Jaxson strong

 Back in April we went in for our last heart surgery with no issues. We thought we were all good to go. Trying to knock it out before jax went into first grade because he passed kindergarten thanks to his amazing teacher Mrs. Arnold. Within two days of admission for pre-op jax tested positive for the original coronavirus and rhinovirus, two MAJOR viruses that attack at peak. We thought it was just another sign to not do surgery because for the past few years every time we went in he tested positive for something, anything, prolonging the surgery. This time was different than anything we could've ever imagined... we were not ready. Within 3 days after testing positive jax's viruses both peaked at the same time causing his lungs and heart to not have enough to fight so he was intubated. Within the next day jax coded and we almost lost him, he was gone almost 2 minutes. Doesn't seem long until it's your baby.. we watched them bring him back until I blacked out from all the crying. He was put on life support, and a ventilator. His lungs filled with pneumonia. Another thing he had to fight. Just 5 days prior jax was laughing and fine. We have been in the hospital since April, FIGHTING, because jax is a fighter.. for 3 almost 4 months jax has stolen all the nurses hearts. From 3 am water fights to all the giggles and hugs he gave. We had therapy dogs, PT, OT, xrays, meds, CT, breathing treatments. Everything to get him better... we are learning to walk again. He's becoming himself again... From this experience It has been the most traumatizing yet, and I don't think I'll ever be okay. I still sneak away to cry, I still see them bringing him back when I close my eyes, it's embedded in my mind. I kiss and hug him more than ever, and he let's me without being annoyed. I'm keeping it together for him, but I'm so heart broken all the time now. 

We just got readmitted into the hosp and we dont know how long well be here.. we were home less than 2 weeks when we shouldnt have ever left. Jaxs main diagnosis is his heart. The doctors weren't watching his heart, just the airway.. they sent us home and I went to his follow up appointment with his cardiologist and she said "jaxs heart is not good at all and he could've gone into cardiac arrest at any point."

We would've been home without any of the proper medications to bring him back. Right now we're here AGAIN getting heart medications to see if it helps. If it doesn't they're talking about a pacemaker and possibility of going on the heart transplant list... like I always sat hold your babies extra tight... you never know what will happen.. 

I just want to say  Thank you for all who have checked on me and have been there. Thank you for the gas money, thank you for doordash giftcards, the pleasant messages, the ear to listen, the shoulder for me to cry on, the distractions.You know who you are and I love you all for it. I still have my best friend and Im holding on for life. But you are never promised tomorrow so hold on tight and take that disney trip ❤️