Florence Gibson Dementia Research Fund

Anne Hollings is organizing this fundraiser to benefit DEMENTIA RESEARCH UK.

My name is Tony Gibson and Florence and I had a deep love for one another. Nobody deserves to have Vascular Dementia. We had 40 happy years together but she was cruelly taken from me by this awful illness when we should have had so many more years to enjoy. My world fell apart when she passed away at home on Thursday 17th December 2020 and in that last year the worst part was not only seeing the light fade from her but been unable to convey to her what I felt and what she meant to me.

Florence retired from her own successful business in 2015 and we looked to an enjoyable retirement which we had until 2018. She had had a very active life in sport but like everybody getting older our activities were now more sedate – walking, theatre visits, cinema trips and holidays.

By the end of 2017 she started to have odd days of forgetfulness and recall but we put this down to old age and being more relaxed. During the early part of 2018 Florence appeared quite "normal” and in July we went for a walking holiday in the Peak District. On our return, Florence started to forget appointments and began to have difficulties in using her mobile phone. When the landline rang she just stared at it and didn’t know what to do to answer it. We visited our doctor in the September and she was unable to answer some simple questions. Florence was referred to a Mental Health Consultant and Vascular Dementia was diagnosed. The Consultant was very helpful and explained what we as a family were to expect in the coming years. Due to that meeting Florence driving licence was cancelled.

In early 2019 Florence was unable to fathom the computer which had been a lifeline when she operated her business and also for household running, the latter duties I had to pick up. Florence was still able to cook meals - she was an excellent chef and we enjoyed some marvellous dinner parties here and in South Africa - but unfortunately after Easter she was struggling in that area and even making a cup of tea was becoming a chore.

Housework and laundry became a problem as she was so easily distracted but at least we were still able to have a reasonable conversation. We even went on an enjoyable holiday in July to the Peak District with no real mishaps but it was hard to believe that that was to be our last. Between July and December Florence started to sleep a great deal. Siestas were never her thing - always one to be on the go – another tell-tale sign the disease was progressing.

By January 2020 Florence was unable to shower and dress herself. It was then I realised I had to be her carer 24/7. I was determined and happy to do so as I had no intention of putting Florence in a home. About this time we went into the first lockdown and this meant that I could not take her out in the car to shop or for a drive. Florence, unfortunately, did not understand the meaning of lockdown – the not venturing out and the isolating. It hit us both hard and for me it seemed like double lockdown with no respite. Florence was lucid for about 2 days a week, the rest of the time she withdrew into herself, barely spoke and the walks which we used to enjoy were very much reduced. If we bumped into any one on our walks Florence did not speak and walked on.

Florence started to take her wedding rings and watch off and misplace them. She became very childlike in attitude and demeanour. Such a shame to see the light of my love fading before me, being unable to do anything and her not knowing. In September she became incontinent and had to be showered and dressed 2 to 3 times a day. Florence had no idea what was happening around her and by then was only speaking a few words, if any, a week. Early in November she had a stroke and was admitted to Coventry University Hospital, she returned home first week in December and passed away at home 17th December 2020.

As 2021 progesses, I have also pledged to raise £10,000 for by telling others my story and asking for donations to support Dementia Research UK so that other sufferers and their families can have the support they need. Dementia Research UK is a registered charity promoting research into the prevention and treatment of dementia and the care of those suffering from dementia. While research has the ultimate aim of eradicating dementia it can also be aimed at improving the lives of dementia sufferers and their carers.