Donations for Debt Relief, Current Bills and Food

Hi, my name is Alice and I am a 34 year old transwoman. I am also a disabled paramedic that has worked for AHSEMS for 8 years. I love being a paramedic but the job, and covid, and life... May have won this battle. I can't do it anymore. I acknowledge that. I failed. That doesn't mean that life doesn't go on, but unexpectedly... it does mean that I am stuck. I have 3 children and our goal is to raise funds to keep our stable housing as I have lost my disability assistance and am currently trying to look for work that can accommodate my recent diagnoses of Fibromyalgia. I am also applying on AISH and CPPD and have the medical forms filled out, but my trans affirming doctor (and family physician) are in Calgary. It's basically impossible to find a family doctor locally, so it has been kind of hell for timing and appointment, and just existing. Especially since the insurance for the van ran out Mid January, and I can't afford it anymore anyways. I have been off work for the better part of 2 years as I go along my disability journey, and it has been a trying time for my family. My partner is currently separated from me and has not been working either, and we have been homeless twice in these last 2 years. I have also had to put my middle child in 3 different schools in that time, and my youngest twice. Having moved a lot as a child myself, I wish to break that cycle but I broke first. I currently have a place to live, but I also have to fight with my benefit company in order to get back the funding I am rightfully due to be receiving for my disability. So the odds/stress that we end up losing this place keep mounting up. The bills are always at risk of being behind, and I am grateful I have always been conscious of debt so haven't accumulated a ton like some people. That doesn't keep a roof over my head or pay the bills though. I hope one day to find a job that matches the level of output I can give but right now I am not able.

I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia by my doctor. It has been... a trying 2 years. I only found out that that was the issue, this fall. I am learning, and adapting, but much like with my transition, and ADHD... it takes time, and it's hard. I have done so much work on my mental health and am mentally in a strong place, but my body doesn't agree with me. I get moving for 2 hours at a time and then need a minimum of 30 minutes of laying down and resting before I can get up and stretch out, and get something else done... which just puts me back in bed again. I have been doing everything in my power to avoid the inevitability of me not going back to work as a paramedic, but I need to face the music here. I am not fit for that type of job anymore... and don't have the energy or physical capacity for a regular job either. I am worn down. The reality of that has been, crushing to me. I have always been a hard worker and willing to go the extra mile to get the job done, and now I have to make the effort to not do that. It's been hard, sobering, and ultimately amazing. I love my life and I love my family. I just need some help making sure that I can still support them in having a safe and comfortable life until I get better. The fibro flare ups have been intense. I can't caffeinate or else I end up in a flare up, and then I end up bed locked for a day or two and that is, unacceptable to me as a parent. The two youngest kids are in my care full time. They need their momma around. Anyways I've got a brain that never stops, and always make plans, but ultimately I can't work right now. So here I am. FINALLY biting the bullet and getting over my internalized stigma that asking for help is for other people. It's not. It's for people in need and I am one of them at this time.

I set the goal to give us a hope at having some breathing room for a couple months, as well as pay off the debts listed below. I need the funds in order to pay for groceries, rent, household bills, and if I can eventually... take some classes, or courses that can get me certifications for things I can already do, or fund me getting some of my own products made and starting my own business. I don't have the energy to get into a regular workforce job again. I need to set my own time and hours, and also have my 2 kids fulltime, with no childcare, no help from family... just me, and my kiddos. Unfortunately I need to scrounge in order to pay for what we need. I can't just... Our household bills are reasonably low at around $2000 a month. I don't get very much a month from the benefit company and they are going to cut me off Feb 2nd, and I won't get anything until after some sort of agreement between us is reached. This is terrifying enough to get a gofundme made... let alone expect it to do well... I just, don't have any other way right now. It's me... and this thing, and what little bit my co-parent can manage to send me trying to live in Calgary so our oldest can go to the only trans-inclusive school we have been able to find. The poor boy can't do the bullying in public school anymore. My mom paid for his schooling and it was the best blessing to ever happen to our family. Even if it did maybe cost me being able to spend my time with it. It's worth it though, because he is in a better place. I deal with harassment all the time on my FB page Ask Momma Alice too, as a transwoman... All I share is positivity, and recipe's, and I answer peoples questions... Yet any picture I post ends up swamped in laughs, or mean comments, or people telling me to unalive myself... It's not fair. I can succeed. I'm going to make a change and help people see that trans people are good people, so I continue, but it's still not fair. Especially as someone who constantly needs to ask for help.

I appreciate you if you read through this. I don't know what else to say, but Thank You for taking the time to read this. Even if you don't end up donating anything.

Much Love

Alice ✌