Chronic Illness Support to Start New Job by March

Hi y’all. My friends know my situation. A couple have suggested I do this to help. It is embarrassing to describe. I’m not sure where to even start. But regardless of all other circumstances, the main purpose of this fundraiser concerns the expenses of my chronic illness exacerbated by an actively traumatizing living situation.

No chronic (incurable) illness is enjoyable of course, and I suffer from what may arguably be the least glamorous of all, taboo to even mention its effects because much of the ailment manifests as an IBD. Other than antibiotics which I am allergic to, there is only experimental chemical treatments available in western medicine for ulcerative colitis. I was first diagnosed in 2011. Back then they predicted I would have sections of my intestines surgically removed within 7 years. For a long time I didn’t know if there was anything to treat it. But in more recent years I have found a lot of relief for many of my symptoms through traditional Chinese medicine and have avoided needing surgery as a result. In all those years I have never asked for help to cover costs for treatments, even when it was the last bit of money I even had to pay for acupuncture to just help get me by.

Although I’ve maintained my condition much better through time and with continual help of TCM doctors, flare ups can happen and ulcerative colitis flare ups are typically brought on by stress. This current flare up has been really bad, one of the longest I have ever experienced because of the living situation I am in. The treatments with my current TCM doctor are helping even if it’s not possible to just make it go away. The issue is that I’m once again in a very poor environment. I am lucky that I have a very good and loving partner but we are in this situation suffering together. This is the part I really don’t like to talk about because the perpetrators of the trauma typically get the benefit of the doubt. At this point, dealing with the situation for 14 months, trying to convey how bad it is, trying to feel validated, is very traumatic to the point that even trying to explain it here makes me sick to my stomach.

We don’t have the money to just pick up and move from it but I saved just enough money from a Kickstarter project (still being fulfilled) to take an opportunity to start a new business in order to give me a place out of this apartment to be and maybe make some money. With having a chronic illness, it’s extremely hard to work on another’s schedule so I have had to try to use my art skills to make money independently which is a continual struggle and takes a huge toll on mental health too, as any independent artist knows. I have been fired from “real jobs” for being sick in the past. It’s embarrassing as hell. I was accused of either faking (since we humans don’t usually casually look at each other’s naked rear ends) or of being “irresponsible with my condition”.

I am pleased that the Kickstarter was successful! The project helped raise the funds needed for my new business! However, having to fulfill the project from home, in this place nearly impossible to work in, with no other place to work, has made me so sick with the exposure to what is simply torture (as documented on several videos shared to my personal social media accounts) that all that money has went to just keeping me as healthy as possible, which has been enough to just get by. My Kickstarter fulfillment has taken twice as long as it would have otherwise.

I feel so stupid sometimes lately for having already paid for my training and certification for PMU months ago. I have been learning permanent makeup to add to my tattooing practice that I had to give up during COVID along with the various moves we have made during that time. Now I have a spot to rent from my local nail gal’s studio and want to present an integrative service that fits her own business. I just recently completed the PMU training for two different brow techniques. But now the rest of that saved money is about to nearly all gone for the sake of just trying to get by in my body for the medical expenses, including an audiologist at this point because the conditions in which we are living has caused me to develop tinnitus that has become painful.

I feel rather confident that accessing the studio space that has been made available to me to restart my tattooing career and to get into PMU in addition to the craft will be beneficial enough to my health by removing me from the traumatizing environment for work that it will reduce my need for weekly treatments. As it is my symptoms are so bad that it is painful to do anything (even to simply sit, stand, or lie down) especially leaving the apartment which is also the place making me sick. Ironic! But still, I have pulled myself out to travel 2 hours each way for my PMU training sessions, to go to multiple medical specialists, to take walks to escape the torture, to run errands, to try to take an opportunity every now and then to be social. I reckon a couple folks have noticed this, that I do try, that I’m not hopeless, that I do actually face adversity, and I am worth a little help, that I can succeed if given some kind of charitable compensation for just plain bad luck. I know a lot of other folks have it worse and it’s embarrassing to ask for financial help in this time. The amount I am seeking is only to cover the amount of my savings spent on medical treatments over the past 3 months. I need the help by March.