Donovan’s (Donny’s) road to recovery.

Fentanyl has found our family. True story.

How and where do I begin?

Well, I suppose the answer to that is to share our family's living nightmare. It’s raw and long but our truth.

On December 22nd, around 10:45 am, while out shopping for groceries for Christmas dinner, I received a phone call from one of our daughters where she said "mom, someone is here and wants to speak with you". I could tell immediately her tone was off.

I'm thinking maybe a neighbor came by or maybe an old friend is at her job if she ended up taking a shift while I ran my holiday errands, and wants to say hello?..

I couldn't have been more wrong.

As soon as I said "okay", two SDPD officers jumped on the call introduced themselves, and immediately stated that they were responding to an overdose.

I stayed quiet for a second or two, then responded that they might be at the wrong house because they were with one of our kids and the other is working; They interrupt me, confirmed our address, and say it was for a 17-year-old male with our son's name and ID. He had overdosed and had no vitals upon arrival of PD and medics were currently attempting to resuscitate him and would be transferred to a local hospital.

In line to pay for my groceries, the clerk asked if I was okay. She asked if I needed medical help.

I ran out of the market crying and hysterical. My whole body shaking violently, and my legs felt like they couldn't support me. I called Sam immediately. He was working at a client's home when I had to deliver the devastating news. Through my tears, sobbing, screaming my prayers to God, petitioning for Him to save my child, "honey, Donny overdosed and I don't know if he's alive or if he will make it, please get to the hospital. leave. leave now!"

I'm, so scared, so desperate, and never have I felt this incredible pain erupt through my entire body. I felt cold, shaky, dizzy, nauseous, thoughts racing, screaming to the ether, directly to our son's heart, baby please stay with us, we're on our way, I love you, I love you, I love you! Please don't go. NOOO!!!

My mama heart was shattered. Will we live a parents worst nightmare?!

So much had to happen in such a short amount of time on my drive to the hospital. Sam and I are franticly making calls to our closest family and friends to let them know and for any and all hands on deck to protect our girls at home. Boy, did they ever show up for us! wow! ( We love you guys, you know who you are).

Arriving at the hospital fearing the worst, we were pleasantly surprised but still absolutely in a state of shock, we were notified that our son was alive and well. We would discover that what saved our son was the medics' use of Narcan (Naloxone) once they discovered that the case was an OD and not a seizure as it was allegedly reported on a 911 call.

We arrived at the hospital and our son was totally "fine". Fine in the way that he did not suffer any permanent damage, was breathing on his own, and actually had no recollection of what had occurred and quite honestly, he was being a jerk. so, that kind of "ok".

Our story happened like reading a book where you find out the middle and end and the beginning eventually makes its way around.

Sorry, if it's a bit tough to keep up. I am sharing in the order of events as we knew them to be when we learned of this horrible living nightmare.

Once the dust settled a bit, this is what we learned:

We found out that our son and two other 17-year-old boys were all vaping (weed) and were going to do what they believed to be cocaine. Our son was the first (and would be the only) to do a line of cocaine because he did that line or bump, the effects hit him immediately. That cocaine wasn't cocaine, it was fentanyl. Those other two boys really lucked out. Our son immediately fell back, breathing changed, eyes rolled back, he began seizing, and gurgling, and his saliva turned foamy and was unresponsive when called, or his cheeks slapped.

The two teens panicked, they were shaking him, slapping his cheeks telling him to stop messing around and wake up. Donny’s breathing was very slow and shallow to the point where one of the boys began breathing in his mouth for him. One of the boy's mom was asking what was going on in the room when she opened the door and saw the state of our son. The boys told her it was a seizure. It was not. It was actually an overdose but they were afraid to tell her they were smoking weed and going to do drugs. The mom jumped into action. The lady pulled our son off the chair and onto the floor. They called 911, where they were instructed on how to perform CPR. At this point, the fear and shock were in full effect and they took turns doing CPR and chest compressions on our son until the medics arrived. Our 17-year-old son's body lay lifeless. CPR was no longer working. That mom scooped him up and told him to hang on, told him he wasn't alone and knows his family loves him. They tried CPR again and now several minutes later, the first responders arrived and Immediately upon seeing our son's lifeless body on the floor, they knew immediately that this was an OD and not a seizure. Narcan was administered immediately and he was stabilized in the ambulance and transported to the hospital.

