Family Name Change Help

Hello, my name is Rick, and I'm a 38-year-old husband and father of two. My story began like everyone else's...I was born! What's different, though, is that I wasn't given my father's last name. Instead, I was adopted by a man who, at the time, told my mother that he would love me and treat me like his own. Unfortunately, it wasn't too long after that she caught him trying to feed me alcohol in my bottle, which I can only assume was an attempt to kill me.

This abuse never stopped, but it only worsened as some of my earliest memories of my mother and me were of being physically beaten by him. I remember one night when my mom and I were sleeping on the couch, and he came in to take money from her purse to buy alcohol. I remember her telling him that they needed it for bills, and it was then that he began hitting her because she wouldn't let go of her purse. I can still vividly remember her pleading for me like there was something I could do, but instead of helping her, I lay there pretending to sleep through it for fear that I would get beat up as well. There are plenty of other things, such as him burning me, smashing my face into a corner, and turning me into his personal "beer butler," but that would take too much time to elaborate on.

It wasn't just the physical abuse, but the verbal and mental abuse that was thrust at me that hurt. I remember one day when I was about 5 or 6 years old; he had gotten drunk and taken me on a walk down the driveway. We lived in the middle of a cornfield, and our driveway was EXTREMELY long! At one point in this walk, he made me sit by him as he told me he wasn't my dad. He said I was forced on him because my real dad didn't want me and was a "druggy" and in prison. At that time, the only thing I remember thinking was, "how are you not my dad?". It was too much for me to comprehend at that time, but it never left the back of my mind.

FINALLY, at ten years old, my mom left him. She mustered up enough courage to leave the abuse, threats, and mistreatment, and we went to live with my grandparents. He would call from time to time and was ALWAYS drunk when he did. My mother didn't want us to speak to him like that, so we didn't get much chance to talk with him. He would sober up in spurts, and she would allow him to see us, but he always treated me differently.

It was at 14 years old that I finally gained my courage as well and spoke up. He called one night while mom was in the shower, and I answered. This was at a time before caller-id, so I had no clue who was calling, but when I heard his voice, I could tell not only who it was but that he was drunk again. I told him that mom didn't want us to talk to him when he was like that. He told me then that I "wasn't his kid" and that he wanted to "speak with his kids." It was probably a mix of my anger over the years and early teen hormones that caused me to hang the phone up on him right then. I sat at the table sternly and waited for my mom to get out of the shower. As soon as she came into the kitchen, I spoke confidently and asked her to tell me who my real dad was. I think she could tell from my look that this was something I had known for a while, even though she never told me, and that I was serious.

My mom opened the phone book (yes, a literal phone book with paper!) and looked up my paternal grandmother. She called her, and just as God would have it worked out for me, my dad was already on the other line with her. I remember my mom writing down his number and me sitting there in disbelief that this was happening. Even at 14, I was still so confused about what was happening and somehow waiting for my mom to tell me that the man I thought was my dad was just drunk and lying to me. She didn't, though, and all of these emotions began to hit me. My mom and grandma hung up, and my mom called my dad right then. He was so excited to hear about me and was willing to see me that night.

I remember getting into the car and asking my mom many questions. I wondered if I was supposed to call him dad. Did I have a stepmom? Did she know if I had any other siblings? What was his real name? Why didn't she ever tell me about him? And so many more questions. Along with those questions came a FLOOD of emotions! I was happy, sad, anxious, scared, and just about every other emotion you can feel all at once.

I met him that night, and we hit it off immediately. He was NOT the man he was portrayed to be. He was funny, kind, and goofy (like me), and we even ordered the same sundae. It was amazing how comfortable I felt around him. He was the complete opposite of the man that had raised me to that point in my life, and for once, I felt comfortable around a man.

That very next weekend, he introduced me to my stepmom, siblings, and the entire side of my family that I never knew I had. I moved in with him a couple of years later, and he did his best to teach me how to be a man despite losing so much time. He showed me how to take care of a family, be a hard worker, be a person of good character, and ultimately be a "real man"!

Since then, our relationship has grown more robust, but I've always felt a bit "distanced" because I don't carry his name. I've been married for almost 20 years and have two children. I've always wanted to change my name but have never had the finances to do so. As my youngest is about to graduate high school, the thought came to me again that it's time to make that change so that my children's children will bare the name they should.

My purpose for starting this fundraising campaign is to assist with all the legal fees we are about to incur. I have an appointment with an attorney to create all the paperwork and the processing, but it will cost us quite a bit to get everything changed. Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated, and I could never thank you the way I would like. I pray that anyone willing and able to help receives blessings multiplied by that which you can give. I also pray for anyone who reads this and would like to share but can't. God will bless your situation and allow you to be a great blessing to someone else.

I'm ready to carry the name rightfully mine by blood and be my father's son not only by blood but in character as well.

Thank you all for taking the time to read, and I hope you all are blessed!