Donate to Help a Nurse in Need

Hello, my name is Sarah and I created this gofundme for one of my best friends. Lauren and I worked together as nurses on a postpartum unit for 3+ years and became close friends instantly.

Lauren is an energetic, adventurous, passionate, loving person who always had a smile on her face and made her patients feel at ease and well cared for. So when she first got COVID in January 2022, both of us thought she would bounce right back. But, when she started exercising again a month later, she knew something wasn't right. Lauren met with her doctor and found out she had Pericarditis (inflammation around the heart) and POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) both induced by COVID. So, she stopped exercising at the gym and continued working and walking her dog, thinking it would go away on its own. Until one night around 3 am, she woke up feeling like she was having a heart attack- her heart rate was 165. After that night, it was a challenge for her to walk up stairs, shower, cook, clean, or walk her dog. Her doctor ordered her to rest and she ultimately had to resign from her position at work.

After a couple of months, she started to feel better. She moved to Colorado and began working on a labor and delivery/postpartum unit. She loved living in a small mountain town and working at a critical access hospital. But, in July she ended up getting COVID for the second time, had another near-syncopal episode, and was diagnosed with Pericarditis, POTS, as well as Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). Her doctor suggested taking time off to rest and not push her heart any further. She needed to move to a lower elevation for her heart and lungs and resigned from her position in August. Determined to continue to work to pay off medical bills, student loans, and have money to live, Lauren decided her symptoms were improving enough that she could start travel nursing in Denver in September. She was hopeful that she was strong enough to continue working, unfortunately, that was not the case.

In October 2022, Lauren got COVID for the third time and was diagnosed with Long-Haul COVID on top of her previous diagnoses which came with worsening and more serious symptoms. It was the final blow and her body could no longer keep up with her energetic and persevering spirit. Her cardiologist ordered her to be completely off work for the foreseeable future, start cardiac/pulmonary rehab, and to apply for disability. In his words, he said "You may not be able to have the normal life of a 29 or 30-year-old. But you need to take this time to rest and recover so you can have a life as a 31 or 32-year-old." He was blunt and honest. She finally surrendered and realized this was more serious than she had thought. She knew she had to stop pushing herself or else she could do permanent damage to her heart and body.

During this downtime, Lauren started cardiac/pulmonary rehab and created a birth photography business. She was worn out from rehab but wanted to still serve the birthing community and utilize her skills and passion for birth and photography. She was hoping it would allow her to make some money while better managing her symptoms. However, her first photography session put her in a flare-up for two weeks and she struggled with editing photos during that time. She realized her stamina would not allow her to do more than one birth a month and that editing photos took more energy than she was able to give. So although she is still hopeful to do more birth photography sessions in the future, right now, she has to focus on healing.

Lauren is continuing to rest and taking it one day at a time. In her words "I have to take it one day at a time or else I will get ahead of myself wishing I could do more and end up sliding down into a dark place that I don't want to be in. One day I may feel good enough to cook a meal, shower, and take my dog for a short walk, but then the next day it may be too painful and difficult to get out of bed. All that said, I am still thankful for this chapter in my life as I learn patience, grace, and self-compassion. I am learning to take things slow and steady so that one day I can have a normal life again. In the meantime, if I can help someone stop and smell the roses, stop taking life for granted and live their best life every day, then, this will all have been worth it."

It is heartbreaking to watch my best friend who used to be so active and full of life struggle to get out of bed and care for herself due to her symptoms. And it's frustrating to know that disability can take up to a year to be approved all while she is stressing about money. So, that is why I created this account- in the hope that it will relieve some of her financial stress so she can stop trying to work and focus on recovering. She made it clear to me that there are others in the world who need more help than her, but I think she is deserving too.

If you are willing and able, please donate whatever you are comfortable giving, it is very much appreciated and helpful. These donations will be used to pay for medical bills, food, and living expenses.

Thank you.

