Desperately Seeking Help For Ru

Hello, those who love Ru!

Recently, we have been very distressed to learn that Ru is stuck in an extremely horrific situation in Ireland. She has been silently suffering through the dissolution of her marriage. The man who came to America and brought her back to Ireland has been slowly making life for Ru very scary and isolating. When Ru first moved to Ireland, she found that his family wasn’t very receptive of her and the small community she joined was very inhospitable. She tried to work at three different places and was forced to quit by people in the community who were so rude and harassed her so much that it caused extreme anxiety. Both she and Simon agreed that she could be the primary caregiver for her children until they went to school and she started helping as she could around the farm. A few years ago, Simon finally admitted to his actions towards other women that he had been gaslighting Ru over for years. But now, Simon has actually taken on a girlfriend and the harassment of Ru has become almost unbearable. Ru lives in complete isolation on the 100 acre farm. She has no access or knowledge of any family finances. Simon controls all the money and has to approve the purchases Ru makes before they go through. She only has access to the $280 that she receives directly from the government as a child subsidy. She doesn’t drive. Simon has refused to get her passport renewed up until a few day ago or to even allow their children to get theirs. (Ru has no formal form of ID, so he finally brought her to get her passport photo this last week.) We have offered to pay for these services and for tickets home, and Simon refused to let us-even when members of our extended family had died over the last winter. And his family has refused to list them as tenants so that Ru can’t claim her Irish citizenship. (You need a utility in your name at a permanent address for 3 years and their house still doesn’t qualify.) His mother could have claimed her living there since 2012 but just won’t! Unfortunately, the legal system for divorce in Ireland is long and difficult. Ru and Simon must be legally separated for 3 years before they can be granted a divorce. Due to all of this horrible stress, Ru is having a really hard time. She is an amazing mom and is incredibly caring for her children and only wants to be able to move on from this extremely toxic situation.

Ru needs help! A divorce attorney in Ireland is going to cost her between $8500-20000 pounds. She has no immediate cash flow or savings and is terrified that she has no options. Simon has been mentally abusing her to the point that she doesn’t even feel safe in her home. His gaslighting is continuous.

We are gathering the funds for her so that Simon can’t access them. We want to build her a major safety net. She hopes to stay in their home, but needs legal help to do so. Simon is refusing to get “legally” separated so that he doesn’t have to pay her anything. Instead he is trying to wear her down mentally. Even his girlfriend and family are harassing her.

I am terrified for my sister. We really need help. Even the smallest bit might be what we need to get her the right legal aid and to show her that she is loved and cared about. Right now she is scared and alone.