End of Life Expenses for Jo Peel
Donation protected
This is a really difficult thing to write, and I really wish that I didn't have to write it. But here goes...
As many of you know (or may not know) my mother Jo Gayle Peel has battled Multiple Sclerosis (MS) for over 40 years. For many years things were good even though she was diagnosed at a young age. She was a daycare director, preschool teacher, and even went back to college and got a second bachelor's degree in 1981. She and my Dad, Robert got their wish for a family when I was born in 1985. My mother's pregnancy was considered "high risk" because of her MS and family history of premature birth. Despite my being born a month early, they got their wish for a happy, healthy baby.
Because of the fatigue caused by the MS, my mother had to retire from teaching before I was born. My father decided to start his own custom carpentry business, allowing him to have some flexability to help take of my mother and I when we needed it. He worked extrordinarily hard to provide for us and both my Mom and Dad tried to make my life as normal as possible despite my mother's disability. For a long time their system worked; through private home care, home care provided by Dallas County, and the help of family, we were able to live a fairly normal family life. We traveled some, Mom and Dad never missed a dance recital or choir concert, and Dad continued to do his work through his construction business.
But we always knew that things would never be like they should be. Mom's health continued to decline and by the time I finished middle school, she was completely confined to a wheelchair. There were never any medical or treatment advancements that seemed to help Mom very much. Most MS treatments and medications were geared toward relapsing/remitting types of the disease. Mom has a chronic/progressive form that still has few treatments. By the time I graduated from college, it was getting harder for Mom to feed herself and dementia was beginning to be present.
Because of constant cuts to the Department of Public Health since the early 2000s, it got harder and harder for my dad to get help from the home healthcare agencies. We were lucky to have a private pay aide for many, many years who in many ways was like a second daughter to my parents. But eventually she moved away and started her own family. The Dallas County Public Health Department was no longer to provide aides for the level of care that Mom needed by 2011 and they dropped her. By then, Dad had to completly stop working and care for her full time.
Dad cared for her almost completly by himself for two years until some chronic bedsores landed Mom in the hospital for months in 2013. Dad could no longer give her the care she needed himself at home, so even though he had tried to keep her from having to go to nursing home for so many years, Mom finally had to enter a nursing home in late 2013.
We always knew she would have to go to a nursing home eventually, but we all dreaded it not only because we wanted her to stay home, but because of the expense. Medicare/disability doesn't pay for nursing homes. A trust had been set up for Mom's care many years ago, but due to changes in laws, the trust and the funds had to be liquidated to qualify her for medicaid, the only feasible for us to pay for her care. So that's what Dad did. He spent down their life savings, everything they had for retirement, in order to qualify her for medicaid.
Last summer Mom's condition worsened. A bad bladder infection (a frequent problem because of the long-term use of an in dwelling catheter) and phneumonia landed Mom in ICU for about a week last June. The doctor's didn't think she would be able to pull through, so she was placed on hospice. But she managed to fight it back and we had some of the best days we had had with her for many years. Being off of her meds and being clear of infections left her remembering things from long ago, even singing along to songs we would play for her. She seemed to recover fairly well, but we knew the same thing would probably happen again soon.
A month later in July, my Dad was admitted to the hospital with a worsening of his COPD. Unfortunaltley, because he has spent most of his life caring for Mom, he hasn't taken good care of himself. His condition worsened and he now has to use oxygen 24 hours a day.
Just a few days ago, Mom was readmitted to the hospital after having some seizures. We assumed it would be like last year, and that it was just a bad infection again. The doctors, however, did a CAT scan and found she has a 1 1/2 diameter brain tumor pressing on her frontal lobe. She cannot under go surgery or chemo given her condition, so she was released back to the nursing home on hospice. She is not responsive and not eating or drinking. They didn't think she would make it through the weekend but she is going on 7 days since leaving the hospital. She doesn't seem to be in pain or scared, but we know she won't be much longer.
So that gets me to the here and now. As this long story explains, we fell through just about every crack in the healthcare system and social safety net. Having to spend everything to get Mom on medicaid (including liquidating life insurance policies - yes you cannot have a life insurance policy and be on medicaid) has left my Dad broke. All he has left is the stuff in the house and the house it self. There is no money for a funeral without dipping into the very little cash he has left. Following her death Dad will immediatley have to sell most his belongings and try to sell the house, as well as find some place that will hire him despite the fact he is on oxygen and 66 years old. The situation is pretty dire.
Nevertheless, we are trying to plan for a inexpensive, yet dignified cremation service. And here is where we need help.
Money donated to this fund will be used first and formost to cover the cost of the cermation and modest service and any incidental costs (like obituaries, etc). Any excess funds will be given directly to my Dad to help him with the costs of moving out of his house and into an affordable apartment. My hope is we could raise $5,000, but anything more than that would be even better. I know there are a lot of people out there who have been touched in life by my parent's and their unending devotion to each other. Please, please consider giving to this fund and giving us a little light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you all.
