Emily & Nick's IVF Journey

My name is Emily Browne and as someone who has Infertility problems, let me tell you firsthand how physically and mentally hard this diagnosis can be. I was initially diagnosed with P.C.O.S. (polycystic ovarian syndrome) when I was 17 years old, but being the defiant, unaccepting teenage I was I didn’t believe it and thought the doctor was wrong. Fast forward to 28 years old, I had finally made the decision to start a family, so I had to stop my birth control and start taking the right vitamins, etc. So here I am trying to do everything I can to make it happen, but I realized I wasn’t getting my period (my birth control stopped it completely.) I schedule an appointment with my gynecologist, and he said he believed I had P.C.O.S. and referred me to a reproduction endocrinologist. After 3 ultrasounds, 2 blood tests, and a small procedure to check my fallopian tubes, it was confirmed, I did have P.C.O.S.

​My dreams were crushed, all I could think was, will I ever have children of my own? Did I do something to cause this? Why was my body turning against me in one of the main things it was supposed to naturally do? I went home and cried; I was devastated, heartbroken, depressed, you name it. After a couple days I had worked through the initial shock and decided I wasn’t going to give up. I scheduled an appointment to start treatment. Now there is no cure for P.C.O.S. because there are multiple causes, and everyone has different levels of hormones that are off. I was started on medication to induce my period and put on a strict vitamin schedule. For the next 6 months I was taking 12 vitamins and medications a day. Nothing was working so my doctor and I went to the next step, which was adding another medication to help my eggs grow for ovulation. This also meant I had to go in for ultrasounds 2 more times a month. Again after 3 months, nothing happened. Now the doctor was adding another medication but this time it was in the form of an injection I had to give myself, it was scary at first because I never had done that before, but I was determined to have a baby of my own if I could. We waited a few more months of doing this specific treatment but again I wasn’t pregnant.

​My positivity was starting to fade, and I was beginning to believe it would never happen. I had paid well over $4,000 at this point and I had nothing to show for it. I felt like a failure, as a female, a partner, and as a person. “Would my partner want to leave me because he won’t have any children of his own? Will I ever even have a child since adoption is so expensive? No one would want to be with someone who can’t start a family of their own. “These were all the thoughts running through my head. I was embarrassed and scared to bring it up to anyone, I didn’t want to be judged. I spoke with my doctor again worried there would be no hope. I knew there was still treatments, but I didn’t know if they would work for me. We decided to change my treatment to doing everything I was before but now adding I.U.I. (intrauterine insemination.) This is a procedure where Sperm has been washed and concentrated and is placed directly into the uterus. Each procedure is $600, due the day of, and this isn’t including medications. I do the procedure and wait 2 weeks; my body failed me again. Why can’t I just get pregnant? It’s so easy for many people. We had gotten the I.U.I. 2 more times and they failed. I couldn’t afford another treatment right away due to unforeseen life circumstances. I spoke with my doctor again and now my next step in treatment is I.V.F. (in vitro fertilization.)

​For those of you that do not know I.V.F. is the last step before there are no more treatments left. It is the most extensive and more expensive, some places charge about $25,000 for one round, luckily mine charges $13,000. That is still a lot of money to pay all at once, you can’t make payments either. With this economy it is not very easy to save that much, but I am trying. I look forward to my first round out of I.V.F. as soon as I save up the money. I hope it takes on the first try but it may not.

I am now 31 about to be 32 and racing against my biological clock to have the best odds to start my own family. Infertility is not an easy thing to handle, there are many ups and downs, mental barriers and struggles, and depression filled days. Not everyone will go through this but there are more women than you know that have to. I was initially embarrassed and afraid to tell anyone my story, but I want the word to be spread and I want there to be more awareness about infertility.