There were so many moving parts and we knew none of them until arriving at the hospital where we would learn a little here and there bit now to be able to sit back now, a week later to put the puzzle pieces together, or read the book from start to finish is where we stand now.

We're all going to be in family and individual therapy because this was a life-changing event for us as a unit, but also individually. Not a single one of us made it out unscathed. I still have nightmares of receiving that call and every iteration of it in my night terrors. I've yet to have a dream where he makes it. Ugh, I hate this!

In my night terrors, he doesn't make and in each scenario, the news is bad to worse. I am an incredibly broken person and mom right now. I feel like I lost him, even though I got to hug him, caress his face and tell him more times than he cares to hear, that I love him. We love him. We cannot tell our kids too much that we love them.

It's a feeling of mourning, but maybe more like an ambiguous loss, because he's still here and I know people don't always have this as their story.

I won't share Sam's or the girl's processing because that's for them to share if they feel like it. That is their personal journey but they are self-aware enough to know that this situation requires professional help because this is above our pay-grade and have never had to go through anything of this magnitude.

If you're asking yourself what happened to Donovan and where is he now, the answer is, he got a second chance at life and gets a do-over, if you will.

He was sent to a rehab facility to get the mental, physical, and social-emotional support he needs so that he can really take in what happened and hopefully become the best version of himself, even if it looks different than what we had in mind for him. He's at a place that works on healing the whole person from the inside out, a place where there is a lot of support 24/7, education, therapy, accountability, and brotherhood of young men who can better understand him where he is because they know this journey too.

It is our greatest hope that our son can truly appreciate his life and love himself and see the quality young man we know he is.

This overdose is only part of his story and journey, it does not define him. Nor does it define us as parents. Donovan is kind, thoughtful, likable, generous, and talented in so many ways. He is our boy. We know the cloth from which he is made, we know the foundation and morals we have not only taught but mirrored. At the end of the day, he is his own autonomous being, which we want for him. He doesn't have to fit into any mold. He will reap the rewards of his goodness and also pay the price for poor choices, as he is learning in a very real and painful way.

As his mother and a person who loves with my whole heart, I want others to remember to meet people where they are with compassion and dignity.

I want you to know that the opioid/fentanyl epidemic does not discriminate. It’s here and it’s getting worse. Just watch the news, read your local paper, your newsfeed, it’s the mega-rich to homeless. In our case, 3 curious upper middle-class/middle-class teens screwing around making poor a choice that maybe 10-15 years ago, would be a secret they could keep for years to come. Not so much in 2022, 23, and who knows how long this drug crisis will continue. Today's stories are changing to more and more accidental overdoses/ poisoning. These kids think they're invincible and it will not be them. They're experimenting by taking prescription drugs or cocaine, and in that decision, their lives are over or changed forever. So many deaths from trying something they ordered or tried for the first or maybe 3rd time (or whatever number it is), from certain very popular social media platforms, and a family is now planning a funeral and discovering their loved one was doing or tried drugs. This was moments from being a different outcome for us. The Tallo's you know and love were nearly going to plan a funeral for our 17-year-old son for Christmas. Our girls almost didn't have a brother to fight with or get into typical sibling mischief, or boss around or even ask to reach some thing for them.

We are fortunate that we have a story where our son lives and is able to make changes in his life, that we can love in person, we can still hug him and tell him how stupid his choice was but how very grateful we are that we can move forward as a family. We must heal at home while he is away at rehab as he does his own healing, he must heal his whole person from the inside out and its is, he, who is in control of how much or little work he will invest in himself and his future. I long for the day that we can reunite, and God willing, we all be a better version of ourselves, stronger, grounded, loving, peaceful firecrackers that we all are.