Sarah

November 2023 Update from Lauren:

I was doing one birth/newborn photography session a month to still serve the birthing community that I am so passionate about and to better manage my symptoms (I was able to manage symptoms better by doing photography than hands-on doula support or nursing). It didn't even feel like work because I enjoyed it so much! Until the photography sessions started causing flare-ups (worsening of symptoms - to the point of not being able to shower, cook, walk my dog, etc.). So, I had to take a step back and re-prioritize my life again. I had to focus on healing first before I could serve others. This lead me to offering partner support classes to doula clients since I was unable to attend births or do much else at that time. But that eventually lead to more flare-ups because turns out even talking and standing make my heart rate increase to the point of feeling like passing out or throwing up (my HR goes up to the 160s when standing sometimes). So, I began slowly but surely creating courses that I could easily distribute online without meeting in-person since everything else ended up in flare-ups. Although it was slow going due to needing lots of rest breaks and feeling crummy, I am super excited to see where this all goes in the future once I am feeling better. And even more excited to continue healing, building strength and stamina, and be able to get out, be more active and work again.

At one point I tried door dashing, and did two photography sessions in a month and started applying for nursing jobs even though I knew I wasn’t ready because I was stressing about money… but that all ended up putting me in worsening flare ups. And I needed to take some time to rest.

I keep trying to push myself, thinking I’ll heal faster if I try harder… but it’s doing the opposite. So I think I have finally learned to slow down… But it’s difficult when I am still waiting for disability to be approved, almost a year later. I know it will be approved, my healthcare team is on my side and fully supportive (they are the ones who suggested disability in the first place) but this waiting period has me stressed out! So I am learning patience and how to trust in the divine plan of it all. Knowing everything will work out and I will get through this.

Longhaul Covid and POTS changed my life. It has undoubtedly taken things away… I am not able to live the life I once did. But, I have gained so much more. I am grateful for all the things this slower chapter has taught me. Every tear brings healing. Every breath brings peace. And it makes me all the more excited for the beautiful chapters to comes

Know that it is okay to cry, it’s okay to feel frustrated, defeated and down. Embrace it, feel it fully, and let it go. Burn and rise from the ashes once more. Know that healing is not linear, healing is not black and white. Healing is not the same for everyone. Do what YOU need to do to heal, to be the best version of You - whatever that looks like for You. And one day, You will come back stronger and more capable than You ever thought possible. Believe it, feel it, make it happen one step at a time, one breath at a time.

My healing journey has been challenging, beautiful, awful, inspiring, frustrating, and transformative. It has changed me forever. But in a way that will someday allow me to share what I have learned with others. And I am so excited for that day to come.

A huge thank you to all who have shown love. I don't know where I would be without all the love and the support from everyone who have been checking in on me, praying, sending words encouragement, and donating. I have been humbled and cried many tears because I used to feel so unworthy of this outpouring of love and support. I am eternally grateful to everyone who has supported me mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially along my healing journey. Thank you just does not do justice.

Cheers to continued healing and never giving up!

All the best, all the love

Lauren

January 2024 Update From Lauren:

Getting stronger every month thanks to your continued well wishes, prayers and support, my doctors, cardiac/pulmonary rehab, yoga therapy, breathwork, IV infusions, acupuncture, chiropractic care, finally using a shower chair (found a free one!), and learning how to better pace my activities.

After a doctors appointment in December, it was decided that cardiac/pulmonary rehab was too much for my body to start doing again, and that beta blockers would only make my condition worse, and thus were not recommended. More tests and appointments were ordered - two being physical therapy and occupational therapy which will help with building stamina and being able to lift my arms over my head without feeling like passing out, showering, cooking, grocery shopping (thank goodness for pickup groceries!), walking longer distances, and other various activities that I have difficulties with during flare ups. I am excited to get that started and that insurance will cover it!

During my physical therapy assessment and functional capacity assessment (to determine if I can go back to work safely) it was found that I have some hyper mobility and possible Ehlers Danlo Syndrome. Although more testing is needed, it was nice to receive information that helps explain the pain and muscle weakness I had been experiencing, along with a game plan of how to keep progressing and getting stronger. I don’t have much more information at the moment, but I will continue to share as I learn more about this next chapter in my healing journey.

My last photography session was in November - which I am so thankful for, for many reasons. But it did cause a flare up and it took me a little longer than anticipated to get the photos edited and sent to the family due to the varying symptoms. Since then I have been slowly packing up the apartment and getting ready to move down the mountain some more since my body does better at lower elevation. And I have been gifted the opportunity to learn more about patience as I work through the recurring flare ups that come with the exertion of moving. But! I am able to do way more now than I could months ago - I am seeing major progress and I am excited for continued healing and building strength. Baby steps. One day at a time - one breath at a time.

