Drive to Thrive Help Get Ben Back Behind the Wheel
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For those short on time, I sustained a spinal cord injury in 2009 at the age of 20 in a diving accident in a farm pond in my home state of Iowa. That accident resulted in “incomplete quadriplegia” meaning I have no functional movement from the chest down and am dependent on a wheelchair to go about my life. I have limited sensation below my neck injury which also limits my ability to fully use my hands and fingers. Despite this, with the support of family and friends, I have gone on to live a very happy and fulfilling life. My figuring out how to do things differently and creatively as well as using various adaptative technologies have played a part in that, too.
Now, in order to continue to thrive, I need to get back on the road, behind the wheel, in my own car. After my injury, I was hesitant to drive, but now understand that reluctance has only limited my ability to engage fully with the world. One needs accessible, reliable transportation to find and retain work, live even more independently, and get the most out of life!
This is where you come in. I’ve successfully completed training with the Mercy Driver Rehabilitation Program and have been accepted as a client with the Iowa Department of Vocational Rehabilitation, a state agency that helps Iowans with disabilities secure work. The good news is that Vocational Rehab will cover the cost of the extensive vehicle modifications which will allow me to drive again (make sure you check out videos of the modifications in the "what I need section"). Unfortunately, they can’t help their clients obtain the actual vehicles they will require. This is a great opportunity, but without a vehicle, the process is at a standstill.
Simply put, I need help buying a minivan. The modifications I need, due to the nature of my injury, have to go in a late model version that has advanced safety features such as blind spot monitoring, backup cameras/sensors, and adaptive cruise control. If my circumstances were different, I could find and use any old, inexpensive car. But I don’t have that option, which is why you’ve found yourself reading this.
Please consider donating to help get me back on the road. If you do, I’ll be sure to visit!
Background/Update
After my accident, I lived in Ames, Iowa and Denver, Colorado before returning to Des Moines, Iowa the summer of 2015, where I lived in an apartment of my own downtown, which really allowed me to thrive and experience what it was like to live independently.
I completed a Bachelor of Liberal Studies degree from the University of Iowa in December of 2017. The degree interested me because it offered a Health and Human Studies track, and I thought I could use that focus in conjunction with my lived experience to make me appealing to prospective employers. I hope I can continue to work in a field that directly benefits people.
What started out as part-time work at the awesome Wellmark YMCA in downtown Des Moines, eventually turned into my first full time position, initially as the office manager/social media coordinator and then as the member engagement coordinator. There, I met some great people and confirmed that I can absolutely work full time, play an important role in the success of an organization, and find a balance between the challenges my injury presents, finding joy in the work I do, and having time for friends and family.
Naturally, some of my free time was spent considering what my future would look like. For the longest time, I’d thought that finding love and being in a relationship was something beyond my reach. I didn’t know if I would be a good partner and expected that women wouldn’t be interested in me after learning that I used a wheelchair. Despite those insecurities, and not knowing what the outcome would be, I downloaded a few dating apps with limited expectations. In the summer of 2017, I swiped right on a picture of a beautiful young woman named Danica. All I knew was that she was in law school at the University of Iowa, was an aspiring world traveler, and liked books, cocktails, and learning about people. Thinking that I liked all those things, too, I took the leap and asked if she wanted to get together. She said yes, and we met at Hello, Marjorie—a place that will always hold a special spot in our hearts. We had a great time and I was able to convince her to go to dinner with me after drinks (even though she’d arranged to get food with her roommates to give her an out, if she thought I was terrible…). We ate at one of my favorite restaurants, Django, and after I got home, all I could think about was how enthralled I was by her. She was smart, beautiful, charming, funny, empathetic, and more. She still is. We’ve been together ever since.
Dani graduated from law school in the spring of 2019 and was offered a position at Meardon Supple and Downer, a law firm in Iowa City. I, being the adventurous sort and madly in love, couldn’t say yes quickly enough when she asked me if I would be willing to move. Des Moines was so good to me and I met some incredible people and reconnected with friends from all parts of my life who had come to call it and the surrounding area home. Also, being close to my mom and able to see her move on to the next stages of her life was inspiring and really special. I’m forever grateful for that time in my life.
Dani and I have really enjoyed living in Iowa City, despite a good portion of it being in the 2020 Covid period. Going to football games, exploring our downtown neighborhood and being back in a city that holds fond memories for both of us has been fun. I’ve been applying for jobs and have had some interviews but initially had only looked at jobs in locations I could easily get to on my own in my wheelchair or on the bus. This brings the story around again to why I need to get back on the road, behind the wheel, in my own car.
