Please help me save for my operation?

Hi, I'm Amelia.

I'm 43 and I'm a transgender woman. I'm getting gender affirming care privately, and managing ok, but some of the treatments needed are way out of budget.

Sadly the NHS healthcare in the UK has a huge waiting list, with wait times for even a first appointment stretching out for over half a decade - realistically it may be 10+ years before I get any help.

My main target is to raise enough money to have my SRS surgery (Zero Depth Vaginoplasty) which at current prices is over £30,000 in the UK. I have the option of going to another country, so that will reduce the cost a lot, although it is not ideal. If I can raise about £9000 I will be doing this asap, as I know of a good clinic in Turkey who can help me.

If you could spare a small amount to help me, that would be amazing - but I know times are tough for everyone. Believe me when I say I will always be one of the first to help others when I'm able, and I will pay it forward and more once I'm in a better place.

My story:

What being transgender means to me.

Ever since I was very young, I have felt ‘wrong’. I have always been more at home amongst girls / women and have never really felt like a ‘boy’ - but didn’t have the terms to understand or express what I was feeling. Being brought up in a strict religious household meant that anything along the lines of gender expression or sexuality would have been a taboo subject. This, coupled with childhood trauma and undiagnosed ADHD and Autism, meant I grew up building a ‘shell’ character to exist in the world how I was expected to be. This caused a lot of mental health issues, including depression and anxiety.

Coming Out

Later in my life, I have started to question the reasons I have felt this way, and recently, by means of therapy and support I have realized and accepted that my gender does not match that of the sex I was assigned at birth. This was a scary realization, because I know how difficult it can be to be openly trans in today’s world – despite the progress made in LGBTQ+ rights and acceptance. However, I knew that the only way I could truly be happy and fully ‘myself’ was to be true to who I am. Luckily, I’m in a good place in life with supportive people around me, a stable job and home life. So, I decided to come out to everyone immediately, to present as female as soon as possible, and to be relatively public with my transition.

What I’ve achieved

Since the latter part of 2022 I have sought medical help (privately due to NHS waiting times being quoted as 4 – 10 years). I started hormone therapy in January 2023 and laser hair removal in February 2023. I have been presenting as female since December 2022, and have changed all of my personal, work and legal admin (including driving license and passport) to my correct name, title and gender.

Daily battles and struggles

Unfortunately, transition is a long process, requiring patience (hence why I couldn't wait for the NHS consultation to begin). So daily I have battles with dysphoria over my physical appearance and features. I have to shave my facial hair every morning, which is a painful process – the laser hair removal and then electrolysis will alleviate this but is a great expense takes years. Speaking of expense – there are so many costs surrounding transition, because of having to use a private provider of care. Also, because of the way I look, being out in public can be difficult, because many people stare, laugh, whisper to each other, or make comments.

The future

What is next? Continue hormone therapy, hair removal treatments and continue to be open and public with my journey. Long term, I’d like to be able to get various other care, such as surgeries – but cost is quite prohibitive with many of these. In 2025 (due to the current rules I need to wait 2 years) I can apply for a Gender Recognition Certificate, which will enable me to change my birth certificate and then get married to my partner in my correct gender.

Love you all

Amelia x