Duchow Family Accident

(Jared & Ryder reuniting for the 1st time)

I was sleeping soundly shortly after midnight. The phone rang loudly, and I got the call no mother ever wanted to receive. It was my daughter Hillary. She said, “we've been in an accident. It's bad.”

She told me that she, her husband, Jared and their five-year-old son, Ryder, had gone to the Ventura County Fair. They had a wonderful time at the fair, and Ryder won a stuffed toy. He loved it and was holding it tight.

They drove home. Ryder was sleeping happily in his car seat. Jared and Hillary drove home on the 126, reflecting on their great time.

Suddenly a car crossed the road coming straight at them. In the darkness, there was the sound of a million pieces of glass breaking.

Hillary tried to get out of the car, trying hard to push the door open with her shoulder. It wouldn't open. She told me later that thank God she wore her combat boots so that she could kick her way out of the car. Hillary saw her child unconscious, and both Ryder and Jared were bleeding. The car was in shambles, and she was scared that in the dark, they would be hit by other cars that could not see them. She went around to the passenger side and realized that there was an ever-growing pool of blood outside of the car. Hillary realized that this was very bad, and she saw that Jared's right arm was severely injured. She was wearing three layers of shirts. She used one shirt to tourniquet Jared's arm and one to wrap around Ryder's bleeding head. A stranger arrived, and with his help, they used his belt to further cut off the bleeding. Without this action, Jared would have bled to death. Luckily Hillary had her phone, and she called 911.

After experiencing this trauma and seriously hurting her shoulder, Hillary tried to communicate for rescue, flag down help from others and tried to get her family out of the car.

After what seemed like an eternity, help arrived, and it took the jaws of life to remove Jared from the car. Ryder's car seat was so severely twisted that it clearly had saved his life. It was pretty much a miracle that this family survived the accident.

Ryder spent three days in two different hospitals. Initially, they were afraid he had a brain bleed. Hillary stayed by his side.

During the time that Hillary was with Ryder, she was unable to be by Jared's side. Doctors were unable to save his arm, amputating it above the elbow. In addition, he suffered four broken ribs and a tear in his hip muscle.

This has been the saddest story. A cute, innocent family outing to the county fair on a warm summer night ends in a tragedy that will affect them for the rest of their lives.

Ryder has not begun to talk about the accident yet and has been advised to go to therapy. His “hero,” his father, who is the most athletic person I know, is now disabled. Jared was an excellent bowler, soccer player, baseball player and more. At family picnics, he was the one who played frisbee with the kids and tossed his son up in the air. He taught Ryder how to ride his bike, and he fixed everything around the house. And Ryder was heartbroken that his stuffed animal was lost in the accident.

Ryder's first day of kindergarten was the week after the accident, and he had to miss the first few days of school. When he returned, he drew a picture of his family and in it, his father only had one arm. Despite this horrific accident, Ryder earned an award for trying his hardest and helping and being kind to others.

Hillary has suffered tremendously from this accident. A couple of months prior, she had a heart procedure to correct atrial fibrillation. She was diagnosed with this condition at the age of thirty-four, which was extremely young, and this procedure was life-changing. The stress from this situation threatens to reverse her condition. In addition, she had just started an exciting new job, and the entire situation made things very difficult. Hillary and Jared were trying to have a second child, and this accident seems to have shattered that dream. Most dramatically, Jared has lost his dominant arm, transforming his entire life.

I am writing this now because this accident was caused by a nineteen-year-old man who claims he fell asleep repeatedly while driving but failed to pull over. Also, he was driving without insurance.

Hillary and Jared have been so courageous and have been struggling through it. Although they both come from large families, and we have all tried to help, their needs are enormous. They had been very happy with their paid-off car, but it was destroyed in the accident, and they were forced to buy a new car.

Jared has daily phantom limb pain since day one. He may require additional surgery on his hip. His whole life has changed. His job position was changed. He has shown so much resilience and courage. He uncomplainingly is learning to eat and write with his left hand. He spends a significant amount of time attending physical and occupational therapy, and he cannot easily do things that everyone else can, like cut his fingernails or easily wash his left arm. He says, “most things take a lot longer.”

This family has suffered so much and has been so brave in trying to work their way out of this life-transforming nightmare. They have a mountain of medical bills and often cannot sleep at night because of worrying about these.

Most of all, Jared needs a prosthetic arm which sadly is not covered by insurance and is very expensive. He is attempting to get one with a working hand and elbow.

This makes me both sad and mad because Jared actually had his own arm with both a hand and an elbow. I am asking for help for this family because they have not asked for it themselves, but I believe they deserve it.

Thank you for your consideration,

Kathi Studden