Family Fighting for Custody - Please Help

Hello, my name is Kimberly and I really dislike making GoFundMes, especially since I normally have a really good job and at the beginning of this summer 2023, had FINALLY begun to build a nice little nest egg for me and my husband to SOMEDAY have a honeymoon.

But here we are in September, and I have asked my in-laws for more money than I have ever wanted to and maxed out my credit cards. What happened??!

Two years ago, my daughter Norah who I had full custody of since her birth, and had for years suffered from anxiety and depressive symptoms, had reached a boiling point. She had begun scratching herself uncontrollably and her suicidal thoughts had begun to be a little more than just thoughts, but obsessions. Death was ever by her side, she wanted it, was scared of it, and every day for months was a violent array of tears, screaming, rolling on the ground and failing to sleep. We did therapy for three years, and for the last 6 months had her diagnosing psychiatrist tried to find a medicine and a dosage that was good for her.

Finally, the suicidal ideations and self harm came to a head, and because my husband and I could not afford to work less to spend more time home with her to give her the attention she desperately needed, I broached the subject of her staying with her dad, who she loves very much. He has a stay at home wife and two younger brothers she adores. She has always loved being ‘the little adult’ and helping with small kids and would love to help them grow.

plus, her dad, lets call him Mike, had always wanted to live with her, and was bitter and very angry at me for our divorce.

I approached him with the idea, caveating that she would need to keep seeing a therapist, she needed medication, she could keep the phone we gave her if they hooked it up for service so we could communicate and didn’t feel separated- we could text all the time. I asked my ex husband to save her as I felt like I could not after almost 12 years of trying- good parenting or bad, yes, I sent her to her daddy who I believed could make her finally see the good in life. It felt like removing all of my limbs and a piece of my heart, but I NEEDED my daughter to be ok, to feel happiness and joy- to not die.

I was wrong about her dad being the key to all that- and I can never make it up to her. I am a disgrace of a mother.

I knew my ex was mad at me for divorcing him, but I did not know how much he hated me until recently. He played it very cool and friendly on our phone chats so I felt comfortable enough to send our daughter to him, but he was a huge liar.

As soon as it was settled that he would be getting Norah, I was told that Mike was going to Turkey for one year (he is in the Air Force, rather high up, and I am ex Air Force) leaving in a few weeks, which meant Norah would be alone with her step mom the whole time.

He had not even intimated this to me beforehand, and I was horrified. She should have stayed with me at least until he came back to the states! But there was more to it- I found out later he has volunteered for Turkey in order to have his follow on base be Germany- thousand of miles and overseas from me- which I was not informed about until it was way too late. How would I afford the visits? I could only see her once or twice a year?

But let me get down to the reason I am requesting funds: Norah is 13 going on 14, and upon visiting me this summer, broke down into sobs and said she had something to tell me. And she told me more than I bargained for.

Her dad and her step mother (ALLEGEDLY) have been emotionally abusing her since they gained custody of her. First, upon her arrival, they took her off of her medication, stopped her seeing a therapist, (her dad doesn’t trust in either) and took away her open communication with me- they took away her phone, and then everything we said on a message was monitored and questioned and discussed at their house with her step mom.

The list of things she has said she has been through are heartbreaking, terrifying, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I cannot list everything here- it is too much and not right to. But please know that she does not deserve what she is going through, all she wants is to stay with me and her step dad and feel safe, and I want to end this as soon as possible.

As far as why I didn’t know this was going on- she had been told that if she said anything to me about her treatment or how she felt, and we talked every single weekend on video, and very rarely let on she ever felt sad- her step mom would ‘beat her butt’. All messages between me and my daughter have been being read for the past two years, KNOWN to Norah, so she cannot say what is going on or how she feels. They consistently told her lies about me, such as ‘ your mother never cared for you’ and ‘she just dropped you off on our door step like you were nothing’. She says that her own dad tells her to stop pretending to care about him, and that he can’t wait until she is out of the house, and he wants to kick her to the curb, for her to leave (knowing she has been suicidal). They also tell my daughter that her mother (me) is mentally unstable, and that they are doing her and me a favor by not ‘coming’ for me, even though they could and should, but they won’t because I would probably kill myself.

I have retained a lawyer in the state of Ohio, his home of residence, and so far that has cost almost $10,000- and it has gone nowhere yet, because he is stationed in Germany, and has refused to be served.

Now, I stand in the interesting place where I am outside the law, in contempt of court because I refuse to send my daughter back to someone I believe is an abuser and may have other issues I cannot discuss here.

Today I received notice that I am officially in contempt and need to retain a Georgia lawyer immediately- the retainer will be at least $3,000- and due to the WGA/SAG strike, I don’t have my regular job to fall back on, even though I am working all I can.

I know money is tight for everyone, all the time. Please, if all you can do is share this, that’s great- this is for my kid- I’m really not playing here- I don’t know what else to do. I’m scared. I may go to prison.

thank you for reading and wish us luck.

and thanks

-Kimberly