Thank you again for all the love and support. I truly am humbled and grateful beyond words for the outpouring of well wishes, prayers and donations. It has been over a year and disability still has not gone through - but I am confident that it will be approved soon. But until then, it has been a blessing to receive financial help. As you know, some treatments are not covered by insurance, so I have had to cut back on what has helped me recover due to funding. But because of your help, I can pay for bills, food, and continue on my POTS and Longhaul Covid healing journey - doing what I can with what I have to make a full recovery. I don’t know where I would be without the love and support of you all. Thank you is an understatement. God is good and I continue to learn patience and trusting in the divine timing of it all.

All the best, all the love,

Lauren

June 2024 Update from Lauren:

Wowee! What a transformative six months. For those of you who don’t know, my boyfriend and I moved to Nebraska to help his family. What I didn’t know is how much it would help me too.

The lower elevation and more time to rest has made quite the difference! I am able to go for walks with my cane instead of using a walker, I can cook and shower more often - although standing too long and washing my hair are still a bit tricky (POTS thing). Nebraska Medicaid came through and I have a primary care doctor again and am starting PT/OT! So I don’t have to move back to Colorado to get medical care, (yay!). It was found that I also have vestibular hypofunction after doing a “tilt test” of sorts (I can’t remember the actual name of the test), that is apparently common for people healing from Longhaul covid. This helps explain some of my light headedness, dizziness, nausea, difficulty turning in bed and changing positions, and worsening symptoms whilst going from sitting/standing/bending. Both the physical therapist and occupational therapist are confident that PT/OT will be beneficial and I will see continued improvement. Starting out with PT/OT twice a week and aquatic PT once a week. I am thankful to have a medical team who wants to help me build my foundation of health and wellness rather than push pills (to those who have suggested it, yes, I have tried beta blockers to help my heart rate but it dropped my HR to the 40’s so my docs and I decided to discontinue that) and excited to have enough energy to start rehab again without pushing it too hard too fast like I did in cardiac/pulm rehab - building my strength and stamina back up one step at a time, one breath at a time!

It has been a journey. But one I am thankful for as it has opened the door to a new life of health and wellness, humbled me and strengthened my relationship with God unlike anything I have experienced thus far in my life. I know there is a divine plan in all of this and I hold on to the belief that I will make a full recovery and come back stronger than I was before.

Words cannot describe how thankful I am to my boyfriend, Zach and his family for all their love and support. I would not have been able to recover and make this much progress without them. Thank you for everything! I wish I had the words to describe the depths of my gratitude and love for you.

I would also not be where I am without all of the love, support, well wishes, prayers, and donations from all you beautiful people. And Sarah, who made all this possible. Thank you, thank you! There are many others out there in more need than I - I am truly blessed and hope to pay it forward someday - but I am eternally grateful for the help as well because it has allowed me to focus on my health and recovery. To all the donors - named and anonymous - thank you - you have helped pay for medical bills, treatments, gas, and food. As many of you know, insurance doesn’t cover certain treatments that are proven beneficial - IV hydration being one of them. Although I have taken a step back due to cost, the treatments I did (B-Complex (100mg B1, 2mg B2, 100mg B3, 2mg B6), Vitamin C (1000mg), Calcium (200mg), Magnesium (200mg) and Double Dose Glutathione (800mg)) helped me tremendously when I was really struggling (even tho I have increased my water and electrolyte intake) and it wouldn’t have been possible without your help.

I have now seen multiple providers through social security disability and am confident that disability will be approved sooner than later. I don’t plan on staying on disability forever (I wouldn’t wish this experience on anyone) - just until I recover and can make an income again. But first, working on being able to function as a normal human again. I am doing what I can with what I have to heal as best I can and I am excited to see the progress!

A full recovery is on the horizon - one step at a time. I used to rush myself or think if I pushed myself and said “I’ll be better in 3 months” I would be. And oh how I wanted it to be true. People/docs/friends have said “you’re handling all this really well” as they saw my “brave face” and smile. But in reality, I used to struggle with it all. I was in a dark place for a time as I navigated my situation. I didn’t want to express that to anyone though because everyone is dealing with something and I didn’t want to be more of a burden to anyone else by expressing how difficult all of this had been. I used to feel trapped in my body - cabin fever is a great way to describe it. Wanting to be able to function as a normal human - shower, get dressed, cook, eat, clean, walk, bend, stand, lift, sleep - do all the activities I used to be able to do - horseback riding, rock climb, raft, kayak, hike, camp, paraglide, road trip, attend birthday parties, weddings, funerals, serve the birthing community as a nurse, doula, and photographer… I wanted my life back and I was grieving the loss of the life I thought I was going to live. But what I didn’t know at the time was, my life wasn’t actually over, it was just beginning. As cliche as it sounds - in that darkness I found the light. My own light and God’s light. What a transformation, and lesson in patience, self love, compassion, grace, letting go of control, and trusting in God this journey has been. And thankfully I have loved ones and community and have been able to confide with those closest to me as well as participate in prayer, meditation, therapy, wellness sessions, breathwork, acupuncture, chiropractic care, massage, yoga therapy - which has helped me get to where I am now - able to do PT/OT while also growing closer to God through it all.

