Eddie’s PTSD Fight Is Our Fight!

Eddie Rey- long time community activist needs OUR Help.

As many of you know, on May 18, 2024, Eddie Rey was one of six victims in a drive-by pellet gun shooting that in four LGBTQ bars in Hillcrest/San Diego. And just this month other attacks have rocked our community injuring eight more.

On June 5 2024, Trans Sin Fronteras, a local non-profit was targeted, and had a window shot out. No one was physically injured in this attack. And then on September 2, two more attacks occurred, one at Sixth and University injuring one person who was also shot in the eye, followed by two attacks at Flicks, and Rich’s the following evening. Several days later three more attacks were reported at Burger Lounge and MO’s which injured seven people on September 7 and 8, 2024.

Police are currently investigating these attacks as hate-crimes and have made one arrest- for the latest shootings, however Eddie’s shooter is still out there- despite a $2000 reward for information that leads to their identity/arrest or the identification/location of the car used in the attack.

In total we know that at least 14 victims have come forward to report being hit. Unfortunately, Eddie’s injuries are the most severe—he was shot in the eye, causing him to fall backwards and hit the ground where for 24 long seconds he perceived he was dying and that he had witnessed at least two others get shot and killed.

Many of you have likely seen the horrific and graphic security footage. It is shocking to see and we warn you to take precautions when watching it.

Thankfully, the pellet gun used was a toy gun, but by all legal definitions it was still a gun that fired projectiles at high speeds with the ability to hit targets up to 60 feet away.

Having experienced the attack unfold, heard the gun-fire and witnessed a light that mimicked a muzzle flash- it is understandable that Eddie and those in his immediate vicinity also independently concluded and reported to police and media that they had witnessed Eddie get shot and thought he had been killed. This has been a traumatic event for all of those who experienced it.

What the security footage that captured the shooting doesn’t show is the crippling anxiety, depression, and isolation that have consumed his life. It also didn’t capture his requests to; speak with his mother, concern that Cookie his dog get cared for, and that messages get relayed to his roommate Nick, and his friends Diana, Patrick, and Gardenia. He also expressed a desire that Rich’s not be torn down despite what he thought was the killing of three people in front of the club.

All of this trauma has triggered changes in Eddie that most of us will never fully comprehend, and the universe willing, we will never have to deal with ourselves.

After Eddie was discharge, it became clear over the next few days, weeks, and months that his emotional, mental, and spiritual injuries were far deeper than anyone anticipated.

In this aftermath he has been diagnosed with P.T.S.D. and Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder.

The American Psychiatric Association defines PTSD as ”a psychiatric disorder that may occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event.” People with PTSD may experience flashbacks, nightmares, feelings of sadness, fear, anger, and an intense sense of detachment from others. They may avoid situations or people that remind them of the trauma, and even ordinary things—like loud noises or accidental touches—can trigger overwhelming responses.

As his friends, as his co-workers, family, and as a community of people who love him, we’ve witnessed first hand how Eddie is struggling with all of these symptoms, and we have reason to be concerned.

As his mental health deteriorated and the isolation, and depression took hold, police and/or paramedics were called to his home, and work, at least five times- making it more clear to many of us that something in Eddie had changed and that he needed help.

As a result of these struggles, Eddie had to be moved from his regular work station in front of Rich’s and into a safe space in the attic while he worked to transition back to being able to work in front of the club, something that he was eventually unable to do.

With the support of The San Diego LGBTQ Community Center, Eddie was able to receive what he calls “life-saving” therapy twice a week. Yet, even after twelve weeks of treatment, he was still struggling to function and began to confide in a few of us- what he was really going through.

He confided in us that he had began to lose track of time, felt like he was watching himself and sometimes “coming to” or “waking up” in random parking lots with no recollection of where he was, what happened between leaving work and arriving at home, or how he got there. He also saw himself on his home security camera walking into his home with bags of food or purchases he had made and no memory of his time or activities between leaving work and “coming too.”

We have now learned that this is called disassociation, and that it is a coping mechanism where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity.

Disassociation can cause

* life difficulties such as broken relationships and job loss

* sleep problems such as insomnia

* sexual health problems

* extreme weight loss and eating disorders

* severe depression

* anxiety disorders

* eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia

* extreme emotional arousal, such as sudden bouts of anger, frustration, sadness, and crying

* problematic alcohol or substance use

* self-harm, including suicide

Many of these symptoms are those we have witnessed first hand happening with Eddie. We saw the relationship problems, the irrational decision to leave his job, extreme weight loss, cutting- which he was hiding, and sudden mood swings, including bouts of uncontrollable crying, and severe anxiety, including obsessing over and memorizing the license plates of hundreds of dark colored sedans which he encountered on a daily basis.

