Disabled and Seeking Support

From the start of my working on a Master's degree until the mid-2010s, I had a very good career. Teaching college students to write poetry like I did, getting to volunteer on the side including by teaching kids in Kenya, and publishing my writing. A highlight of publication was having a poem in the Best American Poetry anthology, published nationwide.

There's something I didn't know: I have complex PTSD. Anxiety attacks and insomnia, starting in 2010 or 2011, seemed to me to just be from stress. But in 2016, I had a breakdown, overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts, and I had no idea why. Thank God I got into a safe place, where a counselor started talking with me about trauma.

Since then, I have been blessed by a series of very good therapists who have been helping me with healing--deep healing I didn't know I needed. The healing, the processes, take too much out of me for me to work a steady schedule, or more than a few hours here and there. The exploring of cognitive roots of the PTSD, feeling long-buried emotional pain at last, and going through both of those again and again--it's maybe been the hardest journey of my life so far.

It's completely worth it, not only for my own healing, but because I have been blessed to share about my journey, on social media, with many friends and family members; I hope it has helped others who have trauma too. So many of them have been helping me financially--I don't know where I would be without that. Unfortunately, the ones who have given me so much can only do so much, especially as the US economy and social programs get impoverished. I don't know how many Americans have lost SNAP (food stamps) like me, have found charities too strapped to give much like I found, and may be facing more of these obstacles.

Hopefully disability won't be cut, and I hope my claim will get accepted; I am maybe 18 months into the process of applying and appealing. Really, I hope my recovery will continue to the point where I can do the teaching that I love.

For now, I am seeking any help I can get with rent (the $325 so graciously given to me in this gofundme so far helped keep my electricity and phone on) and bills, including for food. Thank you for considering it.