Knowing and trusting that whatever I can do with the energy I have in the moment is enough. It’s not worth pushing myself into flareups just to get something done in that moment to try and feel “normal” and then have to take days or weeks to recover after that flareup. Taking things slower - at my own pace - one breath at a time - because that’s all any of us can do. The simplicity of it all is beautiful. One step at a time.

Alan Watts said - “all one needs is food, shelter and companionship. Everything else is a bonus.” I have many bonuses to be thankful for. I am blessed and thankful to be able to wake up and live the life I am living with beautiful people by my side who I love. God is good!

If anything resonates, I hope this does; love and live your life to the fullest every day, in whatever way you can - even if it’s simply sitting to enjoy a cup of tea in the morning sun. Practice gratitude daily, look for the glimmers, and watch how your world changes. Meet yourself where you are at and give yourself grace and love so you can do the same for others. Be kind, be love everywhere you go. And don’t give up. One step at a time, one breath at a time.

Know that whatever you are facing, you are not alone. Ask for help when you need it - God, self, family, friends, partners, therapist, counselor, doctor, nurse, nutritionist, yoga therapist, community resources, department of health and human services, insurance company, Medicaid, food stamps. Don’t sit in silence while drowning because you don’t want to be a bother - reach your hand up, cry out, ask for help and someone will answer. You are not alone!

Thank you for your continued support as I continue to heal and get stronger.

All the best, all the love,

Lauren

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40: 29-31

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

So there is hope for your future declares the Lord. Jeremiah 31:17

My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:7

Be still, and know what I am God. Psalm 46:10

For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end. Psalm 48:14

And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me. Palm 50:15

”Reflect upon this simple statement: “He who is of few needs, and easy to serve, swiftly finds peace, and is already close to happiness.”

The more complicated we make ourselves, the more complicated is our idea of ourselves, the more we will perceive our needs to be, the more of a burden we will be to this planet, while we spend our time here pursuing those needs.

The truth is, the only real needs are food, shelter, and companionship, and everything else is a bonus. One who is content with food, shelter, and companionship treads lightly on this world and swiftly gets to the point where they have something to give back.

But one who is not content with that, who feels they need an extraordinary elaborate array of things in their lives to feel their life is meaningful, makes an awful ruckus in their time upon this planet.

Somebody asked me “Do we all have inside of us, that pure part, that pure consciousness?” and the answer is “Yes.””

— Philosophy of Alan Watts

July 2024 Update from Lauren

Physical and occupational therapy are going well! Getting stronger every week. Some days are more difficult than others - depending on pain, strength, stamina/energy levels. I am humbled when 70-80 year olds can do more than me, but I know that I will get there too. One day at a time, one breath at a time. I am enjoying it, especially PT in the pool - it feels easier - until I get out of the pool and feel super crummy and like I weigh 1000 pounds. As they say, no pain no gain! I am thankful to be pushed enough to get stronger, but not too much to where I am in a constant flareup - all about balance. It is exciting to continue building a strong foundation of health and wellness. I am going to come back stronger and healthier than ever!

Disability was denied - having a typo (on their end) saying I had para colitis instead of pericarditis. They also did not look at my PT eval from CO nor my doctors appointments and PT/OT since moving to Nebraska. So I will be appealing their denial and ask them to take a look at more recent appointments/therapy and to fix the typo. A year ago, I would have been stressed out about this denial and probably crying out of frustration. These days, I know it will all work out. I am grateful for Zach and his fam who have gone above and beyond to provide for me. And I am thankful for you all and the prayers, well wishes, donations, check-ins, positive healing vibes, memes, community - all of it, all of you, thank You!

Let the adventure continue!

All the best, all the love,

Lauren