While it might be convenient, I cannot reasonably expect—nor would I want—to live, work, and play in a 5-block radius on completely flat ground for the rest of my life. In truth, I need a van to grow as a person, experience more of life, maintain gainful employment, and equitably contribute to my relationships and to society. The ability to reliably go to work, the grocery store, the doctor’s office (more often than I would like), as well as to do things and be there for others has not been a reality for me for 11 years. I have been fortunate to be surrounded by so many gracious, loving people since I have been injured, who have not given a second thought to putting their lives on hold to help me get to one appointment/obligation, or another. I can’t begin to put into words how thankful I am for you who have made those sacrifices. Now, it is time for me to write a new chapter and reclaim my independence. With this van, you will no longer get a call or text from me asking for a ride. Instead, I’ll be letting you know that I’m on my way to pick you up.
The Process
If you’re curious about everything I’ve gone through to get to this point, I’ll try to break it down here. I’d worked with Vocational Rehabilitation in a limited capacity soon after I got back from my inpatient stay at Craig Rehabilitation Hospital in 2009. At that point they were able to help me get a plan together to return to school. Driving wasn’t on the table yet.
11 years later and as 2020 and the pandemic progressed, I realized that things could be this way for a while. Dani and I decided to move out of our downtown apartment because it did not meet my accessibility needs and the undergrads that lived there were prioritizing partying over safety. My plan to be able to rely on busses to get to job interviews and around town was also upturned, as being around lots of people on a regular basis is too risky. My injury makes me more susceptible to illness and when I do come down with something, it is harder for me to shake. I just cannot afford to take the risk that is associated with public transportation.
Reliable personal transportation would let me safely continue my employment search and let me look for positions at a greater distance than I have currently been looking. I’d always known that Vocational Rehab could potentially help with vehicle modifications, and I reached out to them at the end of July to see what that process looked like. After reaching out, I was connected with Stephanie, who would serve as my Rehabilitation Counselor after I was accepted as a client. After submitting my proof of serious disability, I waited 3 weeks for my intake interview. While I waited, Stephanie suggested I get started with my driver’s training.
I completed that training with Mercy Driver Rehabilitation Program over the last two months. I lucked out by being able to get in so quickly and to drive the vehicle they had, a Chevrolet Impala. Had my disability been any more severe, I wouldn’t have been able to get into the car and the nearest (more comprehensive) driving program is in Illinois. After an initial screening to determine if I was fit to drive, I had to get my learner’s permit again. I passed and was behind the wheel and on the road at my next appointment. Driving was actually more intuitive than I thought it would be and I was comfortable and confident, even though I had essentially no experience with the adaptive equipment.
What I need
After only two training drives, the occupational therapist told me that I had picked up on all she had to teach and it was time to get me in my own van. Stephanie confirmed that the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation was willing and ready to cover the cost of the modifications, but that I first needed to obtain a vehicle. At this point, I’m at a standstill until I can come up a van that accommodates the modifications I need.
The operation of the vehicle is actually pretty standard. As a quadriplegic, I can’t use my hands to grasp the steering wheel. The occupational therapist said I need what is essentially a trucker’s knob with three pins sticking out to turn, and advanced hand controls to work the gas and brake. The hand controls themselves operate as a kind of lever and when pushed away from the driver, activate the brake, and when pulled in, activate the accelerator. Another feature limits the maximum acceleration when driving in town, so I don’t accidentally hit the gas in congested areas. A brake lock lets me hold the brake hands free at a stoplight.
(Similar hand controls, not van modifications.)
The really expensive modifications are the ones that will get me and my wheelchair into and out of the van. One option is a ramp van with power seats that swivel so the driver can get into them. Luckily, I don’t need one of those, because they can cost more than $80,000. The occupational therapist has determined what will work well for me is a lift that comes out of the sliding back passenger door of the van and picks up my chair and brings it into the second-row seating area of the van. While the chair is still outside, I will transfer onto a platform that is at the same level as my wheelchair seat that will raise me up to the level of the van’s seat.
At this point, the van I’m leaning toward is the Chrysler Pacifica. I can get a used, certified vehicle with low mileage, for around my GoFundMe goal of $35,000, that has all of the features I need. Dani and I are excited about the possibility of a vehicle that we both can drive and has the space we need for around town and road trips. The modern features in the Pacifica that would make me safer and more comfortable driver are extensive. Because I don’t have use of my core muscles to easily look around and over my shoulder when getting into and out of parking spaces and changing lanes, parking sensors, 360 degree and backup cameras, blind-spot monitoring, and lane-keep assist will help protect me, fellow drivers and pedestrians.
So, that’s it. That’s the plan. Thank you so much for reading this long version of my story including why I want to drive, the steps I have taken, and how you can help me reach my goal. I hope it resonates with you, and if you feel compelled, please consider making a contribution and sharing my story and fundraiser with your friends and family. Any and all donations received will go toward the purchase/maintenance of, and administrative responsibilities associated with a van. Please reach out if you have any questions or for any other reason. I’d love to hear from you.
