Fighting For Todd’s Life

I am helping to raise money for my dearest friend, Todd (and his family) in the fight for his life against the cruel and brutal disease, Multiple Myeloma, and to help cover the soon approaching health insurance premiums as he will transition to long term disability in February and lose his employer paid health insurance.  Lauren, Todd’s wife, is his full-time caregiver, helping to juggle all of the appointments, this debilitating illness and life with an energetic 5 year old, Charlie.  They also have two other sons, Evan, who just started college, and Logan who is in 8th grade.  The money we hope to raise will ensure Lauren can remain home taking care of Todd, and fighting for his life with him, and that they get to keep health insurance for the family, but also to make sure Todd continues to have access to all the best treatments and any new treatments not available yet, which could save his life!

Many of you have probably never heard of Multiple Myeloma, I know I hadn’t until my dear friend Todd was diagnosed, as it is a fairly rare blood cancer that usually affects MUCH older people in their 60’s or 70’s, and Todd was only 41 when he was diagnosed.  This is a cancer of the plasma cells, where the myeloma multiplies and the healthy bone marrow becomes lesion laden, leading to bone fractures, spinal compression, anemia and more as it ravages the body of a once healthy person.  Blood cancers are harder to control as the blood runs through the entire body and all through the bones, leaving no area untouched.  Sadly, there also isn’t an actual cure for Multiple Myeloma yet, and it is not a cancer you can cut out with surgery to remove it before doing treatments. The best case scenario is getting into remission, maintaining that remission as long as possible, and keeping the fight up till the next treatment is invented, while never losing hope!

From the minute he was diagnosed in early 2017, Todd was ready to attack this cancer head on, with the most positive attitude and remarkable spirit, and through all the ups and downs in this nearly 3 year fight, no matter how many setbacks have occurred, he has not wavered in his outlook or determination!  Todd is stubborn and has too much to live for, being only 43, and with such a happy marriage and loving family, that it propels him forward, fighting, no matter how grim things may be!  Still, there is only so much he can do, Lauren can do, or all the prayers in the world can do.  Now is the time for all of us to do our part in helping him fight to save his life!

Todd was lucky that his cancer responded quickly to chemo in early 2017 and he was in remission!  To help maintain that remission as long as possible, once he got some strength back from the first treatments, he underwent a stem cell transplant, which is an extremely hard and exhausting ordeal not only for him, but for the whole family.  They wipe the immune system out to fill it back up with good stuff, but it is risky and not something anyone really wants to be faced with.  Todd did it to ensure he could stay alive to be there for his family as it gave him better chances for a long remission.  As soon as Todd recovered, life got back to normal! He was healthy again, back at work, and back to having new adventures with Lauren and all 3 growing sons!  In the spring of 2018 I was walking along the lake in Skaneateles with him when he told me how he was feeling so great that sometimes it almost felt like he was never sick.

From the beginning Todd and Lauren filled their life together with adventure and activity in nature. They hiked, camped, went kayaking and focused on living a healthy life!  They had all the hopes and dreams that any couple in love have starting out for the long happy life ahead of them, the growing family to come and the plan to tackle anything that came their way!  They certainly never expected that three years into married life, with a toddler, a 10 year old and a teenager, they would be living the ‘in sickness and in health’ part of their vows in a such a serious nature. They are both amazing though in their ability to focus on any and all positive parts of this fight, no matter how hard or bad things get.

Cancer is devastating and cruel, because after about a year and a half remission, last winter Todd’s illness came back, with a vengeance, and he has been fighting harder than ever for his life!  A new clinical trial is out that Todd tried to qualify for, Car T Cell Therapy, but hasn’t been able to just yet, but with your help, he still could!  He could also potentially have another stem cell transplant, but first we need to get him into remission and back on his feet. Neither treatment would be a full blown cure, but either one can help him maintain another remission, to get him through to whatever the next new treatment can be, that isn’t even out yet. Researchers are hopeful one day Multiple Myeloma will be treated long term as a chronic illness, similar to diabetes, and that patients could live the rest of their life with it, but treatments aren’t there yet. Todd is determined to keep fighting this nasty cancer and to live to see that day, live to finish raising his sons and grow old with his wife!  We can all help do our part to make that happen!

Todd and Lauren have been together for 9 years, and married for 6 years, recently celebrating that anniversary in the cancer unit during Todd’s last inpatient stay. When you look through the photos we put together you will see lots of past dates, dressed up snazzy, out at parties and events, or out exploring nature being active living life.  Now dates consist of hospital beds, wheelchairs, infusion treatment rooms, or quiet nights in where Todd can barely talk above a whisper, staying inside tucked away from germs that could cause him life threatening infections, like the one he just fought through a few weeks ago with a sudden stay in the ICU!  Currently, their son in kindergarten is staying with Todd’s parents until Todd rebounds enough not to be susceptible to every germ a little kid brings home from school!  Between multi week or month long hospital stays, and now this heart wrenching decision for Charlie to stay with Grandma and Grandpa, there is a lot of time NOT together as a family, in order to be together as a family for the long haul!  That is what cancer does.  It causes a pain no one can understand till it happens to them or someone they love, but it also allows everyone, the patient, the family, the friends and all of you reading this to dig deep down within ourselves and fight, and be helpful and generous, and get a family through!

I took this cover photo of Todd today, (December 13, 2019) at the cancer center, where thankfully his blood counts are just high enough for him to hopefully start chemo again today, but only IF his blood pressure and heart rate stabilize before it’s time to go home. I urge you to look through all of these photos, appreciate the life they are fighting to live, all the happiness, love and joy you see, but also all the smiles in spite of sickness. Some of you have perhaps been in Todd’s shoes, fighting for your life, or been in Lauren’s shoes, caring for your spouse with all the love in the world, or maybe even been in the shoes of their sons, growing up with a dad fighting to stay alive for you. Others of you may be so fortunate to never have been faced with these situations in life, but I urge you to imagine that you were. Look at the cover photo again, taken today and imagine if your life were turned upside down like theirs has been and all of a sudden a “really good” day is a day like today, sitting in the cancer center, with blood counts just barely high enough to hopefully receive more chemo.  Then I urge you to imagine being Todd, choosing that, every single minute of pain, exhaustion, and sickness that choosing treatment, choosing to fight, choosing to live, brings, all with a determination I have never witnessed before!

Todd’s parents and family have only had him for 43 years (or less), I have only had him as a dear friend for 25 years, Lauren has only had him as her life partner for 9 years, and his sons for their short lives so far, and ALL of us want so many more years with him here. We can all do something to help this family in crisis.  Prayers and well wishes are wonderful, but I urge you to dig even deeper, to make a financial donation to help Todd keep his health insurance and medical needs met so he can keep fighting hard and not have to worry about that part, and so Lauren can continue to be by his side taking such great care of him. I can attest to the fact she is such a strong fighter for Todd, and her love for him is endless. Please consider helping, in any amount you are able!  No donation is too small or too big, if it comes from your heart!  I can think of a few things ( a dinner out for a healthier one at home, that cup of coffee from the cafe for one I could make at home, or the movie and popcorn in the theater for a cozy night in) that I could give up for a while to help my dear friend in his greatest time of need!  The other way you can help is by helping us share this page, get Todd’s story in front of as many eyes as possible and help us reach our goal!

Thank you for all of you who have been offering love and support from day one, and thank you for all of you willing and generous enough to step up now in our mission to fundraise and help Todd fight for his life!  We all thank you, but most of all, Todd thanks you!