Inhale courage. Exhale doubt.

In April 2021, my life changed forever. I had emergency surgery for cauda equina syndrome and I'm now finally ready to share a snippet of my journey with you... and never before seen photos. Here it goes!

I woke from surgery thinking, "ok, I'm breathing on my own and I can wiggle my toes." My bar was pretty low at that point. Trying to put on a brave smile to send my kids a photo after I disappeared to the hospital for a week and couldn't have visitors due to covid. Still hoping I could walk and go to the bathroom on my own again.

Kinda biggies.

Facing the reality of having permanent impairments just tore me apart. My thoughts were preoccupied with managing bladder and bowel dysfunction and simply walking from point A to point B. It was exhausting.

Over the course of the next year I attended over 200 medical/ rehabilitation appointments.

I tried to keep my kids' lives as regular as before, even if it meant I was watching their swimming lessons laying down in the bleachers since I couldn't stay upright any longer.

My strength and athleticism was always something I was proud of. Even though I know using a power scooter to get around conserves energy and helps me enjoy the activity more as I don't have to focus on walking, I still have to convince myself to use it. Every time. It makes me feel weak and vulnerable and I'm still working through the acceptance of using it. I still grieve the loss of function and change in my quality of life.

This next photo was taken after one my longest walks yet- 2 years post CES. Emotional when I completed a 2.5km hike. Walking poles, lots of breaks, but grateful that I can still enjoy walking in nature.

I'm slowly learning to embrace the things where I don't feel my limitations like a slap in the face, like water and boating activities. I always wanted to be an active role model for my kids and it was a dream come true when we took our first family ski trip in 2019 (photo below). Snowboarding was the thing that got me in the FLOW.

So I took a big leap this winter and applied to the Herb Bradley Snowsport Festival in Jan 2025. This is an amazing opportunity- a 4 day event on Vancouver Island for people with disabilities, to try out adaptive equipment with trained adaptive instructors! This is so meaningful for me, as it gives me the opportunity to feel the freedom of movement down a mountain again and figure out what works best for me.

Although the cost of the festival is covered, I am asking for your help to raise funds for the travel, accommodations and anticipated costly adaptive equipment I'll need to continue snowboarding! Thanks for helping to break down barriers for people with disabilities by supporting me in this journey.

A shout out to my family for all their help, love and support and particularly my husband, Roberto, who has been my other wing to help my fly.

Andrea Doepker-Gavidia