As a result of these symptoms the world came came to a crashing halt in late July, and early August forcing Eddie to to leave his job at Rich’s, and put his business on hold in order to check into a mental and behavioral health treatment center.

After four weeks of 2-5 hours of daily group and individual therapy six days a week he has now been informed that he will need additional, more specialized treatments that the Center’s mental health staff nor the treatment center he is accessing, are unable to provide.

Thats where we come in with this GoFundMe.

Even with our encouragement and his family’s support, Eddie was struggling in ways that made it impossible for him to ask for help. With the assistance of his therapist and group therapy he has now reached a point where he understands what has been happening and is willing to accept and ask for help. And so we are stepping in to support him as best we can as he begins this new chapter of his life. We know this will be a lifelong healing process for Eddie, but he deserves to know he’s not alone.

We all have known Eddie as once a vibrant, energetic, and joyful community activist. He is slowly he is coming out of it but on top of leaving his job, and putting his business on hold he has also had to move out of his home due to a renovation and and ADU build, forcing him to find new housing which has been a challenge for him since he is no longer working.

Due to the PTSD and disassociation Eddie’s brain has tried to protect him by causing him to think he had been “camping.” By convincing him he was camping, the trauma of not having his regular home made his situation easier for him to process. Essentially his mind had been blocking out anything that reminded him of the traumatic event and has caused a chain reaction that now finds Eddie living out of his car at beaches and local campgrounds.

That realization and the recognition that he is legally homeless has not been easy for Eddie. But true to his nature, he is turning the story around by helping raise attention on PTSD and mental health, and helping those around him in similar situations also get help.

With the help of The San Diego LGBTQ Center, and a few close friends- Eddie is getting the help he needs and moving into a safe place. Though he is doing better than he was just weeks ago, he is prepared to check into an 8 to 45 day trauma and mental health treatment center if his therapist and case managers recommend it

Eddie recognizes he has been unresponsive to many and we ask that you give him grace- this is a symptom of PTSD and it is best for him to limit his exposure to social media, mainstream news, and to keep his social engagements limited to a small group of people who understand his current mental and medical needs as we slowly re-introduce him into social activities and engagements which he is looking forward to doing.

This page was set up to help raise a support fund for Eddie’s ongoing treatment, housing, transportation, and advanced mental health therapies, in addition to a pre-scheduled surgery which Eddie has had to postpone.

Eddie is seeking alternative treatments like art therapy, animal-assisted therapy, and ketamine infusions, which is a promising new therapy for treatment-resistant PTSD and major depression. Ketamine therapy, though showing great success, is not yet covered by Eddie’s insurance, and the costs are high.

That’s why we are asking for your help. Anything you can contribute will ease the financial burden and give Eddie a fighting chance to regain his life.

For over 20 years, Eddie has been the first to volunteer in our fight for LGBTQ rights. He has stood with our Black, Brown, Jewish, Muslim, Palestinian, and Asian communities, and he has supported our own LGBTQ community through countless challenges- including after the shooting at The Asian Bistro. Whether he was camping out at the Supreme Court or serving as a leader in our business and visitor centers, bring us our local news, representing us and our community at the U.S. capital or abroad, or welcoming thousands of us to Rich’s each night- Eddie has always been there for us.

Now, it’s our turn to be there for him.

Eddie is currently enrolled in an intensive outpatient program, where he attends multiple sessions each day in preparation for EMDR therapy and/or Ketamine Infusions in a specialty center with a licensed psychologist.

His expenses for treatment, supplements, housing, transportation and therapy are overwhelming. Eddie has been fighting this battle as best he can, but no one should have to fight alone.

We ask for your help, your prayers or intentions, and your good energy for Eddie’s recovery.

If you would like to sign on as a team member by adding your name to this GoFundMe and help raise money for Eddie’s treatment plan- please contact myself- Nicole, or Big Mike. Your name will be added as a signator in support of this page, however admin duties will be kept to just a few close people.

This page is currently set to $10K but we will continue to adjust the goal until we hit $25K. Funds raised beyond his needs will be donated towards the reestablishment of the “Crime Stoppers Hate Crime Reward Fund” and the “Nightlife, Industry, and Tourism Emergency Cash Assistance Program” also known as “N.I.T.E.C.A.P.”

Thank you for reading, for contributing, and for keeping Eddie in your thoughts.

With love and gratitude,

Nicole Murray Ramirez, Big Mike San Diego, Patrik Gallineaux, and Cookie .