Darla stay alive

Hi, my name is Darla and I have suffered from suicidal depression since 2008. I had a sexually and emotionally abusive childhood and have not been able to adapt to the world we live in. For many years I have struggled to find stability and support and hope and have ended up in more abusive situations as an adult. I tried to end my life on October 21st of 2023 and am healing from the wounds I created in doing so. I have been suffering from paralyzing anxiety attacks since September of this year that can last up to 30 minutes and leave me unable to speak or move. I have reached out for help and am seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist and will be starting an intensive outpatient program in the next few weeks. I have been unable to work and need help in order to buy food and pay my bills while I wait for short term disability paperwork to be done and approved. I normally would not ask for help like this but I have no real support system am tired of being hungry and scared of becoming homeless. Thank you for listening.