For those short on time, I sustained a spinal cord injury in 2009 at the age of 20 in a diving accident in a farm pond in my home state of Iowa. That accident resulted in “incomplete quadriplegia” meaning I have no functional movement from the chest down and am dependent on a wheelchair to go about my life. I have limited sensation below my neck injury which also limits my ability to fully use my hands and fingers. Despite this, with the support of family and friends, I have gone on to live a very happy and fulfilling life. My figuring out how to do things differently and creatively as well as using various adaptative technologies have played a part in that, too.
Now, in order to continue to thrive, I need to get back on the road, behind the wheel, in my own car. After my injury, I was hesitant to drive, but now understand that reluctance has only limited my ability to engage fully with the world. One needs accessible, reliable transportation to find and retain work, live even more independently, and get the most out of life!
This is where you come in. I’ve successfully completed training with the Mercy Driver Rehabilitation Program and have been accepted as a client with the Iowa Department of Vocational Rehabilitation, a state agency that helps Iowans with disabilities secure work. The good news is that Vocational Rehab will cover the cost of the extensive vehicle modifications which will allow me to drive again (make sure you check out videos of the modifications in the "what I need section"). Unfortunately, they can’t help their clients obtain the actual vehicles they will require. This is a great opportunity, but without a vehicle, the process is at a standstill.
Simply put, I need help buying a minivan. The modifications I need, due to the nature of my injury, have to go in a late model version that has advanced safety features such as blind spot monitoring, backup cameras/sensors, and adaptive cruise control. If my circumstances were different, I could find and use any old, inexpensive car. But I don’t have that option, which is why you’ve found yourself reading this.
Please consider donating to help get me back on the road. If you do, I’ll be sure to visit!
Background/Update
After my accident, I lived in Ames, Iowa and Denver, Colorado before returning to Des Moines, Iowa the summer of 2015, where I lived in an apartment of my own downtown, which really allowed me to thrive and experience what it was like to live independently.
I completed a Bachelor of Liberal Studies degree from the University of Iowa in December of 2017. The degree interested me because it offered a Health and Human Studies track, and I thought I could use that focus in conjunction with my lived experience to make me appealing to prospective employers. I hope I can continue to work in a field that directly benefits people.
What started out as part-time work at the awesome Wellmark YMCA in downtown Des Moines, eventually turned into my first full time position, initially as the office manager/social media coordinator and then as the member engagement coordinator. There, I met some great people and confirmed that I can absolutely work full time, play an important role in the success of an organization, and find a balance between the challenges my injury presents, finding joy in the work I do, and having time for friends and family.
Naturally, some of my free time was spent considering what my future would look like. For the longest time, I’d thought that finding love and being in a relationship was something beyond my reach. I didn’t know if I would be a good partner and expected that women wouldn’t be interested in me after learning that I used a wheelchair. Despite those insecurities, and not knowing what the outcome would be, I downloaded a few dating apps with limited expectations. In the summer of 2017, I swiped right on a picture of a beautiful young woman named Danica. All I knew was that she was in law school at the University of Iowa, was an aspiring world traveler, and liked books, cocktails, and learning about people. Thinking that I liked all those things, too, I took the leap and asked if she wanted to get together. She said yes, and we met at Hello, Marjorie—a place that will always hold a special spot in our hearts. We had a great time and I was able to convince her to go to dinner with me after drinks (even though she’d arranged to get food with her roommates to give her an out, if she thought I was terrible…). We ate at one of my favorite restaurants, Django, and after I got home, all I could think about was how enthralled I was by her. She was smart, beautiful, charming, funny, empathetic, and more. She still is. We’ve been together ever since.
Dani graduated from law school in the spring of 2019 and was offered a position at Meardon Supple and Downer, a law firm in Iowa City. I, being the adventurous sort and madly in love, couldn’t say yes quickly enough when she asked me if I would be willing to move. Des Moines was so good to me and I met some incredible people and reconnected with friends from all parts of my life who had come to call it and the surrounding area home. Also, being close to my mom and able to see her move on to the next stages of her life was inspiring and really special. I’m forever grateful for that time in my life.
Dani and I have really enjoyed living in Iowa City, despite a good portion of it being in the 2020 Covid period. Going to football games, exploring our downtown neighborhood and being back in a city that holds fond memories for both of us has been fun. I’ve been applying for jobs and have had some interviews but initially had only looked at jobs in locations I could easily get to on my own in my wheelchair or on the bus. This brings the story around again to why I need to get back on the road, behind the wheel, in my own car.
