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Daughters for Mothers-I will never give up.

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To whom it may concern:

            My name is Dollie Fambro and I am the daughter of Clara Fambro. I am struggling to defend my mother from the care facility she is in. Her life story is precious to me and I would like to share our lives with you to hopefully improve the quality of my mother’s life as well as the other residents she lives with. . I am raising money for a new attorney to help me fight for my mother.   I have video tape of care givers fist fighting in the facility and, video tape of a worker telling that he left the facility because of abuses happening to workers and patients. If you are unable to donate, please share and get the word out.  I have been told if I fight for my mother I will never be allowed to see her again. But I have to do this

            My mother is the sister to two of the original Tuskegee Air Men, Richard Davis a Pilot and Moses Davis a mechanic. She comes from a family that believes in the United States of America; for many years she ran the Air National Guard Family Program in Oregon and parts of Washington. For 20 years she was head of the Women’s Auxiliary for International Longshore and Warehouse Union in Portland. When there were strikes she helped put together a company store. When the Police went on strike once she helped put together a company store for them. She taught in Peach County school district when she was younger. She was a Camp Fire Girl Troop Leader in Portland.  She marched with Cesar Chavez and the farm workers, she worked at polling booths and on numerous political campaigns; now when she has a coherent thought she has no one that loves her there to listen to her because . She cooked food on the weekends for the homeless and served them in our back yard. She was a farmer. She organized dozens of blood drives for the American Red Cross. Clara Fambro was a teacher, advocate, and activist. She had three children and managed to raise them all while being a viable part of her community.  She brought her children to the Great Northwest after being forced to leave the South. She lost her husband after 45 years of marriage to a brain tumor.  

            In 2011 she lost her son Robert to kidney failure. She still seemed to keep her zest for life and in 2012 at the age of 80 was tutoring someone taking Calculus III. However, even though her mind was good in math it had started to wander when it came to everyday activities and so I moved into help with her daily activities.  I was to find out that my mother was and is now suffering from the ravages of Alzheimer’s which has caused her too physically and mentally decline. As families often do we could come to a consensus on what care should be provided. I was stupid enough to believe that the system might be able to help balance the situation but as time has gone on it has become the most horrifying mistake of my life.

 I am very concerned about the level of care she is getting. For the past year I have watched as my mother, Clara Fambro, and others are abused in this care facility. I have reported my concerns to APS, the attorney, and nursing groups visiting the home, and feel heartbroken they have refused to do anything.  I found out whenever anyone at the facility would ask my mother what nationality she is, my mother would proudly say, “I am an American,” she has always maintained and fought for her right to be an American from the United States of America. One day I went to visit her and the caregivers were feeding her lunch and before she could have any food she had to say she was African not African American but African. When I asked her what was going on she said that certain caregivers would not let her have food if she said she was an American. I want to know why she is asked this question at all.

            I bring her gifts and they disappear the next day. Where are the items that I purchase for my mother? Several times when I have visited there is a blind lady who will stand up by the dinner table and she asks, “Please I have to go to the bathroom”, and “Could someone please take me to the bathroom?” I have seen her beg for as long as two hours while as many as 4 care givers and family members in the home stand by and do nothing.  Finally she will urinate or defecate on herself and the supervisor that has refused to let anyone come to her aid allows one of the care givers to take her to her room. I complain about the young lady that has seizures and is choking  and no one will come to her aid. My mother, another residence and at least one worker in the home have reported that there are fist fights that take place in the home. I now have video tape of a worker attacking another worker while a residence watches. Can you imagine the fear of not only your mind and body betraying you but now you have to put up with watching the violent behavior of the people who are supposed to care for you. One day when I went to visit, my mother said all the good workers leave and some leave because there are fist fights in the house. My mother on three separate occasions has told me she has seen fist fights. You might imagine my horror when at least two workers have whispered to me, “Get your mother out”. One of caregivers told me she does not want me there that she and the owner’s daughter are my mother’s new daughters and that I need to go away. When I visit and that care giver is there she purposely walks in-between me and my mother and deliberately bumps my mother’s legs the anguish on my mother face is horrible.

I have repeatedly reported these abuses that I have witnessed my mother and at least three other people endure to no avail. I have repeatedly called the nursing agencies that are supposed be watching for this type of abuse but they will not respond to me.  On April 18 the manager of one of the homes called me screaming at the top of her lungs that she will fix it so that I can never see my mother again and then hung up the phone and then hung up the phone on me.. I texted her asking what was wrong she did not respond

One of the workers in the home sent me a video talking about the abuse in the home, the fighting and confirmed withholding of food as a punishment for more people than just my mother. Finally someone in the house sent me a video of a fist fight taking place in the home. He then called me two weeks later because the owner had found out about the video and he did not want me to use the video to help fight for my mother and the others in the home. The former caregiver said they were now paying his rent, paying for groceries and if I used the videos he would be embarrassed. I asked him about the young lady who has seizures and blind lady they ignore for hours when she is begging for assistance; he says that if I turn over the video he will leave the area.

            When I reported the abuses I was seeing to the attorney, that is supposed to be protecting my mother she told me that, and I quote, “a certain amount of abuse is to be expected in these facilities and Dollie you need to stop paying attention.” She says no one will believe me. The attorney says she might do something about it but she doesn’t know what. She also says the conservator, her best friend, will probable ban me from seeing my mother. She says that if I do not say, “I like her she cannot be my attorney.” She has told me that I should forget about my mother and go live my life. I am never ever going to forget about the woman who gave me life.  I was tricked and lied to by the attorney so the court system could take away my mother’s rights as a human being. She told me that if my mother had an attorney, the attorney she was entitled too, that I would probable not be allowed to see my mother again. I have asked the attorney to file for a new conservator; instead she filed papers to make her a permanent part of our lives.   They are stealing away the last joy we can have together as a mother and daughter.

When I complain about my mother’s treatment or the treatment of the young lady that has seizures or the treatment of the beautiful blind woman with the snow white hair the attorney tells me I must neither see it, nor complain, or I will not be allowed to see my mother ever again.  My mother never had her own attorney during this process, a process that denies her all of her rights as a human being.

Covid-19 has taken safety away from all of us and I want everyone to be safe but if you know of an older adult in a care facility please go and visit. Wear your mask and stand outside the window take a pictures spend five minutes, somewhere on some level they know. Being a caregiver is beyond a hard job and the majority of people in those positions are doing everything they can but these facilities seem to attract a few sadistic monster and our loved ones are trapped inside with these monsters. Many people in a care facility no longer have the memory that they need to voice their fears and abuses in a way that they can be understood or believed. If you know someone in a facility call more often than you normally would and take a picture every chance you can even if it is 10 feet away through a pane of glass. Make friends with the family members of the other residents something that I have been warned repeatedly not to do.

The court papers say that my mother is to be allowed to come stay with me but every time I try to talk about the issue with my attorney she just ignores me.

I need money to pay for a new attorney and to put in a wheel chair ramp; anything that you can do to help would be appreciated. ALL PRAYERS ARE WELCOMED.

Thank you

Organizer

Dollie Fambro
Organizer
Vancouver, WA

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