Honouring a superhero NHS mummy & her daughter

Rebecca Ableman, better known as Becky to her friends and family was involved in a tragic incident on 22nd September while taking our 2-year-old daughter Autumn for a walk. She was walking back home on the pavement when she was struck down by a lorry passing by. While Autumn was thankfully unharmed as Becky’s last act was to push the pram out of the way, Becky suffered a traumatic head injury. After 3 weeks of fighting to come back to us, she sadly lost her life on 16th October 2022 aged only 30.

This nightmare incident has changed the lives of everyone Becky touched, but no more than our daughter. This is our main driving force for setting up this donation page. The main details of where we would like the money to go are at the bottom, but here are our main wishes:

The first wish is to setup areas where we can take Autumn to be close to her mummy, for us to remind her about the great times we had in these places.

The 2nd wish is to thank everyone that did everything humanly possible to bring Becky back to us. They all went above and beyond the call of duty, they treated her like a sister, a daughter, a friend, even though they had never met her before, she more than a patient to them.

The final wish, the one that breaks my heart the most, is to ensure Autumn has the best life as possible without her her amazing devoted mummy. I want her to able to discover what made her mummy who she was. So I want to set aside some money in a trust fund for her alone, to allow her to follow in Becky’s footsteps if she chooses to, such as travelling the world.

We spoke at lengths about how we envisioned Autumn growing up. Her vision/hope was for her to follow in her example and to go exploring around the world, to discover herself as Becky once did. My wish is that she can see that the world is a beautiful place and not the nightmare it currently is for us all.

I hate asking for money, it’s never been in either of our natures. But equally I want to limit the impact on our beautiful innocent child as much as possible, to protect her from anymore pain. And this money will help towards that but also to thank those that helped give us time to say our goodbyes to her.

Becky touched so many lives in her short time here, it’s hard to put into words the type of person she was.

To me she was my light in the darkest of nights, my rock for when I stumbled and my best friend. She made me a better person, she pushed me to be and do better because she could see my potential when I could not. She wasn’t one for affection, she hated lowering her barriers and be vulnerable, so when she did show affection, it was like time stopped, a perfect moment, something that I miss so dear. Becky always strived for perfection from herself, she was always humble and always felt she wasn’t good or strong enough, that she could always improve. She just couldn’t see what everyone else could, that to us she was perfect, she was the strongest person I know and she deserved so much more recognition.

To Autumn, she was a devoted loving mummy. Becky was always unsure about having kids, maybe it self doubt on whether she could be a good parent. But it’s impossible to do Becky justice just on how she became just the most amazing mother. We had many challenges and worries to overcome, but Becky’s instincts were always on point, it was like there was a psychic link between them, she just knew whenever something was wrong how to deal with the situation. My favourite part of the day would be watching them two play, dance, sing and wind each other up. They were really 2 peas in a pod. There is so much of Becky in Autumn, the innocent but cheeky personality, her strength and light all came from her. While in some way this causes me pain, but more so, it gives me great comfort and strength knowing that Becky lives on in our daughter, and that she will never be truly gone.

To the community, she worked at a mental health hospital in Cambridge, helping patients with mental health issues with the hope that one day they can return to society. It was a tough and challenging job, but she loved it. She had a passion for helping people, she wasn’t afraid to get stuck in, she was the one that all her colleagues could rely on. As you all know, there is a shortage of NHS staff, especially in the mental health area, so she was always happy to put in longer shifts or do extra ones to ensure the standard of care never dropped. She was always happy to help new mums overcome challenges similar to what she had been through. You couldn’t ask for a stronger, fiercely independent, dedicated woman as a role model for Autumn.

Becky was the light within our family. A beautiful partner, an aspiring sister and a precious daughter. The friend that brought everyone together and the colleague who helped so many who needed her.

She was the most loving, caring and supportive partner you could ever wish for, she was always the light at the darkest of times.

But most of all, she was the most amazing, strong, and loving mummy to her two-year-old daughter. Becky and her daughter were truly 2 peas in a pod. Becky’s independence, kindness, determination and beauty will live on through her forever. She will always be her daughter’s superhero.

We cherish every moment and memory we had together.

There is a Becky-shaped hole in all our hearts that can never be filled.

How the money will be divided up

Memorial

Approximately £1000 will be required to install a bench and plant a tree in the Willingham Community Orchard. Our village has really come together to help us with this and we’ve found a nice location within the orchard for this. Becky loved coming to the orchard with Autumn, especially around this time of year where the leaves are starting to change. Autumn was Becky’s favourite season, one of the reasons for our daughters name.

We would also like to adopt a tree at Wimpole. Since we’ve been together, we’ve loved visiting all the National Trust’s. Wimpole was a particular favourite as both of us have been visiting it since we were children and we’ve taken Autumn many times. The last time was at the end of August where Autumn chased the bee’s and played hide and seek behind all the trees with her mummy, it was a special and memorable time.

The rest of the money will be split between:

1- The East Anglian Air Ambulance – This charity group were the ones that got Becky to hospital as quickly as possible. Without them, it’s likely she wouldn’t have

2- Money towards the Neuro ICU (NCCU) at Addenbrooke’s Hospital- they treated her like a sister and us like family. When we cried they cried, they did everything possible to bring Becky back to us and then made the last few days as comfortable and private as possible

3- Trust fund for autumn - This will be for Autumn for when she’s 18, where she will be encouraged to use it to follow in her mummy’s footsteps of travelling around the world, amongst other amazing things - hopefully avoiding being bitten by rabid monkeys as Becky was on her trip around Cambodia. No amount of money could replace the hole Becky’s passing will leave in our beautiful daughters life, but I hope it can in some way help her feel closer to her mummy