A Trucker’s Dream

Hello,

My name is Tiffany Rose Kea and I am writing this on behalf of my husband and my family. I’m praying that you take the time and read our story and if it at all possible, find it in your heart to help in any capacity. I am appealing to other truck drivers or anyone who understands what it’s like to be too poor to be rich and too rich to be poor; or anyone who can sympathize with the troubles of trying to obtain healthcare coverage in our country. I want to tell you about a love story of two kids at the age of 14 who found each other through an inner city Upward Bound program. Two young souls who come from family lines that are plagued with addiction, abuse, and generational dysfunction that vowed to do everything in their power to not have those same circumstances impact our lives and the lives of our future children. We did not know how to create a healthy family, all we knew is that we needed to do everything different from what we’d been shown. And please believe that this is not a “woe is me” scenario … we truly understand that we don’t corner the market or own the rights to pain and suffering. Nor is it a “beat up” session or a pity party regarding our families and how we each were raised; time, life, and wisdom has taught us that hurt people … hurt people. We’ve ridden this roller coaster called life together for the last 35 years. October 22, 2022 was our 30th Wedding Anniversary. We have been up and down too many times to count, but we’ve always persevered and pushed through the trials and tribulations of life that seem to stay on constant repeat for us.

Between 2017 and 2019 my body seemed to have shut down. Doctors had no clue what was going on and it took over two years for them to begin to get to the root of the problem. But there came a time when I was ready to give up. We were drowning financially because my husband had used up all his sick and vacation time tending to me with my frequent hospital stays. So when he couldn’t work … he no longer got paid. It was so bad that I made him take me on a goodbye tour. I wanted to say goodbye to my children who had transitioned into adulthood. I had to make sure they knew that I loved them and that no matter what happens … don’t let my passing derail their lives. I was plain old tired of fighting. When we returned home I had a conversation with God. And He asked me what I wanted out of the rest of my life? And I said … All I wanted was time to fix my family. And He gave it to me. Instantly the problems in our marriage were gone. My body didn’t heal … but it became bearable. We came up with a plan to take every day as a gift and start believing the dreams we made when we were kids. My husband’s health wasn’t the greatest either … and working at the Post Office for 18 years was slowly killing him. When we were young … my husband attempted to be a truck driver. But working as a company driver was not paying the bills back then and not to mention the stress of being alone raising 3 young children. There were times that I felt that if I was going to live like a single parent … I might as well be one. We weren’t ready.

So in 2019 … my husband left the post office … we sold everything we could and cashed in what little was left of his 401K … gathered the kids and moved to Atlanta … and he went off to do his re-training for Prime Trucking. The kids had been struggling with adulthood so we gave them an opportunity for a fresh start. To finish school or gain a trade. And at the end of December … I joined my husband and we lived on the road for 18 months. We became best friends again. We used to always dream of traveling as kids and when we started our journey … Kevin said … I remember in 1992 that I promised you I’d show you the world … It may not be the world … but I’m going to show you this entire country. And he did. I have a keychain from every inland state … I’m only missing Hawaii and Alaska. We were going to do Alaska in the truck and Hawaii when we renewed our vows. It was the best time I had in my life. It wasn’t free from turmoil though. Things went haywire in the home and we had to relocate each child. So we no longer had a home base. In the 19th month … right as we transitioned into our own leased truck … our youngest son called and said he was told he had cancer. He was a college student and had no health insurance. We had no home and no where to live so that he could get the care he needed. Every dime we made on the truck went to his care. Our son was diagnosed with stage 3 Non Hodgkins Lymphoma with a 40% chance of survival. I had to take care of my son living in a weekly crack motel while he underwent chemotherapy. The cost of his care almost made it impossible to get enough for move-in money. It took us almost 5 months to get out of there … but we did. My husband was out there killing himself trying to support the family that he lived a work 14 hrs … down 10 hours for months. Fellow truck drivers can understand exactly what I mean. Add on the fact that my husband’s dispatcher treated him like a young man playing at trucking … rather than a grown man with a family to support when assigning loads … life was extremely tough. Our son beat the odds and I returned to the truck … and then Covid. But we made it through that too … lol. We were new to social media and the only thing we knew how to navigate was facebook. So we started a group where our friends and family could follow along with our journey. So if you want to see all that I’m talking about … I’ll post the link. Every single thing we went through over these last four years is documented in the group.

