Give Me Your Money

Listen folks. You may have seen Fed Ed asking you for money. Well, I need money, too. It’s for a problem my health insurers refuse to cover. In fact, they won’t get near it. Flatulence. 

I can’t begin to tell you how many times my problem has set off fire alarms at the courthouse. It’s worse than leprosy.  Just today, I let one loose while walking and several animals in the vicinity just keeled over. 

I am am raising money for a giant bubble that will encapsulate me during the day, containing the fumes. At night, a pipeline leading right from my anal cavity will release a new form of alternative energy that will beat any solar panel on your roof. 

So contribute now. Your contribution is not tax deductible and I frankly don’t care if you have to pay gift tax.