The Legacy of Debbie Charles Clay

Debbie Charles Clay – wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt; writer; wine enthusiast; self-proclaimed "Jesus Freak and Disney Geek;" an American Cancer Society Hero of Hope; and so much more.

This fundraiser is borne out of the love that we all share for her, and is made to support her family and our efforts to honor her life and her accomplishments.

How will the funds be used?

All of your contributions to this fundraiser will go towards the following:

• Remaining Medical and Family Expenses
• Memorial Service and Celebration of Life
• Publication of Debbie's Cancer Blog "The Sacred Ordinary"
• A Metastatic Breast Cancer Research Fund  

Supporting Debbie's Family


Family. To us (brothers Adam and Zac), Debbie was our "Mama Bear"; our support, our rock, and a wealth of wisdom, stories, and love. To our Dad Darrell, she was a soulmate; a lifelong partner and high school sweetheart; a best friend. And throughout Debbie's cancer journey, we became her rock, her confidants, and her support. 

In the past few months, Deb's three emergency surgeries and extended hospital stays meant that our Dad needed to take an unpaid leave of absence from work to help take care of her at home. Now, after Debbie's passing, we have been left with our grief, as well as the remaining expenses from cancer treatments, surgeries, hospital bills, and more. Our Dad's leave of absence is now an unpaid bereavement leave, as he grieves the loss of his partner of over 45 years.

A portion of the contributions to this fundraiser will help to relieve some of these financial burdens so we can focus on honoring our mother and returning to a new normal.

Debbie Clay's Fantastic Day of Celebration


We put a lot of thought into how to honor Deb and create a day she would love. It will start with a spiritual memorial service at Deb's church home, led by her pastor of the last eight years and her immediate family. Deb's spirit will be with us as we honor her memory & acknowledge her spiritual journey to Heaven.

And, as we all know, Deb loved a good party. So, her Celebration of Life after the memorial will be filled with all the things she loved and cherished the most – family, friends, laughing, storytelling, wine, and food. 
Everyone who had a connection with Deb is invited to come together as we share stories, pictures, and home videos while enjoying good food and great wine in a place she was very familiar with and practically picked herself.

A portion of the contributions to this fundraiser will be put towards the costs of this Celebration of Life, to make it the best it can possibly be!

The Sacred Ordinary


The quote above is from "The Sacred Ordinary" – Debbie's original blog where she wrote about "motherhood, marriage, food, the Napa Valley, flowers, tea, and romantic fantasy." After she was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer in April of 2010, she started this blog that Mother's Day as a therapeutic tool to journal about her cancer journey. 
Every day for a year, Deb wrote in that blog, and she continued to make entries through June of 2021. From May 2010 to now, it has amassed hundreds of thousands of page views and a flood of love, support, and thank-you's from thousands of cancer sisters from around the world.

Debbie had always talked about her desire to expand the reach of her blog through publishing so she could help more cancer sisters around the world. We want to make this a reality by self-publishing "The Sacred Ordinary" blog as a cancer patient support book, pamphlet, and e-book in honor of Deb. Our hope is to work with the American Cancer Society and other organizations to have it distributed as a part of their "Survivors' Package" given to newly diagnosed cancer patients.

Deb's legacy lives on in all of us, as her friends and family, but it also lives in the thousands of words she composed in her blog. By publishing "The Sacred Ordinary," Deb will continue to help cancer sisters around the world, and reach new patients that may never have found her otherwise.

A portion of the contributions to this fundraiser will help us start this process, and we will continue fundraising for "The Sacred Ordinary" even after this GoFundMe so we can make her "writer girl dreams" a reality! You can read Deb's blog at www.writergirldreams.com.

Donations to Research for Metastatic Breast Cancer


As most of you know, Deb was a fundraising BEAST. She was a cancer warrior, taking every opportunity to share her story and raise money for cancer research. She was even made an American Cancer Society Hero of Hope for her efforts in helping other patients, spreading awareness, and encouraging the support of cancer research charities.

When Deb was re-diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in 2018, she did some research about her new diagnosis. As it turns out, most of the funds raised in cancer treatment research events like "Relay for Life" are focused on the very newly diagnosed – women at the very beginning of their cancer journey, like Deb was in 2010. But now, rediagnosed eight years later, she learned that only a small amount of funds raised go towards research for metastatic patients like herself. 

Deb would go on to say that with metastatic cancer, the ideology of care shifts from "let's figure out how to treat and eliminate your cancer" to "let's just see how long we can keep you alive." This always frustrated her (and us), and she wished that more attention and research would go towards patients whose cancer had recurred.

So, in honor of Deb, a portion of the contributions to this fundraiser will also go towards a cancer research fund – one that specifically focuses on metastatic breast cancer research.

Conclusion

The Clay family would like to thank you all so much for your support at every step of this process. We would not be able to do this without you!