw it away"
"Nooooooo!"
My poor, alone, abandoned burrito.
:'( <---Actual representation of my face at this point, and yours too. (probably)
It must have fallen off the counter when the cabinet attacked me (ATTACKED!!!) while my eyes were distracted. I can't believe how careless I was...and I vow to never let it happen again and I would love a chance to change the outcome this time.
I'm waiting to hear back from HR about what kind of punishment the cabinet will face, and it better fit the crime or I'll turn it into a million paperclips. DON'T TEST ME, CABINET!!
I'm only seeking $16 dollars to replace the burrito, which covers the delivery fee and tip, because I'm a good tipper and you should be too! You better be. Burritos deserve better than to be left alone and abandoned to be thrown out like trash. Burritos aren't trash, and neither are you. You're beautiful. Just like a burrito.
(Real talk though, any funds raised over $16 in the event that this COMPLETELY SERIOUS fundraiser receives will go towards the Greenville County Humane Society to provide food and bedding for the dogs and cats in need)
So I order my burrito, but "NO!" cried the Moes app. "You must have a minimum of $10 to get delivery!" it proclaimed.
So me, being ever the planner, decided to get TWO burritos. 1 steak, which I would eat that fateful Sunday, and then a delicious adobo chicken burrito which I would have for lunch the following day.
I ate the absolutely delightful steak burrito that night and placed the adobo chicken in the cooler to bring home.
After working that evening, and right before heading home, I took the chicken burrito out of the cooler and placed it on the counter when fate twisted its tendrils around my evening.
(((Please...if you're squeamish or have a sensitivity to violence or abandonment issues from someone never coming back home when they're just going out for "Milk and cigarettes" then please don't read any further. This isn't for the faint of heart.)))
I noticed some lids needing to be put away that weren't done yet by my clerk that had left some 40 minutes ago. I grabbed the lids, and went to open the cabinet where they belong. In doing so, the cabinet and drawer TEAMED UP ON ME to smash my pinky between the cabinet drawer and the cabinet frame! "SON OF A BISCUIT EATER!" I shouted... (But I definitely did not say biscuit eater)
I iced down my poor little pinky and went home, made a chicken sandwich after taking the dog to play outside at midnight, had a few beers, and went sweetly to sleep.
Fast forward to Monday afternoon at work. Get the store situated, see my trainers clock in with my clerks right behind them waiting eagerly to start the amazing day we are going to have together as we start our witty banter until I try to yet again figure out whats for din... "Oh my god my burrito!!!"
Panic! Fear! MORE PANIC!
And then...Searching! I checked my back pack...I checked my car...knowing full well I couldn't eat the burrito had I left it out, but could give it a proper burial at the very least.
Nothing. I text my night assistant. "Hey. Did you happen to find a burrito last night anywhere?"
"Oh..." she texts back. "Oh...is that what I found on the floor this morning? I threw it away"
"Nooooooo!"
My poor, alone, abandoned burrito.
:'( <---Actual representation of my face at this point, and yours too. (probably)
It must have fallen off the counter when the cabinet attacked me (ATTACKED!!!) while my eyes were distracted. I can't believe how careless I was...and I vow to never let it happen again and I would love a chance to change the outcome this time.
I'm waiting to hear back from HR about what kind of punishment the cabinet will face, and it better fit the crime or I'll turn it into a million paperclips. DON'T TEST ME, CABINET!!
I'm only seeking $16 dollars to replace the burrito, which covers the delivery fee and tip, because I'm a good tipper and you should be too! You better be. Burritos deserve better than to be left alone and abandoned to be thrown out like trash. Burritos aren't trash, and neither are you. You're beautiful. Just like a burrito.
(Real talk though, any funds raised over $16 in the event that this COMPLETELY SERIOUS fundraiser receives will go towards the Greenville County Humane Society to provide food and bedding for the dogs and cats in need)
Organizer
Jay Lipovsky
Organizer
Greenville, SC