Our family is not and never has been shy to have hard conversations about the not-so-great things that can harm our children/ family.

We have had tough conversations on drugs, fentanyl specifically, and the dangers of posting and sharing certain things on any and all social media platforms that cannot be taken back and are never really gone, no matter how hard they may try to delete or cover their tracks. Those posts exist for someone/an agency. We've had the talks of sex, sexuality, and mental health and have long provided an environment of safety for any and all who cross our lives and enter our home but most importantly our children. Yet, this story of an overdose is our life. Right here, Right now.

Our whole family is in recovery in one form or another as we heal.

Please send our family love, prayers, high vibrations, well wishes, and encouragement as we fight this fight together.

Friends, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but we would encourage you to get your hands on Naloxone (Narcan) to have in your home or on your person to potentially save a life.

If it is not an overdose, nothing will happen when administered. If it is indeed an overdose, it could be a lifesaver if given in enough time. There are places you can get it for free or low cost. I didn't know we needed it until we did. Had the family where Donny overdosed had it in their home, maybe, just maybe one of those boys could have helped sooner, or the mom. Save the life, ask questions later and love always.

It saved our sons life. I hope to never have to use it but would much rather have it for your loved one or a kid taking pills in a Rite Aid, Panera, or Mcdonald's bathroom, because your family deserves that second chance, too.

We're not ashamed to share our story. Please don't be ashamed for us. Our son made the choices he made on his own accord and has not a single thing to do with how he was raised or his upbringing as some judgy mcjudgy-faces may be snickering. We’re not here to convince others whether or not we’re good or bad parents. Our son made a massively stupid choice and this is the largest consequence and learning opportunity of his life that he/we will all grow from.

We're happy that this is not a story of death but that of a second chance.

Those of you who were already aware of our situation and helped us make calls to approximately 75-100 rehab facilities all over the map. Sent us food even when we couldn't eat, and gave us the much-needed space to process and take care of the many things that needed to be done to make all of our collective efforts fruitful, thank you. Thank you to those who did not guilt us for wanting to be alone and not in a celebratory mood for the holidays. The holidays were the absolute hardest and worst for us. Thank you for living the meaning of friendship, family, community, and grace. You made this very difficult situation easier for us when we were finally able to sit back and rest our hearts a bit and truly begin our path to healing, understanding, and repairing the fractured but absolutely salvageable unit. The Tallo's are currently under construction.

Help:

So many people are asking how you can help. Initially all we had the capacity for was to ask to help make calls and keep praying for our family.

Now the dust has settled, and the bills are coming in and piling up every day and we're paying out-of-pocket for all expenses and are quickly being swallowed alive by the mounting costs of literally everything, and every day it's something else we have to pay.

We've had to get a second insurance since our insurance won't cover a penny for the rehab. We have our son in the facility we felt is best and most beneficial for him and have no regrets about that.

We have already paid $9K just to get him in the door and on a holiday where all other facilities were closed, at capacity, he was too young or not staffed to take in a new patient. We had to make a move quickly. Time was not on our side and the hours were slipping away.

We were astonished to learn the cost of rehab, or even to get your loved one in the door. We are fortunate that to some degree we could at least afford to get him in and into an excellent program at a fraction of the price of other rehab facilities.

Our out-of-pocket is quickly approaching $60K. For all who have offered to send us food or coffee, take us to dinner, or friends-date or asked how you can help, might I ask that perhaps you use that generosity and kindness and apply it to our son's journey for his rehab?This is where your kindness and offers can be most beneficial.

We're also going to try to do a fundraiser of sorts (this may look like Mama Mo in the kitchen hooking up some taco plates).

For now, this GFM campaign and our Venmos should you decide to donate.

@Sam-Tallo-2

@Monique-Tallo

Zelle

Thank you for your love, well wishes and continued support.

The Tallo family