While it might be convenient, I cannot reasonably expect—nor would I want—to live, work, and play in a 5-block radius on completely flat ground for the rest of my life. In truth, I need a van to grow as a person, experience more of life, maintain gainful employment, and equitably contribute to my relationships and to society. The ability to reliably go to work, the grocery store, the doctor’s office (more often than I would like), as well as to do things and be there for others has not been a reality for me for 11 years. I have been fortunate to be surrounded by so many gracious, loving people since I have been injured, who have not given a second thought to putting their lives on hold to help me get to one appointment/obligation, or another. I can’t begin to put into words how thankful I am for you who have made those sacrifices. Now, it is time for me to write a new chapter and reclaim my independence. With this van, you will no longer get a call or text from me asking for a ride. Instead, I’ll be letting you know that I’m on my way to pick you up.
The Process
If you’re curious about everything I’ve gone through to get to this point, I’ll try to break it down here. I’d worked with Vocational Rehabilitation in a limited capacity soon after I got back from my inpatient stay at Craig Rehabilitation Hospital in 2009. At that point they were able to help me get a plan together to return to school. Driving wasn’t on the table yet.
11 years later and as 2020 and the pandemic progressed, I realized that things could be this way for a while. Dani and I decided to move out of our downtown apartment because it did not meet my accessibility needs and the undergrads that lived there were prioritizing partying over safety. My plan to be able to rely on busses to get to job interviews and around town was also upturned, as being around lots of people on a regular basis is too risky. My injury makes me more susceptible to illness and when I do come down with something, it is harder for me to shake. I just cannot afford to take the risk that is associated with public transportation.
Reliable personal transportation would let me safely continue my employment search and let me look for positions at a greater distance than I have currently been looking. I’d always known that Vocational Rehab could potentially help with vehicle modifications, and I reached out to them at the end of July to see what that process looked like. After reaching out, I was connected with Stephanie, who would serve as my Rehabilitation Counselor after I was accepted as a client. After submitting my proof of serious disability, I waited 3 weeks for my intake interview. While I waited, Stephanie suggested I get started with my driver’s training.
I completed that training with Mercy Driver Rehabilitation Program over the last two months. I lucked out by being able to get in so quickly and to drive the vehicle they had, a Chevrolet Impala. Had my disability been any more severe, I wouldn’t have been able to get into the car and the nearest (more comprehensive) driving program is in Illinois. After an initial screening to determine if I was fit to drive, I had to get my learner’s permit again. I passed and was behind the wheel and on the road at my next appointment. Driving was actually more intuitive than I thought it would be and I was comfortable and confident, even though I had essentially no experience with the adaptive equipment.
What I need
After only two training drives, the occupational therapist told me that I had picked up on all she had to teach and it was time to get me in my own van. Stephanie confirmed that the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation was willing and ready to cover the cost of the modifications, but that I first needed to obtain a vehicle. At this point, I’m at a standstill until I can come up a van that accommodates the modifications I need.
The operation of the vehicle is actually pretty standard. As a quadriplegic, I can’t use my hands to grasp the steering wheel. The occupational therapist said I need what is essentially a trucker’s knob with three pins sticking out to turn, and advanced hand controls to work the gas and brake. The hand controls themselves operate as a kind of lever and when pushed away from the driver, activate the brake, and when pulled in, activate the accelerator. Another feature limits the maximum acceleration when driving in town, so I don’t accidentally hit the gas in congested areas. A brake lock lets me hold the brake hands free at a stoplight.
(Similar hand controls, not van modifications.)
The really expensive modifications are the ones that will get me and my wheelchair into and out of the van. One option is a ramp van with power seats that swivel so the driver can get into them. Luckily, I don’t need one of those, because they can cost more than $80,000. The occupational therapist has determined what will work well for me is a lift that comes out of the sliding back passenger door of the van and picks up my chair and brings it into the second-row seating area of the van. While the chair is still outside, I will transfer onto a platform that is at the same level as my wheelchair seat that will raise me up to the level of the van’s seat.
At this point, the van I’m leaning toward is the Chrysler Pacifica. I can get a used, certified vehicle with low mileage, for around my GoFundMe goal of $35,000, that has all of the features I need. Dani and I are excited about the possibility of a vehicle that we both can drive and has the space we need for around town and road trips. The modern features in the Pacifica that would make me safer and more comfortable driver are extensive. Because I don’t have use of my core muscles to easily look around and over my shoulder when getting into and out of parking spaces and changing lanes, parking sensors, 360 degree and backup cameras, blind-spot monitoring, and lane-keep assist will help protect me, fellow drivers and pedestrians.
So, that’s it. That’s the plan. Thank you so much for reading this long version of my story including why I want to drive, the steps I have taken, and how you can help me reach my goal. I hope it resonates with you, and if you feel compelled, please consider making a contribution and sharing my story and fundraiser with your friends and family. Any and all donations received will go toward the purchase/maintenance of, and administrative responsibilities associated with a van. Please reach out if you have any questions or for any other reason. I’d love to hear from you.
Organizer
Ben U Grauer
Organizer
Iowa City, IA