Dandy Darling's Top Surgery Fundraiser

Hi! My name is Julian, or you may also know me as the fabulous Dandy Darling❤️

I'm 28 years old, transmasculine, and I'm from Norwich, UK.

This is a fundraiser to raise money for my top surgery.

I first came out as trans when I was 21 - 7 years ago now - so this has been a very long time coming. But after a lot of reflection, I have finally decided to ask for support.

During this time, I was dealing with debilitating mental health issues and undiagnosed physical health issues, so whilst I remained on the NHS waiting list for T, I made the decision to focus on getting my health to a place where it felt manageable and stable.

These days, thankfully, I am in a much better place, thanks to a lot of incredible professional support, along with the support of those close to me. But this surgery feels like the final piece of the puzzle to move forward on my healing journey and to finally feel at peace in my body. I know now that this is what is right for me.

For me, drag is a place where I can feel like myself. It's why you see me stay in drag after gigs so often. When presenting myself as I am, I feel a lingering sense of discomfort, unease and dysphoria. Emotionally, it hurts to have to take it all off at the end of a show because there are certain things I wish would just stay, such as a flat chest. I want to feel like I can walk through the world and exist as myself.

I am not very vocal about my transness, because frankly, being a transmasc who presents in the way that I do, I have always been afraid nobody would take me seriously. I tried to dress differently to "pass", but this felt deeply inauthentic and uncomfortable to me too, and I got tired of explaining myself again and again.

I just want my body to finally reflect who I am. I don't want to feel that I have to downplay my identity for another 7 years, which would be the case if I were to go through the NHS. The waiting lists are incredibly long, and it has already taken me 5 years of waiting to get a prescription for testosterone, which I am due to start this year.

Due to Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder, I cannot wear a binder full-time due to chronic pain, and tape scars me as my skin is fragile and slow to heal.

I am from a low income, working class family, who cannot provide me with any financial support. They have expressed wishes against me medically transitioning, so I will not be making them aware of my plans.

I am financially insecure, being a self-employed drag performer and on Universal Credit with Limited Capability for Work. Due to my disabilities, it is not possible for me to take on any sort of day job in addition to this. It is extremely unlikely I will be able to financially contribute to this fundraiser in any way, but if I can, I will.

Therefore, I will be fundraising for the full amount to cover costs of appointments, surgery, and the recovery period. As I work through the process of finding a surgeon, this amount may change to reflect that. In the case that I raise excess funds, I will distribute these to other trans folk's fundraisers.

Alongside this Gofundme, I will be organising fundraisers and anything else I can do to help cover the costs. So watch this space!

I appreciate times are tough, but it would be my dream to get top surgery before I turn 30, so please, any amount you can spare, however big or small, means the world to me.

Across my 6 years doing drag, I have crossed paths with many incredible people! If you have ever enjoyed one of my shows, you know me from social media or you are a personal friend or someone who has connected to my life in any way - the best way to show up for me is to support me on this. If you can't donate, I would really appreciate you sharing this fundraiser far and wide!

Thanks to the friends who have helped me to feel able to finally be open about this. Those who know me will know vulnerability and asking for help can be a challenge for me, so I'm scared - but excited too. Thank you for reading, and have a lovely day ❤️

With love,

Julian/Dandy x