We found ourselves at the end of our lease. We came to the decision that it was time to bet on us. So for months … we saved every dime. We needed a large down payment in order to purchase a truck because of past credit issues … but we did it. We knew that becoming independent contractors was the fastest way to obtain our dream. A simple dream of a home on a little piece of ground that we owned. In order to get the money for the down payment we had to cut our overhead which included the $1400 a month we were paying for health insurance. I had medicine and the drugs they prescribed were affordable without insurance. We both knew it was a gamble. We had no health insurance nor life insurance. You may call us stupid but I knew the man I married. And if he said that going Independent was the key … then I did whatever was needed to be done to help us achieve the goal. It was a risky choice … but it was the right choice. In the matter of 3 months after picking up our new truck and leasing onto J.B. Hunt, we were able to buy a car, rent a better home, semi -furnish the home, set up an accountant to get our taxes correct, among so many other things. Life was becoming everything we imagined. I couldn’t rejoin my husband on the road because of my health and family obligations … but the beauty of being independent … was that I was able to see my husband every weekend. Life was headed towards that breakthrough that we always prayed for. We were still living paycheck to paycheck because of the price of fuel and the drop in freight pay. We knew that the business was up and down and that sometimes you have to just ride it out. We bet everything we had … for a simple opportunity to determine our own worth. But life had other plans.

Mere hours before our family was set to sit down to its first real Thanksgiving Day meal in over 10 years … the Love of my life … had a massive ischemic stroke. Can you imagine what it feels like to hold your breath for 2 hours 28 minutes and 42 seconds? I can … because that’s how long it took to find out if he left me. I remember rocking back and forth begging God to just let him come back to me. At that moment it didn’t matter what type of holy hell we were about to have to deal with. I just wanted him. I’d figure the rest of that mess out later. God answered my prayers. My husband is alive. We have a very long road ahead of us … but he’s here. The first two days, he was in a medically induced coma, was totally paralyzed on his entire right side and today he can walk. He cannot speak and his cognitive ability is severely diminished. He’s going to have to re-learn basic skills. They are placing him around a 5th grade level of comprehension.

The reason for this Gofundme … is because I have no health insurance and we were still living paycheck to paycheck with no savings yet. We were denied Medicaid and the moment that happened … his level of care changed dramatically. They are rushing him through and trying to find a county nursing home to drop him into. This man has been the breadwinner for our family for 30 years. He’s a proud man that defines himself by how he provides. He can’t do that any longer. So regardless of my own chronic lupus … I have to find a way to make it happen. Our children are stepping up but life is a struggle for them just like so many others. I have a line on a job that will give me day one benefits … but until then I am in dire straights financially. They will be kicking him out of the hospital any day now and I don’t have a means to prepare the home for him or pay December’s rent and bills until I can get a paycheck. Kevin is a very prideful man and he would absolutely lose his mind if he knew that I was doing this on his behalf … but when it comes to that man … pride for me is a non factor. I’ll do anything I have to to make sure he is taken care of the same way he did for me with my constant hospitalizations. It doesn’t matter if it is a dime or a dollar … every penny for me right now is essential. And I feel super crappy that I am asking anyone for anything in times like these but I am desperate. I don’t know how we’re going to eat, buy his medicine, get the equipment he’s going to need, or pay the rent and car payment until i can secure employment and get healthcare coverage … so until then … I am pleading for help. There is no way that I will be able to pay anyone back … but what I can do … is promise to pay every act of kindness and generosity forward. If you are unable to give … please share this as much as possible. I know a lot of people are afraid of scams … so that’s why I told you about our facebook group: Love and Trucking: Rolling with Kev & Tiff. There you will laugh at our escapades and cry as we cried through this uphill journey. So many people don’t like Gofundme because they take a percentage. I have a cash app If anyone would feel better donating through that venue. $PBTTrucking.

My husband is non verbal with diminished cognitive and comprehension abilities and we all know the horror stories of how those types of individuals are treated in nursing homes. Kevin Kea deserves so much better than that and i have to find some way to make it possible to bring him home. This man has been the air I breathe for 35 years. So if you believe in love … if you understand the perils of the trucking industry … if you’ve ever ridden the rollercoaster of life … if you’ve ever experienced tragedy at the worst possible time … or if you know what it’s like to dream for a better tomorrow… please give whatever you can. I’m going to copy and paste a post my husband made right around the time that we achieved the goal of becoming independent contractors and maybe that will give you an insight to us … and the man you may be thinking about helping. No amount is too small. And please remember that life is short and that it’s not about the amount of breathes you take … but about the moments that take your breathe away. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Here is the post:

Ok, Hi Tiffany Kea’s friends! My wife bought a car this weekend and before she gets a chance to write a LONG diatribe about me being so awesome (I am by the way ) and OVERSHARE to the nth degree, I thought I’d beat her to it! But we need a little background, so bear with me! and btw, I’m sharing this to our Facebook group too, Rolling with Kev and Tiff in case something didn’t make sense!

