Celebration of Life - A Tribute to Charles
Charles was sunshine in human form.
He was a treasured father and beloved brother. He was one of those magnetic souls whose very presence could light up a room and was blessed with the ability to carry any conversation with friend and stranger alike. A true man of integrity, equality and kindness - even rarer was the compassion and empathy he carried in his heart. He was the epitome of a good samaritan, followed the biblical golden rule and always had a soft spot for animals. That man was my beloved dad and as his only child, I can proudly say that out of all the men in the world to have become fathers, I was undoubtedly blessed with the best.
June is Pride Month.
Charles was a proud member of the LGBT+ community and each June when Los Angeles would celebrate Pride month, together dad and I would always go watch the West Hollywood Pride parade every year since I moved to LA in 2013; one of our many traditions we celebrated together. Loosing my dad on June 3 during Pride Month fills me with a myriad of emotions... He would always say, "Love is a spectrum of color." My dad knew I loved him unconditionally; he raised me with compassion, acceptance, perseverance and integrity - all of which I learned from him. In my heart, I know I've made him proud and I'll continue to do so, with him always in my heart. He touched the lives of many, most importantly mine as his daughter, and I'm proud to share his name and to continue his legacy.
I lost my dad during the coronavirus pandemic.
Here, I would like the opportunity to share my painful experience for those who wish to listen and to serve as gentle reminder that in an instant, someone you love could be gone from your life without having the opportunity to say goodbye.
Charles was suddenly hospitalized for severe pneumonia at LAC+USC Medical Center in downtown Los Angeles for 44 days, from April 21 to June 3. While I am forever grateful to the staff at LAC + USC Medical Center for giving my father the best possible care during his time there, yet from day one, I was refused entry to see my dad when I wanted only to be there with him, holding his hand and reminding him that love him - that he knew he wasn't alone in this and that I would always be there. Days later when he asked me to be there with him, my heart broke when I said that I wasn't permitted - all visitors were (and still are) not allowed entry. One particular conversation we shared, he began crying because he just wanted to see me. There aren't enough words that even begin to come close to describe how deeply painful it is that I was denied that quality time–that is, up until his death, when I was finally able to see him just once to say goodbye but at that point, it was already too late. "End of life visitation," is what it's called.
Due to his sudden unstable vitals and compromised immune system, the doctor urged I go immediately, so I rushed to the hospital alone. The doctor explained my dad was in an encephalopathic state and could no longer respond. Still, I wanted to be by his side. I stood outside of my dad's ICU room which was predominately one large glass sliding door so anyone walking past could easily see in. I lost track of time standing there since once more, I was not allowed inside the room. Growing up, my father was a devout Catholic and so to honor him, I requested a priest to meet me so as to read him his last rights. It was a bitter-sweet moment. Shortly after, the priest left and I stood there, refusing to leave so I quietly cried, softly talking as if I was next to him. After awhile, the head nurse approached me, asking if I wanted to go in. My heart leaped at the opportunity of seeing him after 43 days. The head nurse swiftly helped me into sterilized tear-away clothing complete with a helmet cough guard. Finally after all that time, I was able to see my dad face to face. Words fail me here, because how can one describe the feeling of a heart breaking. To see and hear all of the buzzing, whirring machines keeping my dad alive but in a vegetative state is the most painful, traumatic experience... I stayed for a while, talking with him, praying he could hear me, and in my heart, I'd like to think he could - that he WAS there with me even though he couldn't respond. I lost track of how many times I told him I loved him, how proud I was of him, that I forgive any past mistakes and in turn I asked for the same. "You can go home now, dad. I love you."
He would have been 57 this August. There was so much left to do together, endless memories to create and holidays to share. He went home to paradise several hours later in the early morning of June 3. I just know he was waiting for me to say "I love you" one last time.
The bond a father and daughter share is a gift, one that I will be forever grateful tohave experienced. Over time, my heart will heal coupled with the phenomenal emotional support I've received from my loved ones.
Each donation will help pay loving tribute towards my father’s cremation services here in California where afterwards a few family members and I will be spreading the majority of his ashes among the forests, mountains and beaches throughout the year ranging from Sequoia & King's Canyon to the solemn disturbed shores along the golden coast. Another portion will be spread in his beloved hometown of New Orleans, Louisiana where he was born and raised. Lastly, I'll be holding onto a small remaining portion which I will place in the below memorial wind chime where it will forever hang above the entryway of my home.
As the fundraiser organizer, all funds will go towards his cremation and a loving memorial wind chime. A portion of the remaining funds, if any, will be donated to the LA LGBT+ Center, AIDS United Research, and to the LA animal rescue, Best Friends Lifesaving Center in Los Angeles - all listed below.
~ Memorial Wind Chime ~
My dad was a believer that music can heal the heart, he loved listening to the classics from Mozart to Beethoven. With this memorial wind chime, I will place a small amount of my dad's ashes in the metal urn on his keepsake wind chime so a part of him will be here with me throughout my life. This wind catcher will feature an engraved poem on the front and a my own inscription on the back.
For cremation services, I have chosen to go with Tulip Cremation.
Since I have decided to spread his ashes throughout nature, an urn isn't needed since I'll keep keeping a little within the wind chime memorial urn.
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Cremation = $960.00
Wind Chime Memorial Urn = $90.00
TOTAL GOAL = $1,050.00
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️ A portion of remaining funds, if any, will be donated to these organizations ️
• Los Angeles LGBT Center
• AIDS United
• Animal Rescue of LA - Best Friends Lifesaving Center in Los Angeles
Any outside donations apart from Charles’ close circle of family and friends will be tremendously appreciated. Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions and comments. Thank you. ✨❤️✨