Emergency help out of an abusive marriage

Hi, my name is Whitney. I am a 58-year-old grandmother of 8. By nature I am a happy, outgoing, fun person to be aroundI have spent a lot of my time trying to help others and now I am needing some help myself. I have debated with myself whether or not to start this fundraiser, it is hard to talk about why I am doing it. I have been in an extremely abusive and controlling marriage for 20 years, many of you would be shocked at the extent of control. Many people who have not been through this will think to themselves, well that is just stupid, why didn't you leave?". There are many factors. I won't get into all the gory details, it's too humiliating and embarrassing. And anyone who has been there will understand all of the complicated reasons I didn't leave, he will change, etc... The bottom line is that EVERYTHING is in his name, the house, checking and savings accounts, cars, etc. I have asked him for a divorce and enough money to leave, which he has refused. I have reached out to the shelters and emergency housing, however, because I have three dogs they cannot help me. My dogs are my family and I will not put them to sleep because of this. 2 of them are really old, 13, and starting to have health issues. My son Josh is with me, 1 year clean this month, I had not seen him for 6 years and he almost died on many occasions because of his addiction, he lived on the streets and now he is working and doing well and committed to staying clean and healthy, but this environment is a detriment to his sobriety, my husband looks to sabotage him every time he can, it's as if he wants him to fail. Well, I'm not giving up on him, not after I finally got him back from the brink of death, and that is not an exaggeration. To be completely honest, I don't feel safe in my own home, most of the time I am scared to death and shaking. I have nowhere to go and I am trying to raise enough money for 1st and last month's rent, deposit, pet deposit and food to completely start over again. I will be paying more in rent than the house payment! I am trying to get an attorney through the law school or some other avenue as I don't have the money to hire one. I have no savings or 401k, I have applied for disability for my back as I have been unable to maintain a full-time job because of my back pain. until I can find an attorney and then get what I am entitled to in the divorce, which in the state of Utah is half. For many years, I have walked around like a zombie, pretending everything is okay, but always in fear of my home life. I seriously cannot hear a door slam without having a panic attack, I don't sleep and barely eat, I have lost over 45lbs in the last few years from fear and anxiety. Any help you can give would be greatly appreciated. It will at least help me get out of this dangerous situation, I want to be myself again, productive, happy, healthy, and looking forward to the future, I still have time left but don't want to live it like this, this is no life. I know many of you who will see this cannot afford to help, I completely understand. Please don't feel obligated or bad. I am just doing what I can to help myself be myself agan. Blessings to all of you!!