It’s been about a year since my Boo got off the truck. We have 3 kids, as most of you know, and like many kids today, they are taking a bit to find their places in this world! We screwed up, like so many our age have! We wanted them to have better than we did. More opportunities, than we did! More stuff than we did! We didn’t realize how big of a disservice we were doing to them? And we were soooo young! Not requiring them to work, encouraging sports and extra curricular activities, the latest video games, named brand shoes…whatever we could afford to provide! We moved down South because the cost of living was cheaper and we could do more! But we were wrong! As many of us were! We didn’t realize that, the struggles we went through, the responsibilities we had, helped mold us into who we were! Now, there’s a VAST difference in how rich people can raise their kids than poor! There’s also a VAST difference in how White people can raise their sons as to how Black people can! If you don’t believe that, stop reading, this isn’t for you! Ok, with that set up out of the way, one of the biggest reasons my wife got off the truck, was to be available for our Boys! As a guide, refuse, beacon in the storm, so to speak! Try to undo or fix some of the deficiencies we had created! My mother-n-law, let my wife use her car to get around. We had a plan to live on the truck and save for our new life and when she got off, we weren’t ready yet, so my mother-n-law’s offer was a Godsend and we truly appreciated it! My wife just had to take her mom to work and pick her up. Help with a few errands. It was awesome! Whether it was withdraw from my Boo leaving, or just plain loneliness, I fell into melancholy. I had way too much time to think. I re-evaluated my life and choices. I decided, that after 48 trips around the sun, I didn’t want to work for ANYONE else, EVER AGAIN!!! So we set out to fix that! Together! Now, my beautiful wife, who y’all all love, has health issues! Those of you who know her know this. Diabetes, thyroid, diverticulitis… among others! She goes through bouts of depression like many of us do! Anxiety, like many of us do! She has flare ups, days when it just plain hurts to get up! But to see her, you’d never know! LIKE MANY OF US! She’s my Angel! Tortured some days, but 100% Angel! Now, some of you have to be like, WTF is wrong with this dude being so personal? It’s because, WE, ALL of US, and ESPECIALLY Black folks keep too much SHIT hidden! We NEED to be more open and honest! If for nothing else, to help and encourage others who may be going through the same things, realize that they aren’t ALONE! What they are going through isn’t unique to them! There’s someone else out there who can relate!!! Now to the reason behind all of this sharing I have tried, for months to get my wife to return her momma’s car because on most days, it was getting to be too much! Dealing with our kids, her obligations to her mom, commitments that she made, were bumping up against all her ailments and resting time! But she wouldn’t! Some days, I could here the agony in her voice, forcing herself to get up at 5 am after tossing and turning all night! Getting little to no rest! It was breaking my heart! Because, she was doing it for me! Most of you have experienced the parts shortages, rising prices, on EVERYTHING since COVID! Used cars and Trucks! New truck prices went from 160-170k to 200-230k! (Can u imagine the down payment on a 230k vehicle?)because, that’s what we were doing! Saving for a truck, so I didn’t have to work for anyone else! I could start my own trucking company! Work when/where I wanted to! And she was determined to make this happen for us! So if going without a car helped us save for a down payment, any price she paid was worth it to her! I’m pricing used trucks now! But 15 year old trucks were selling for almost 100k! WTF! And people where buying them because trucking is paying really good atm! Long story short, MAJOR SPOILER, my Boo and I have just put a deposit down on a 2023 Freightliner Cascadia! There’s a waiting list, because of the chip shortage and demand, but our truck should be arriving in the next six weeks! We are, or soon will be, True Owner operators!!! ♥️♥️♥️ our 4 year long sacrifices are paying off! We will now set our own rates, terms, and time away from home! It took us 4 years, but we’ve accomplished something we set out to do! So, this weekend, after all excuses were exhausted, my Boo bought a car! Now, she will try to say I bought it, but in truth, she just invited me to appease my manhood! She found dealerships. She arranged financing! Picked out THE MOST ADORABLE little suv! (2019 w/19k miles) SHE DIDNT need me AT ALL! And we now own a car! And she looks so cute in it! Has all that new tech these cars have! No key! Lo jack! I barely figured out how to turn on the radio! if any person on this planet is luckier than me, y’all mistaken!!! ♥️✊

So, our new journey begins! And we are living proof that, hard work, determination, and belief in oneself can overcome ANY and ALL obstacles! You’re NEVER to old to follow and accomplish a dream! And most importantly, SOULMATES do exist!

Bless you all! New adventures are ON THE WAY!!! ♥️♥️♥️