Jessica
As many of you know (or may not know) my mother Jo Gayle Peel has battled Multiple Sclerosis (MS) for over 40 years. For many years things were good even though she was diagnosed at a young age. She was a daycare director, preschool teacher, and even went back to college and got a second bachelor's degree in 1981. She and my Dad, Robert got their wish for a family when I was born in 1985. My mother's pregnancy was considered "high risk" because of her MS and family history of premature birth. Despite my being born a month early, they got their wish for a happy, healthy baby.
Because of the fatigue caused by the MS, my mother had to retire from teaching before I was born. My father decided to start his own custom carpentry business, allowing him to have some flexability to help take of my mother and I when we needed it. He worked extrordinarily hard to provide for us and both my Mom and Dad tried to make my life as normal as possible despite my mother's disability. For a long time their system worked; through private home care, home care provided by Dallas County, and the help of family, we were able to live a fairly normal family life. We traveled some, Mom and Dad never missed a dance recital or choir concert, and Dad continued to do his work through his construction business.
But we always knew that things would never be like they should be. Mom's health continued to decline and by the time I finished middle school, she was completely confined to a wheelchair. There were never any medical or treatment advancements that seemed to help Mom very much. Most MS treatments and medications were geared toward relapsing/remitting types of the disease. Mom has a chronic/progressive form that still has few treatments. By the time I graduated from college, it was getting harder for Mom to feed herself and dementia was beginning to be present.
Because of constant cuts to the Department of Public Health since the early 2000s, it got harder and harder for my dad to get help from the home healthcare agencies. We were lucky to have a private pay aide for many, many years who in many ways was like a second daughter to my parents. But eventually she moved away and started her own family. The Dallas County Public Health Department was no longer to provide aides for the level of care that Mom needed by 2011 and they dropped her. By then, Dad had to completly stop working and care for her full time.
Dad cared for her almost completly by himself for two years until some chronic bedsores landed Mom in the hospital for months in 2013. Dad could no longer give her the care she needed himself at home, so even though he had tried to keep her from having to go to nursing home for so many years, Mom finally had to enter a nursing home in late 2013.
We always knew she would have to go to a nursing home eventually, but we all dreaded it not only because we wanted her to stay home, but because of the expense. Medicare/disability doesn't pay for nursing homes. A trust had been set up for Mom's care many years ago, but due to changes in laws, the trust and the funds had to be liquidated to qualify her for medicaid, the only feasible for us to pay for her care. So that's what Dad did. He spent down their life savings, everything they had for retirement, in order to qualify her for medicaid.
Last summer Mom's condition worsened. A bad bladder infection (a frequent problem because of the long-term use of an in dwelling catheter) and phneumonia landed Mom in ICU for about a week last June. The doctor's didn't think she would be able to pull through, so she was placed on hospice. But she managed to fight it back and we had some of the best days we had had with her for many years. Being off of her meds and being clear of infections left her remembering things from long ago, even singing along to songs we would play for her. She seemed to recover fairly well, but we knew the same thing would probably happen again soon.
A month later in July, my Dad was admitted to the hospital with a worsening of his COPD. Unfortunaltley, because he has spent most of his life caring for Mom, he hasn't taken good care of himself. His condition worsened and he now has to use oxygen 24 hours a day.
Just a few days ago, Mom was readmitted to the hospital after having some seizures. We assumed it would be like last year, and that it was just a bad infection again. The doctors, however, did a CAT scan and found she has a 1 1/2 diameter brain tumor pressing on her frontal lobe. She cannot under go surgery or chemo given her condition, so she was released back to the nursing home on hospice. She is not responsive and not eating or drinking. They didn't think she would make it through the weekend but she is going on 7 days since leaving the hospital. She doesn't seem to be in pain or scared, but we know she won't be much longer.
So that gets me to the here and now. As this long story explains, we fell through just about every crack in the healthcare system and social safety net. Having to spend everything to get Mom on medicaid (including liquidating life insurance policies - yes you cannot have a life insurance policy and be on medicaid) has left my Dad broke. All he has left is the stuff in the house and the house it self. There is no money for a funeral without dipping into the very little cash he has left. Following her death Dad will immediatley have to sell most his belongings and try to sell the house, as well as find some place that will hire him despite the fact he is on oxygen and 66 years old. The situation is pretty dire.
Nevertheless, we are trying to plan for a inexpensive, yet dignified cremation service. And here is where we need help.
Money donated to this fund will be used first and formost to cover the cost of the cermation and modest service and any incidental costs (like obituaries, etc). Any excess funds will be given directly to my Dad to help him with the costs of moving out of his house and into an affordable apartment. My hope is we could raise $5,000, but anything more than that would be even better. I know there are a lot of people out there who have been touched in life by my parent's and their unending devotion to each other. Please, please consider giving to this fund and giving us a little light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you all.
Jessica
Organizer and beneficiary
Jessica Peel-Austin
Organizer
Perry, IA
Robert Peel
Beneficiary